Aveley Academicals 5 - 1 Thames Gateway

Firstly, I have to start with an apology.  This report was meant to be an in depth review of both the Accies convincing victory against a below par Thames Gateway, and a round-up of the Christmas Booze-athon.  However, my memory of both is slightly diminished by lack of time and energy to write a report over Christmas and the copious quantity of alcohol consumed on a particular Friday night/Saturday morning.  However, I will do my best to convey the key points.

Let’s start with the carnage at The Old Ship Inn, which was without doubt one of the best team piss ups I’ve attended.  The turn-out was excellent, the band was superb, the drinks were flowing and everyone was on top form.  The main recollections I have are of learning the following:

1. Terry is a closet Beatles fan (that was a great rendition of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds)

2. There is only one something – but despite Lee repeating it a countless number of times I can’t for the life of me remember what it is.

3. When Foggy says he’ll show you where his head got split open against Gateway, be prepared for him to drop his trousers (and pants).

4. The bully boys of Gateway are pussies compared to the combination of Stroppy Barman and Robin’s bathroom cabinet.

5. Don’t accept a drink off Luke A. – you’ll end up with twenty and they’ll all have ridiculous names that make them sound like harmless sweets; like ‘Skittle Bomb’ and ‘Bounty Brain (or was that Brian) Basher’.

6. Apparently James’s mum can tell him and brother Tom apart without the aid of tattoos or lairy bright pink football boots.

7. The gaffa knows how to deliver a back handed compliment – “I wish I’d realised you weren’t shit.  I would’ve come round and listened to more than just your last song!”

8. That clock in The Ship isn’t just back-to-front, it makes 8 hours of drinking feel like 2.

9. A Tactical Chunder on the C2C, and the fact The Ship is nowhere near a train station is no barrier to joining the team for more beer – good work Bobby.

I’m sure everyone else will have their own fond memories, but that’s my top 9 (as is traditional).

The drinks were scheduled for the Friday night to give us time to recover for a game against Lakeside on the Sunday.  However, it’s probably a good thing that this game was called off earlier in the week (because Lakeside couldn’t field a side), as something of us would still have struggled.

Having said that, it was frustrating that the momentum from a strong performance against Gateway couldn’t be carried straight over to the next week.  Still, this didn’t stop a strong Accies side putting in a confident and solid display against a team who on paper looked to be a big threat.  We were helped by the fact that they were missing some key players, but it’s hard to have sympathy for a side who start a game with ten men even though they’ve got a sub running the line, because they are waiting for a stronger player to turn up.

I have definitely said a number of times that to succeed in the Thurrock Sunday League, it isn’t enough to have the strongest first eleven.  You need a strong squad with enough players turning up week in, week out.  On this measure we definitely started as strong favourites in this game, and Liam was able to name a good side with some great options on the bench:

Subs: Brian, Terry, Luke A.

The keen eyed amongst you may notice that the line-up includes two captains.  This isn’t a typo, or a statement about needing multiple leaders on the field.  Foggy turned up late, and in doing so lost both his shirt and the arm band to Lee.  However, in a shocking display of denial and a slightly dubious statement to the referee about autism, that reiterates the call for certain Accies to need some diversity training (apparently Robin was upsetting the Gateway loyal followers in the previous game) Foggy refused to give up his crown and went out with an armband of his own.  This unacceptable behaviour also earned Foggy a DoTD award that was probably in the bag anyway following the worst attempt ever seen to stick up for one of your own players by squaring up to the oppo and proclaiming: “Leave him alone, he’s my c&@t!”

On top of his disability, Lee had to contend with a groin that before the game felt like it ‘was about to go.’  The frequent rubbing seemed to do the trick as not only did Lee make it through 90 minutes (autistic kids must be made of tougher stuff), but he had the turn of pace to skip past the last defender and finish at the near post to give the Accies the lead, and finish off a good move that saw James bring the ball forward before passing to Liam who in turn found Lee: 1-0.

This goal was fitting punishment for choosing to play with ten men, but they might have felt the gamble would pay-off when the lively midfielder finally arrived and started making some dangerous runs behind our back line.  However, Bobby soon spotted the danger and took on the man marking role superbly, and in doing so swung the pendulum back in the Accies’ favour.

Aveley have been guilty of not taking their chances this season, but you can usually rely on Dale, especially from 8 yards with no pressure and the whole of the goal to aim for.  As the ball flew wide of the goal some may have been worried that this might not be Dale’s day.  Luckily he didn’t feel the same, and was soon on the score sheet, and on his way to yet another hat-trick.  He’d love me to quote how many that is now but I just haven’t got the time to look back to the last time I did a stock take.  This one started with Craig flicking the ball over the defender on the bye line before crossing to the middle.  The defender slice the clearance back towards his own goal, and Dale wasn’t going to look a second gift horse in the mouth: 2-0.

Dale got his second before half time, when Luke C. played the ball forward for the striker to chase. He was rewarded for his effort to close down the defender, and Dale came out of the challenge with the ball and finished with ease: 3-0.

This was one of the easier half time discussions, as the orders were basically more of the same.  No changes were made straight away, but 10 minutes in Eye-Ball was replaced by Brian, who was still being eased back following injury.  Despite one scare, where the Accies were caught out by a long ball and flick on which allowed the striker a sight at goal from 18 yards which he gratefully accepted, the majority of the half was the boys in blue on the front foot.

With H not available, he was enjoying calling the shots from the side, and made two more influential changes.  Terry replaced Liam on the left and Luke A. came on Bobby.

Both were involved in the goals that killed off any hope of Thames Gateway making a comeback.  The Accies fourth was the goal of the game, and one of the best of the season.  Luke C. charged up the line before playing it forward to Craig, who held off the defender with his back to goal before playing it back to Luke C.  He then played it inside to Luke A. and continued his run down the line. Luke A. then threaded a perfect ball down the line which Luke C. was able to glide onto before crossing low into the middle, where Dale arrived at just the right time to sweep the ball into the net and complete his hat-trick: 4-1.

Terry always seems to be at the heart of the action, and his contribution this time will be remembered for a miss, and penalty appeal and a great goal.  The miss was on par with Dales: the goal at his mercy but he could only spoon it wide. The penalty appeal was a fair one, but perhaps the referee wanted to see more contact to warrant the theatrical tumble.  The goal was audacious, as Luke A. curled a sublime ball round the back of the defence for Terry to collect.  Just when we thought Terry had tried one too many twists, he moved the ball inside and curled it into the far corner from 12 yards: 5-1.

This wrapped up a great victory and a fine way to end 2016.  We know Thames will offer a tougher challenge next time, but we can still raise our game higher.  MoTM deservedly went to Dale, who is finally making his way towards where he belongs – the top of the goal scoring chart.  It’s been nice having you down there mate, but we knew it wouldn’t last.

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 8th January 2017 – Essex Junior Cup Round 4. Away v Hanningfield.

Goal scoring chart

Gateway 2 - 0 Aveley Academicals

Unfortunately a performance from the Accies that is deserving of an epic write-up can only be based on second hand news, given that I was stuck at home waiting for the other boys in blue.  Someone had smashed the rear window of the mighty Green Machine the night before, and although the chances of ‘justice being done’ were slim I owed it to others who might be victims of greater crimes to see if any clues could be lifted.

I can therefore only imagine the scenes as The Accies took on Gateway; the team with the reputation for playing dirty and intimidating referees.  I like to think of it as a battle of good versus evil, right versus wrong, Wimbledon circa 1980s versus anyone else.  The cowardly goblins, hiding behind the muscle-bound, brain dead orcs and trolls versus the brave and courageous creatures of Middle Earth: the battle hardened and fearless dwarfs (Robin, Brian and Craig); the unassuming yet courageous hobbits (Bobby and Luke); the agile and lightning fast elves (Dale and Lewis) and the humans (Foggy, Liam and Tony) – kings and leaders of the free peoples.  Oh and Tom Bombadil – according to Wikipedia his weapon is singing (Terry).  If only they’d had their wizard (do I even need to say), then maybe the outcome would have been different.

 

Subs: Martin, James

 

From what I heard, Gateway lived up to their reputation for late tackles, swinging arms and basic foul play and intimidation.  However, the Accies weren’t going to roll over and play dead like some other teams who have leaked double figures against this mob.  Their ring leader, in particular, had a much tougher time than he is used to, as he came up against Robin, a man who has stood strong against the biggest and toughest opponents over the last 30+ years.  From talking to Robin it sounds like he had a great time, taking elbows, stamps and insults with a laugh and sense of enjoyment that must have been pretty unsettling for the perpetrator. He even had his opponent crying to the referee that Rob had ‘tried to break his leg’, but then he wouldn’t have known that Robin probably gets away with more than Gateway given the respect and admiration most Thurrock Sunday League referees have for him.

 

Who forgot to fill up the team bus?

 

It wasn’t just Robin though, although much like when the great warrior charges into battle, I’m sure the rest of the team took inspiration and confidence from this example.  After taking one particularly dirty tackle, Bobby became a man possessed and took command of a midfield that was missing some key components.  Luke C. didn’t hold back (good to see nothing changed there then), and threw himself into every challenge despite the potential consequences.  This included a nice shiner from a high boot as he bravely went for a header (I’m not sure if anyone has seen it – perhaps if we ask Luke he’ll put a picture on the chat, but then he is pretty modest).  It sounds like Luke C. had a particularly tough battle against Gateway’s 6 foot something, rapid winger.  He must have done a pretty good job as he as awarded MoTM for his efforts.  Perhaps the award should have been a bag of frozen peas.

 

The goals came at the start and the end of the game, and both seemed unavoidable and a touch unlucky.  The first was within 5 minutes, when Gateway broke following an Aveley corner.  Apparently the referee missed the fact that the ball had gone out and should have awarded a goal kick.  However, instead Aveley were caught short at the back and Gateway were clinical in their finishing.  The second goal in the last ten minutes was direct from a corner (which maybe was a generous decision?) and the aforementioned vertically superior winger rose high above everyone to head into the net.

 

For the 80 minutes between these goals, I am reliably informed that the Accies were the better side, and created more than enough really good chances to win the game.  Still, this was definitely a day to forget the result and be proud of the performance, especially as some marquee players were missing.  This positive feeling is echoed in the DoTD, which rather than being awarded for anything relating to the football went to Terry for an horrific fashion statement consisting of sparkly gloves and shorts down around his ankles (still that’s a pretty brave move in itself).

 

Good may have lost this first battle, but with another league and a cup game to come, the war is still very much there to be won.

 

Eye-Ball

Stanford Wanderers 2 – 5 Aveley Academicals (Ted Fairchild Cup 2nd Round)

Before I get onto the match, there is something else we need to talk about.  It’s not often that the prospect of signing a new player causes such a stir, and so much excitement in the ranks.  However, this was special, and so special in fact that I felt compelled to write a short poem:

From Poland he came,

And football’s his game.

Miroslav.
 

Working with Lee,

Used to play for a fee.

Miroslav.
 

Right back’s his thing,

But he’ll play on the wing.

Miroslav.
 

Thinks the skipper is great,

Got a new bezzy mate.

Miroslav.
 

Sondico’s his brand,

All others are banned.

Miroslav.
 

Vodka or gin,

He says drinking’s a sin.

Miroslav.
 

Drives not a car,

Rides Yamaha.

Miroslav.

Is he a real bloke?

It’s surely a joke.

Miroslav.
 

Dick of the day,

What a gumbo we say.

Miroslav.

 

Anyway, back to the game, and with a big test next week the gaffa wanted to try something different, against a young team from Division Two.  So we set up as a 3-5-2, with Eye-Ball and Luke being asked to play wing back, and Brian making a welcome return in the middle of defence alongside Foggy and Robin.  Dale made his first start since returning from Benidorm.

 

Subs: Scott, Craig, Terry

 

I don’t know whether it was the new formation, or the fact everyone was thinking of Miroslav, but we got off to an awful start.  We couldn’t string one let alone two passes together, and our young and enthusiastic opponents were running rings round us.  It’s unheard of for me to publish two formations, but within five minutes the tactics were ripped up and we reverted back to a more familiar 4-5-1.

 

 



This did seem to help us relax and start playing some football, but didn’t prevent the small, effeminate, Life of Brian extra look-alike parting the Blue Sea (consisting of the Accies’ midfield and defence) and waltzing through unchallenged to score: 1-0.

The frustration was building, but this isn’t necessarily a bad thing if that frustration is channelled in the right way, and it was promising to see a bit of grit and determination to put things right. However, we were still woefully sloppy and really didn’t look like scoring until Liam ran through on goal, and was narrowly beaten to the ball by the keeper.  On numerous occasions last season when we were struggling, Dale would find a goal out of nowhere to get us back a game, and as the ball bounced on the edge of the area he showed us what we have been missing. With the keeper out of position following the challenge with Liam, Dale lifted the ball over everyone, and it dropped just under the bar and into the far corner of the net: 1-1.

This goal really seemed to galvanise the team and we were now competing for everything, and starting to ruffle the fledgling feathers of our opponents.  However, the Accies weren’t able to find a reward for this increased pressure, and the scores remained level going into half time.

I haven’t mentioned yet that the referee for this game was ‘He who shall not be harangued’, and it was unfortunate that his whistle and voice dominated much of the second half.  This was never going to be a good game, but he turned it into a pretty awful one in which we were grateful to the three second half subs for playing a major part in getting us over the line.

I’m not sure Craig would want his stand out contribution to be remembered, but you could say it caused us to find the urgency to get the goals we needed to win the game.  The Accies were controlling the second half, and it seemed like only a matter of time before the goals would come.  Lewis’s goal was being well protected at one end, and we were creating chances (without finding the net) at the other.  Then a corner was nodded down into the six yard box by Robin, where Craig was unmarked and facing goal.  It was as if Christmas had come early, but unfortunately Craig didn’t want to accept the gift and instead of lashing the bouncing ball into the net he tried to side foot it, and only succeeded in lifting it softly into the arms of the grateful goal keeper.  If that was bad enough, those who were back defend seemed to be completely dumbstruck, as the keeper’s long clearance bounced under Luke, and was played out to the right wing where Eye-Ball was caught out of position.  The winger took one touch with his chest to carry the ball into the area before shooting first time across Lewis and into the far corner: 2-1.

This goal came completely against the run of play, but fortunately there was plenty of time to put things right, starting with getting back on level terms.  The ball was lifted back into the box following a corner, where H collected it on the left side of goal.  He could have shot himself (and possibly did), but instead the ball found its way to Robin who made not mistake from three yards out:  2-2.

Terry was on at this point, and was putting himself about and frustrating the opposition.  It was a foul on him in the centre circle which lead to Robin sending the ball into the box.  Under pressure the defender won the header, but could only help it on its way into the net, and we were in front for the first time in the match: 2-3.

With the obligatory Tel-lé being unsuccessful, Terry found a simpler route to bagging his first goal for the Accies.  He’d been working hard to get into the box whenever we broke, and was finally reward when Scott found himself with a lot of time and space in box.  After considering the options, he decided not to shoot, but instead squared to Terry who calmly placed the ball with the outside of his boot into the far corner: 2-4.

This goal was the most valuable, and it meant the ridiculous scenes that followed – in which Harry vented all the frustration that had built up through his exchanges with the other member of Hanson – were unlikely to cost us the game.  H was sent off for a reckless two footed lunge (delivered to the cry of “mmmbop”) which also saw his victim sent off for his reaction. 

Stanford’s centre half also saw red for excessive haranguing as he completely lost it with the ref, and had to be restrained, following the award of a penalty for a blatant foul on Terry, who had already turned him inside out.  Despite attempts to give the kick to someone else, Eye-Ball was harangued into taking it, and actually did a pretty good job in slotting it low to the keeper’s left for the fourth goal of his ten and a bit season club career, which includes a 100% record from the spot. 2-5.

And so we progressed to the 3^rd round, and a potential clash against our nemesis from last year, Stanford Town.  MoTM was awarded to Robin for a display in which – as you would expect – he kept is head when those around him lost theirs.  Solid in defence, and a goal and an assist to round off a great performance.

So not a game to be remembered for what happened on the pitch, but one that will still be cherished for the look on the Dick of the Day’s face when he was told after the game that Miroslav had flown back to Poland, and was unlikely to be seen again.  Priceless.

Eye-Ball

Next game:  Sunday 4^th December @ Chadwell Rec v Gateway.

Goal scoring chart

Prettygate F.C. 1 – 4 Aveley Academicals (Essex Junior Cup 3rd Round)

After the car crash that was last week’s performance, the Accies played a lot better whilst still showing signs that the wounds had not quite fully healed.  From a new vantage point running the line, I saw a side that was in full control against a team whose football was as far from their name as Benidorm Darren is from his homeland.  Possession was retained with confidence from the back to the front, and tackles that needed to be made were.  However, whilst we kept the ball its movement was slow and the intensity both in and out of possession that destroyed Deportivo just two weeks earlier was lacking.  Still, there is always going to be a tendency to let sides drag you down to their level, and as long as we can lift ourselves when we need to we should never be too unhappy with a comfortable win that takes us into the fourth round of the Essex Cup for the first time since 2014 (and on that occasion we got a bye and a walkover).

 

The squad is looking really strong at the moment, and was strengthened further by the arrival of Benidorm Darren, who had flown in during the previous week.  Rumours are rife that this Mediterranean import is none other than the Accies most prolific goal scorer (since records began), Dale Kenyon.  However, serious doubts were raised when Ben-Dal missed a chance to score on his debut in the second half, as he scuffed a volley from Tony’s cross whilst just six yards out.  I’m pretty sure Dale would never have done that…

 

So despite the awful weather – the storms and rain thankfully had not affected the pitch which was very playable – Sharpy was given a selection headache thanks to the 15 players who made the 50 mile trip to Colchester.  Like a pendulum, the balance has tipped in favour of attacking options with Ben-Dal and Terry tipping the scales as Blakey’s busted toe meant he joins centre half partner Brian on the treatment table.  We still have a wealth of options in the middle, which meant Foggy could drop back into defence without leaving too big a hole.  At least we had determined the correct rules regarding roll-on, roll-off subs, which meant Sharpy could give all fours substitutes a decent run out as well.

 

 

Subs: Scott, Ben-Dal, Bobby, Eye-Ball

 

We may as well get Prettygate’s contribution to the first half out of the way first.  The only real tactic they had was to get the ball up to their big target man (and they don’t come much bigger), and hope a flick-on or speculative drive may lead to Lewis being troubled.  Apart from that their only other game plan was to throw themselves recklessly and clumsily into challenges in the hope they could scare us off.  Neither of these tactics worked, as although Robin didn’t quite have the striker in his pocket (no-one has pockets that big) he did do enough to make life uncomfortable his opponent.  We also kept our heads reasonably well despite more than enough provocation and lack of protection from the referee.  The one time it did flair up was when James received an early shower (his first of the season) from Prettygate’s substitute, who had recently taken himself off having obviously exhausted himself throwing his considerable weight around for the first half hour of the game.  James was steaming down the line, which he crossed in an attempt to keep the ball in only to get tangled with the sub, who obviously thought James was leaving a foot in.  The truth is that this moron shouldn’t have anywhere near the sideline and shouldn’t have taken his ineptitude out on someone half his size – who he had unfairly targeted during the game.

 

Anyway, that’s enough column inches for our opponents – let’s talk about the Accies.  The story of the first half was Lee controlling the game from the middle of the field, Foggy superbly marshalling the defence and thus allowing Lewis to assume his favoured ‘sweeper-keeper’ role, Liam making the right back wish he’d stayed in bed, and Terry and Tony trying to figure out who was playing through the middle.  In fact for the first 20 minutes Luke C. provided the main attacking threat down the right, and even put in some cracking crosses which were unfortunate not to be turned into the net.

 

Both Tony and Terry had chances in the first half, with Tony latching on to Robin’s free-kick but blazing just wide of the left upright, and Terry coming agonisingly close to getting his head on Lee’s cross from under the bar.  Terry looked a lot happier when Tony officially took on the right forward role, and despite the trademark overhead kick not coming off, he set up Liam for the opening goal with a nice through-ball inside the right fullback.  Liam raced into the box and finished smartly at the near post: 0-1.

 

The thing I love about football is that it is accessible to people of all shapes and sizes, so I don’t like to point the finger of fun at individuals who might appear to have a physical disadvantage.  However, if Prettygate’s goal keeper hadn’t had quite such a struggle to overcome the Earth’s gravitational pull he might have been able to jump high enough to prevent Liam’s second attempt at crossing the ball, following a corner, from dipping (albeit wind assisted) under the bar for his second of the game.  Still, at least Bobby had someone who would appreciate swapping the XXL shirt at the end of the game: 0-2.

 

[Photos courtesy of Steve Catley - see the full gallery here: http://stecat.x10host.com/piwigo/index.php?/category/30]

 

The Accies deploy some questionable tactics by setting up a wind breaker on the goal line.  Oh wait, that's Bobby!

 

The second half should have seen us push on and create a rugby score, however with Sharpy rightfully making a number of changes both at half time and throughout the half to give everyone a fair crack, it was always going to be a rather disjointed performance.  The score remained at 2-0 for at least 20 minutes, with Terry coming closest to scoring from a more favoured central role.  Ben-Dal played the ball through, but with the hard work done to beat the defenders, the ball got stuck under Terry’s feet and the chance went begging before a shot could be unleashed.

 

All the subs (including the returning ones) made an impact, with Scott making a crunching (and very fair challenge) which left the defender eating mud, Bobby looking lively and relishing the time he was permitted on the ball despite appearing to have shrunk in the rain, and Ben-Dal showing some promising link up play with Tony, as they interchanged between wing and centre and provided good balls for each other.  Liam also returned after a spell on the side line, and should have secured his hat-trick but headed just wide from Ben-Dal’s cross and scuffed a chance at the back post after Tony put it on a plate for him.

 

Despite some attempts to rig the DoTD votes to hand the prize to James for his water fight, Lewis was declared the victor for a momentary lapse in concentration that could have made the last 10 minutes interesting.  Lewis had pointed out how slippery the match ball was before the game had started, and whilst he’d obviously realised it might be difficult to hold, it don’t think he’d thought about what might happen if you underestimate how much a harmful over-hit through ball could skid off the surface.  Before Lewis could have this epiphany the ball was over his head and in the back of the net: 1-2.

 

One man in particular seemed particularly determined to ensure our safe passage to the fourth round, and Tony applied the necessary finishes to ensure his dream of adding the Junior Cup to his Senior Essex Cup winner’s medal stays alive.  For his first, Liam played the ball through and Tony rode the challenges of two defenders before appearing to show too much of it to the keeper.  However, it turns out inertia, as well as gravity, is a hindrance for Prettygate’s number 1, and Tony got there just in time to poke the ball around him (no mean feat) for an excellent finish: 1-3.

 

Tony then put the icing on the cake as he collected the ball from Bobby, and turned inside before unleashing a powerful left foot drive from 20 yards which the keeper got across to, but couldn’t get enough on it to keep the ball out: 1-4.

 

I'm sure Tony subconsciously considered playing in Liam for his hat-trick before firing in his second.

 

here were no further scares and the final whistle soon blew to signal our progress to the next round.  Captain Foggy collected his fourth MoTM award of the season thanks to a commanding display at the back, and in doing so surely became the first player (definitely since records began) to be awarded MoTM whilst playing in three different positions.  Also, if the effort on the pitch was pleasing, the shower commitment was nothing short of outstanding – it’s got to be the first time there has been a queue!  James was a noticeable absence, but then I suppose he could argue he showered during the game.

 

Well done boys for making this a thoroughly enjoyable trip.  I wouldn’t say we’ve quite got our swagger back, but if we continue to play for the team and want it enough, it will come.

 

Eye-Ball

 

Next game: Sunday 27^th November @ The Billet v Stanford Wanderers – Ted Fairchild Cup

 

Goal scoring chart

 

Aveley Academicals 0 – 6 Palmers F.C.

After the euphoria of last week, the Accies were brought crashing back to Earth by a Palmers F.C. side who demonstrated the level we need to rise to if we are going to be challenging them, and the other top teams in the league come the end of the season.  We can talk until the cats come home about how poor we were, but we should take out hats to our opponents, who were superior in every department.

With a very strong squad of 15 players to choose from, availability for once cannot be used as an excuse.  Individually we made too many mistakes, and were severely punished for them, and collectively… well let’s just say that’s the first 92 minute silence I’ve seen observed on Remembrance Sunday.  Please note that I’m avoiding making any connection with the sacrifices and suffering of those who gave everything for their country, because Sunday League football doesn’t merit any such comparisons.  Actually, the one bright light in an otherwise dark morning, was that the scene in the dressing room after the game was one of thoughtful reflection and acceptance; rather than one of rage, destruction and ill-feeling.

However disappointed those were who played a part in this game, spare a thought for Martin, who was unfortunate to be the one who missed out with only three subs being permitted.  Still, at least he should sleep a bit easier knowing the result was completely out of his hands.

Subs: James, Martin, Terry*, Craig

[*on debut]

I hate having to write up details of heavy defeats, and therefore the one consolation is that on this occasion I can refer my readers to YouTube if you want to see how the goals were conceded.  As well as magnifying the mistakes that led to us conceding, I imagine the highlights will also show, through their absence, the problems we had creating chances of our own.

One player who will unwittingly take a leading role in the lowlights of this match is Eye-Ball, as for at least 4 of Palmers’ goals, his attempt and failure to intervene was proceeded by the ball ending up in the back of the net.  The worst attempt was when he inexcusably forgot the first rule for any average Sunday League footballer: “Just get it out”.  Instead Eye-Ball shocked Lewis by trying to head the ball back to him from 6 yards out, but only succeeded in earning an assist.  A worthy nomination for DoTD which couldn’t be bettered.

MoTM was awarded to Harry, who couldn’t be faulted for commitment and effort, and was one of the few of us who didn’t deserve to be on the losing side.  Lewis’s penalty save should also be mentioned, but also highlighted that it just wasn’t our day as the rebound fell kindly for a Palmers player to put into a net.  Robin also brought a rare smile to your reporter’s face, when he had already run of the pitch and grabbed the flag from James, before realising that it was Bob, not Rob who was making way.  He said he wondered who was going to fill in a centre half, but that didn’t stop him getting off as quickly as he could.  Also, there was a promising introduction for Terry in the second half, as he put himself about and even made an entry to rival Martin for overhead kick attempt of the season.

Whilst we definitely don’t want to dwell on this defeat, let’s not forget how awful it felt to be on the end of such a drubbing.  As you would expect, Robin was the voice of reason as he pointed out that one turd doesn’t make a pile of manure (OK, I might be paraphrasing but you get the drift).  We’ve still got some work to do to become the team that we have the potential to be, and we start rebuilding again for next week.   Pack your toothbrushes boys, we’re off to Colchester!

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 20th November v Prettygate FC - Away @ Shrub End Playing Field, Colchester

Goal scoring chart