Let’s start with the carnage at The Old Ship Inn, which was without doubt one of the best team piss ups I’ve attended. The turn-out was excellent, the band was superb, the drinks were flowing and everyone was on top form. The main recollections I have are of learning the following:
1. Terry is a closet Beatles fan (that was a great rendition of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds)
2. There is only one something – but despite Lee repeating it a countless number of times I can’t for the life of me remember what it is.
3. When Foggy says he’ll show you where his head got split open against Gateway, be prepared for him to drop his trousers (and pants).
4. The bully boys of Gateway are pussies compared to the combination of Stroppy Barman and Robin’s bathroom cabinet.
5. Don’t accept a drink off Luke A. – you’ll end up with twenty and they’ll all have ridiculous names that make them sound like harmless sweets; like ‘Skittle Bomb’ and ‘Bounty Brain (or was that Brian) Basher’.
6. Apparently James’s mum can tell him and brother Tom apart without the aid of tattoos or lairy bright pink football boots.
7. The gaffa knows how to deliver a back handed compliment – “I wish I’d realised you weren’t shit. I would’ve come round and listened to more than just your last song!”
8. That clock in The Ship isn’t just back-to-front, it makes 8 hours of drinking feel like 2.
9. A Tactical Chunder on the C2C, and the fact The Ship is nowhere near a train station is no barrier to joining the team for more beer – good work Bobby.
I’m sure everyone else will have their own fond memories, but that’s my top 9 (as is traditional).
The drinks were scheduled for the Friday night to give us time to recover for a game against Lakeside on the Sunday. However, it’s probably a good thing that this game was called off earlier in the week (because Lakeside couldn’t field a side), as something of us would still have struggled.
Having said that, it was frustrating that the momentum from a strong performance against Gateway couldn’t be carried straight over to the next week. Still, this didn’t stop a strong Accies side putting in a confident and solid display against a team who on paper looked to be a big threat. We were helped by the fact that they were missing some key players, but it’s hard to have sympathy for a side who start a game with ten men even though they’ve got a sub running the line, because they are waiting for a stronger player to turn up.
I have definitely said a number of times that to succeed in the Thurrock Sunday League, it isn’t enough to have the strongest first eleven. You need a strong squad with enough players turning up week in, week out. On this measure we definitely started as strong favourites in this game, and Liam was able to name a good side with some great options on the bench:
Subs: Brian, Terry, Luke A.
The keen eyed amongst you may notice that the line-up includes two captains. This isn’t a typo, or a statement about needing multiple leaders on the field. Foggy turned up late, and in doing so lost both his shirt and the arm band to Lee. However, in a shocking display of denial and a slightly dubious statement to the referee about autism, that reiterates the call for certain Accies to need some diversity training (apparently Robin was upsetting the Gateway loyal followers in the previous game) Foggy refused to give up his crown and went out with an armband of his own. This unacceptable behaviour also earned Foggy a DoTD award that was probably in the bag anyway following the worst attempt ever seen to stick up for one of your own players by squaring up to the oppo and proclaiming: “Leave him alone, he’s my c&@t!”
On top of his disability, Lee had to contend with a groin that before the game felt like it ‘was about to go.’ The frequent rubbing seemed to do the trick as not only did Lee make it through 90 minutes (autistic kids must be made of tougher stuff), but he had the turn of pace to skip past the last defender and finish at the near post to give the Accies the lead, and finish off a good move that saw James bring the ball forward before passing to Liam who in turn found Lee: 1-0.
This goal was fitting punishment for choosing to play with ten men, but they might have felt the gamble would pay-off when the lively midfielder finally arrived and started making some dangerous runs behind our back line. However, Bobby soon spotted the danger and took on the man marking role superbly, and in doing so swung the pendulum back in the Accies’ favour.
Aveley have been guilty of not taking their chances this season, but you can usually rely on Dale, especially from 8 yards with no pressure and the whole of the goal to aim for. As the ball flew wide of the goal some may have been worried that this might not be Dale’s day. Luckily he didn’t feel the same, and was soon on the score sheet, and on his way to yet another hat-trick. He’d love me to quote how many that is now but I just haven’t got the time to look back to the last time I did a stock take. This one started with Craig flicking the ball over the defender on the bye line before crossing to the middle. The defender slice the clearance back towards his own goal, and Dale wasn’t going to look a second gift horse in the mouth: 2-0.
Dale got his second before half time, when Luke C. played the ball forward for the striker to chase. He was rewarded for his effort to close down the defender, and Dale came out of the challenge with the ball and finished with ease: 3-0.
This was one of the easier half time discussions, as the orders were basically more of the same. No changes were made straight away, but 10 minutes in Eye-Ball was replaced by Brian, who was still being eased back following injury. Despite one scare, where the Accies were caught out by a long ball and flick on which allowed the striker a sight at goal from 18 yards which he gratefully accepted, the majority of the half was the boys in blue on the front foot.
With H not available, he was enjoying calling the shots from the side, and made two more influential changes. Terry replaced Liam on the left and Luke A. came on Bobby.
Both were involved in the goals that killed off any hope of Thames Gateway making a comeback. The Accies fourth was the goal of the game, and one of the best of the season. Luke C. charged up the line before playing it forward to Craig, who held off the defender with his back to goal before playing it back to Luke C. He then played it inside to Luke A. and continued his run down the line. Luke A. then threaded a perfect ball down the line which Luke C. was able to glide onto before crossing low into the middle, where Dale arrived at just the right time to sweep the ball into the net and complete his hat-trick: 4-1.
Terry always seems to be at the heart of the action, and his contribution this time will be remembered for a miss, and penalty appeal and a great goal. The miss was on par with Dales: the goal at his mercy but he could only spoon it wide. The penalty appeal was a fair one, but perhaps the referee wanted to see more contact to warrant the theatrical tumble. The goal was audacious, as Luke A. curled a sublime ball round the back of the defence for Terry to collect. Just when we thought Terry had tried one too many twists, he moved the ball inside and curled it into the far corner from 12 yards: 5-1.
This wrapped up a great victory and a fine way to end 2016. We know Thames will offer a tougher challenge next time, but we can still raise our game higher. MoTM deservedly went to Dale, who is finally making his way towards where he belongs – the top of the goal scoring chart. It’s been nice having you down there mate, but we knew it wouldn’t last.
Eye-Ball
Next game: Sunday 8th January 2017 – Essex Junior Cup Round 4. Away v Hanningfield.
Goal scoring chart
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