Gateway 2 - 0 Aveley Academicals

Unfortunately a performance from the Accies that is deserving of an epic write-up can only be based on second hand news, given that I was stuck at home waiting for the other boys in blue.  Someone had smashed the rear window of the mighty Green Machine the night before, and although the chances of ‘justice being done’ were slim I owed it to others who might be victims of greater crimes to see if any clues could be lifted.

I can therefore only imagine the scenes as The Accies took on Gateway; the team with the reputation for playing dirty and intimidating referees.  I like to think of it as a battle of good versus evil, right versus wrong, Wimbledon circa 1980s versus anyone else.  The cowardly goblins, hiding behind the muscle-bound, brain dead orcs and trolls versus the brave and courageous creatures of Middle Earth: the battle hardened and fearless dwarfs (Robin, Brian and Craig); the unassuming yet courageous hobbits (Bobby and Luke); the agile and lightning fast elves (Dale and Lewis) and the humans (Foggy, Liam and Tony) – kings and leaders of the free peoples.  Oh and Tom Bombadil – according to Wikipedia his weapon is singing (Terry).  If only they’d had their wizard (do I even need to say), then maybe the outcome would have been different.

 

Subs: Martin, James

 

From what I heard, Gateway lived up to their reputation for late tackles, swinging arms and basic foul play and intimidation.  However, the Accies weren’t going to roll over and play dead like some other teams who have leaked double figures against this mob.  Their ring leader, in particular, had a much tougher time than he is used to, as he came up against Robin, a man who has stood strong against the biggest and toughest opponents over the last 30+ years.  From talking to Robin it sounds like he had a great time, taking elbows, stamps and insults with a laugh and sense of enjoyment that must have been pretty unsettling for the perpetrator. He even had his opponent crying to the referee that Rob had ‘tried to break his leg’, but then he wouldn’t have known that Robin probably gets away with more than Gateway given the respect and admiration most Thurrock Sunday League referees have for him.

 

Who forgot to fill up the team bus?

 

It wasn’t just Robin though, although much like when the great warrior charges into battle, I’m sure the rest of the team took inspiration and confidence from this example.  After taking one particularly dirty tackle, Bobby became a man possessed and took command of a midfield that was missing some key components.  Luke C. didn’t hold back (good to see nothing changed there then), and threw himself into every challenge despite the potential consequences.  This included a nice shiner from a high boot as he bravely went for a header (I’m not sure if anyone has seen it – perhaps if we ask Luke he’ll put a picture on the chat, but then he is pretty modest).  It sounds like Luke C. had a particularly tough battle against Gateway’s 6 foot something, rapid winger.  He must have done a pretty good job as he as awarded MoTM for his efforts.  Perhaps the award should have been a bag of frozen peas.

 

The goals came at the start and the end of the game, and both seemed unavoidable and a touch unlucky.  The first was within 5 minutes, when Gateway broke following an Aveley corner.  Apparently the referee missed the fact that the ball had gone out and should have awarded a goal kick.  However, instead Aveley were caught short at the back and Gateway were clinical in their finishing.  The second goal in the last ten minutes was direct from a corner (which maybe was a generous decision?) and the aforementioned vertically superior winger rose high above everyone to head into the net.

 

For the 80 minutes between these goals, I am reliably informed that the Accies were the better side, and created more than enough really good chances to win the game.  Still, this was definitely a day to forget the result and be proud of the performance, especially as some marquee players were missing.  This positive feeling is echoed in the DoTD, which rather than being awarded for anything relating to the football went to Terry for an horrific fashion statement consisting of sparkly gloves and shorts down around his ankles (still that’s a pretty brave move in itself).

 

Good may have lost this first battle, but with another league and a cup game to come, the war is still very much there to be won.

 

Eye-Ball

Stanford Wanderers 2 – 5 Aveley Academicals (Ted Fairchild Cup 2nd Round)

Before I get onto the match, there is something else we need to talk about.  It’s not often that the prospect of signing a new player causes such a stir, and so much excitement in the ranks.  However, this was special, and so special in fact that I felt compelled to write a short poem:

From Poland he came,

And football’s his game.

Miroslav.
 

Working with Lee,

Used to play for a fee.

Miroslav.
 

Right back’s his thing,

But he’ll play on the wing.

Miroslav.
 

Thinks the skipper is great,

Got a new bezzy mate.

Miroslav.
 

Sondico’s his brand,

All others are banned.

Miroslav.
 

Vodka or gin,

He says drinking’s a sin.

Miroslav.
 

Drives not a car,

Rides Yamaha.

Miroslav.

Is he a real bloke?

It’s surely a joke.

Miroslav.
 

Dick of the day,

What a gumbo we say.

Miroslav.

 

Anyway, back to the game, and with a big test next week the gaffa wanted to try something different, against a young team from Division Two.  So we set up as a 3-5-2, with Eye-Ball and Luke being asked to play wing back, and Brian making a welcome return in the middle of defence alongside Foggy and Robin.  Dale made his first start since returning from Benidorm.

 

Subs: Scott, Craig, Terry

 

I don’t know whether it was the new formation, or the fact everyone was thinking of Miroslav, but we got off to an awful start.  We couldn’t string one let alone two passes together, and our young and enthusiastic opponents were running rings round us.  It’s unheard of for me to publish two formations, but within five minutes the tactics were ripped up and we reverted back to a more familiar 4-5-1.

 

 



This did seem to help us relax and start playing some football, but didn’t prevent the small, effeminate, Life of Brian extra look-alike parting the Blue Sea (consisting of the Accies’ midfield and defence) and waltzing through unchallenged to score: 1-0.

The frustration was building, but this isn’t necessarily a bad thing if that frustration is channelled in the right way, and it was promising to see a bit of grit and determination to put things right. However, we were still woefully sloppy and really didn’t look like scoring until Liam ran through on goal, and was narrowly beaten to the ball by the keeper.  On numerous occasions last season when we were struggling, Dale would find a goal out of nowhere to get us back a game, and as the ball bounced on the edge of the area he showed us what we have been missing. With the keeper out of position following the challenge with Liam, Dale lifted the ball over everyone, and it dropped just under the bar and into the far corner of the net: 1-1.

This goal really seemed to galvanise the team and we were now competing for everything, and starting to ruffle the fledgling feathers of our opponents.  However, the Accies weren’t able to find a reward for this increased pressure, and the scores remained level going into half time.

I haven’t mentioned yet that the referee for this game was ‘He who shall not be harangued’, and it was unfortunate that his whistle and voice dominated much of the second half.  This was never going to be a good game, but he turned it into a pretty awful one in which we were grateful to the three second half subs for playing a major part in getting us over the line.

I’m not sure Craig would want his stand out contribution to be remembered, but you could say it caused us to find the urgency to get the goals we needed to win the game.  The Accies were controlling the second half, and it seemed like only a matter of time before the goals would come.  Lewis’s goal was being well protected at one end, and we were creating chances (without finding the net) at the other.  Then a corner was nodded down into the six yard box by Robin, where Craig was unmarked and facing goal.  It was as if Christmas had come early, but unfortunately Craig didn’t want to accept the gift and instead of lashing the bouncing ball into the net he tried to side foot it, and only succeeded in lifting it softly into the arms of the grateful goal keeper.  If that was bad enough, those who were back defend seemed to be completely dumbstruck, as the keeper’s long clearance bounced under Luke, and was played out to the right wing where Eye-Ball was caught out of position.  The winger took one touch with his chest to carry the ball into the area before shooting first time across Lewis and into the far corner: 2-1.

This goal came completely against the run of play, but fortunately there was plenty of time to put things right, starting with getting back on level terms.  The ball was lifted back into the box following a corner, where H collected it on the left side of goal.  He could have shot himself (and possibly did), but instead the ball found its way to Robin who made not mistake from three yards out:  2-2.

Terry was on at this point, and was putting himself about and frustrating the opposition.  It was a foul on him in the centre circle which lead to Robin sending the ball into the box.  Under pressure the defender won the header, but could only help it on its way into the net, and we were in front for the first time in the match: 2-3.

With the obligatory Tel-lé being unsuccessful, Terry found a simpler route to bagging his first goal for the Accies.  He’d been working hard to get into the box whenever we broke, and was finally reward when Scott found himself with a lot of time and space in box.  After considering the options, he decided not to shoot, but instead squared to Terry who calmly placed the ball with the outside of his boot into the far corner: 2-4.

This goal was the most valuable, and it meant the ridiculous scenes that followed – in which Harry vented all the frustration that had built up through his exchanges with the other member of Hanson – were unlikely to cost us the game.  H was sent off for a reckless two footed lunge (delivered to the cry of “mmmbop”) which also saw his victim sent off for his reaction. 

Stanford’s centre half also saw red for excessive haranguing as he completely lost it with the ref, and had to be restrained, following the award of a penalty for a blatant foul on Terry, who had already turned him inside out.  Despite attempts to give the kick to someone else, Eye-Ball was harangued into taking it, and actually did a pretty good job in slotting it low to the keeper’s left for the fourth goal of his ten and a bit season club career, which includes a 100% record from the spot. 2-5.

And so we progressed to the 3^rd round, and a potential clash against our nemesis from last year, Stanford Town.  MoTM was awarded to Robin for a display in which – as you would expect – he kept is head when those around him lost theirs.  Solid in defence, and a goal and an assist to round off a great performance.

So not a game to be remembered for what happened on the pitch, but one that will still be cherished for the look on the Dick of the Day’s face when he was told after the game that Miroslav had flown back to Poland, and was unlikely to be seen again.  Priceless.

Eye-Ball

Next game:  Sunday 4^th December @ Chadwell Rec v Gateway.

Goal scoring chart

Prettygate F.C. 1 – 4 Aveley Academicals (Essex Junior Cup 3rd Round)

After the car crash that was last week’s performance, the Accies played a lot better whilst still showing signs that the wounds had not quite fully healed.  From a new vantage point running the line, I saw a side that was in full control against a team whose football was as far from their name as Benidorm Darren is from his homeland.  Possession was retained with confidence from the back to the front, and tackles that needed to be made were.  However, whilst we kept the ball its movement was slow and the intensity both in and out of possession that destroyed Deportivo just two weeks earlier was lacking.  Still, there is always going to be a tendency to let sides drag you down to their level, and as long as we can lift ourselves when we need to we should never be too unhappy with a comfortable win that takes us into the fourth round of the Essex Cup for the first time since 2014 (and on that occasion we got a bye and a walkover).

 

The squad is looking really strong at the moment, and was strengthened further by the arrival of Benidorm Darren, who had flown in during the previous week.  Rumours are rife that this Mediterranean import is none other than the Accies most prolific goal scorer (since records began), Dale Kenyon.  However, serious doubts were raised when Ben-Dal missed a chance to score on his debut in the second half, as he scuffed a volley from Tony’s cross whilst just six yards out.  I’m pretty sure Dale would never have done that…

 

So despite the awful weather – the storms and rain thankfully had not affected the pitch which was very playable – Sharpy was given a selection headache thanks to the 15 players who made the 50 mile trip to Colchester.  Like a pendulum, the balance has tipped in favour of attacking options with Ben-Dal and Terry tipping the scales as Blakey’s busted toe meant he joins centre half partner Brian on the treatment table.  We still have a wealth of options in the middle, which meant Foggy could drop back into defence without leaving too big a hole.  At least we had determined the correct rules regarding roll-on, roll-off subs, which meant Sharpy could give all fours substitutes a decent run out as well.

 

 

Subs: Scott, Ben-Dal, Bobby, Eye-Ball

 

We may as well get Prettygate’s contribution to the first half out of the way first.  The only real tactic they had was to get the ball up to their big target man (and they don’t come much bigger), and hope a flick-on or speculative drive may lead to Lewis being troubled.  Apart from that their only other game plan was to throw themselves recklessly and clumsily into challenges in the hope they could scare us off.  Neither of these tactics worked, as although Robin didn’t quite have the striker in his pocket (no-one has pockets that big) he did do enough to make life uncomfortable his opponent.  We also kept our heads reasonably well despite more than enough provocation and lack of protection from the referee.  The one time it did flair up was when James received an early shower (his first of the season) from Prettygate’s substitute, who had recently taken himself off having obviously exhausted himself throwing his considerable weight around for the first half hour of the game.  James was steaming down the line, which he crossed in an attempt to keep the ball in only to get tangled with the sub, who obviously thought James was leaving a foot in.  The truth is that this moron shouldn’t have anywhere near the sideline and shouldn’t have taken his ineptitude out on someone half his size – who he had unfairly targeted during the game.

 

Anyway, that’s enough column inches for our opponents – let’s talk about the Accies.  The story of the first half was Lee controlling the game from the middle of the field, Foggy superbly marshalling the defence and thus allowing Lewis to assume his favoured ‘sweeper-keeper’ role, Liam making the right back wish he’d stayed in bed, and Terry and Tony trying to figure out who was playing through the middle.  In fact for the first 20 minutes Luke C. provided the main attacking threat down the right, and even put in some cracking crosses which were unfortunate not to be turned into the net.

 

Both Tony and Terry had chances in the first half, with Tony latching on to Robin’s free-kick but blazing just wide of the left upright, and Terry coming agonisingly close to getting his head on Lee’s cross from under the bar.  Terry looked a lot happier when Tony officially took on the right forward role, and despite the trademark overhead kick not coming off, he set up Liam for the opening goal with a nice through-ball inside the right fullback.  Liam raced into the box and finished smartly at the near post: 0-1.

 

The thing I love about football is that it is accessible to people of all shapes and sizes, so I don’t like to point the finger of fun at individuals who might appear to have a physical disadvantage.  However, if Prettygate’s goal keeper hadn’t had quite such a struggle to overcome the Earth’s gravitational pull he might have been able to jump high enough to prevent Liam’s second attempt at crossing the ball, following a corner, from dipping (albeit wind assisted) under the bar for his second of the game.  Still, at least Bobby had someone who would appreciate swapping the XXL shirt at the end of the game: 0-2.

 

[Photos courtesy of Steve Catley - see the full gallery here: http://stecat.x10host.com/piwigo/index.php?/category/30]

 

The Accies deploy some questionable tactics by setting up a wind breaker on the goal line.  Oh wait, that's Bobby!

 

The second half should have seen us push on and create a rugby score, however with Sharpy rightfully making a number of changes both at half time and throughout the half to give everyone a fair crack, it was always going to be a rather disjointed performance.  The score remained at 2-0 for at least 20 minutes, with Terry coming closest to scoring from a more favoured central role.  Ben-Dal played the ball through, but with the hard work done to beat the defenders, the ball got stuck under Terry’s feet and the chance went begging before a shot could be unleashed.

 

All the subs (including the returning ones) made an impact, with Scott making a crunching (and very fair challenge) which left the defender eating mud, Bobby looking lively and relishing the time he was permitted on the ball despite appearing to have shrunk in the rain, and Ben-Dal showing some promising link up play with Tony, as they interchanged between wing and centre and provided good balls for each other.  Liam also returned after a spell on the side line, and should have secured his hat-trick but headed just wide from Ben-Dal’s cross and scuffed a chance at the back post after Tony put it on a plate for him.

 

Despite some attempts to rig the DoTD votes to hand the prize to James for his water fight, Lewis was declared the victor for a momentary lapse in concentration that could have made the last 10 minutes interesting.  Lewis had pointed out how slippery the match ball was before the game had started, and whilst he’d obviously realised it might be difficult to hold, it don’t think he’d thought about what might happen if you underestimate how much a harmful over-hit through ball could skid off the surface.  Before Lewis could have this epiphany the ball was over his head and in the back of the net: 1-2.

 

One man in particular seemed particularly determined to ensure our safe passage to the fourth round, and Tony applied the necessary finishes to ensure his dream of adding the Junior Cup to his Senior Essex Cup winner’s medal stays alive.  For his first, Liam played the ball through and Tony rode the challenges of two defenders before appearing to show too much of it to the keeper.  However, it turns out inertia, as well as gravity, is a hindrance for Prettygate’s number 1, and Tony got there just in time to poke the ball around him (no mean feat) for an excellent finish: 1-3.

 

Tony then put the icing on the cake as he collected the ball from Bobby, and turned inside before unleashing a powerful left foot drive from 20 yards which the keeper got across to, but couldn’t get enough on it to keep the ball out: 1-4.

 

I'm sure Tony subconsciously considered playing in Liam for his hat-trick before firing in his second.

 

here were no further scares and the final whistle soon blew to signal our progress to the next round.  Captain Foggy collected his fourth MoTM award of the season thanks to a commanding display at the back, and in doing so surely became the first player (definitely since records began) to be awarded MoTM whilst playing in three different positions.  Also, if the effort on the pitch was pleasing, the shower commitment was nothing short of outstanding – it’s got to be the first time there has been a queue!  James was a noticeable absence, but then I suppose he could argue he showered during the game.

 

Well done boys for making this a thoroughly enjoyable trip.  I wouldn’t say we’ve quite got our swagger back, but if we continue to play for the team and want it enough, it will come.

 

Eye-Ball

 

Next game: Sunday 27^th November @ The Billet v Stanford Wanderers – Ted Fairchild Cup

 

Goal scoring chart

 

Aveley Academicals 0 – 6 Palmers F.C.

After the euphoria of last week, the Accies were brought crashing back to Earth by a Palmers F.C. side who demonstrated the level we need to rise to if we are going to be challenging them, and the other top teams in the league come the end of the season.  We can talk until the cats come home about how poor we were, but we should take out hats to our opponents, who were superior in every department.

With a very strong squad of 15 players to choose from, availability for once cannot be used as an excuse.  Individually we made too many mistakes, and were severely punished for them, and collectively… well let’s just say that’s the first 92 minute silence I’ve seen observed on Remembrance Sunday.  Please note that I’m avoiding making any connection with the sacrifices and suffering of those who gave everything for their country, because Sunday League football doesn’t merit any such comparisons.  Actually, the one bright light in an otherwise dark morning, was that the scene in the dressing room after the game was one of thoughtful reflection and acceptance; rather than one of rage, destruction and ill-feeling.

However disappointed those were who played a part in this game, spare a thought for Martin, who was unfortunate to be the one who missed out with only three subs being permitted.  Still, at least he should sleep a bit easier knowing the result was completely out of his hands.

Subs: James, Martin, Terry*, Craig

[*on debut]

I hate having to write up details of heavy defeats, and therefore the one consolation is that on this occasion I can refer my readers to YouTube if you want to see how the goals were conceded.  As well as magnifying the mistakes that led to us conceding, I imagine the highlights will also show, through their absence, the problems we had creating chances of our own.

One player who will unwittingly take a leading role in the lowlights of this match is Eye-Ball, as for at least 4 of Palmers’ goals, his attempt and failure to intervene was proceeded by the ball ending up in the back of the net.  The worst attempt was when he inexcusably forgot the first rule for any average Sunday League footballer: “Just get it out”.  Instead Eye-Ball shocked Lewis by trying to head the ball back to him from 6 yards out, but only succeeded in earning an assist.  A worthy nomination for DoTD which couldn’t be bettered.

MoTM was awarded to Harry, who couldn’t be faulted for commitment and effort, and was one of the few of us who didn’t deserve to be on the losing side.  Lewis’s penalty save should also be mentioned, but also highlighted that it just wasn’t our day as the rebound fell kindly for a Palmers player to put into a net.  Robin also brought a rare smile to your reporter’s face, when he had already run of the pitch and grabbed the flag from James, before realising that it was Bob, not Rob who was making way.  He said he wondered who was going to fill in a centre half, but that didn’t stop him getting off as quickly as he could.  Also, there was a promising introduction for Terry in the second half, as he put himself about and even made an entry to rival Martin for overhead kick attempt of the season.

Whilst we definitely don’t want to dwell on this defeat, let’s not forget how awful it felt to be on the end of such a drubbing.  As you would expect, Robin was the voice of reason as he pointed out that one turd doesn’t make a pile of manure (OK, I might be paraphrasing but you get the drift).  We’ve still got some work to do to become the team that we have the potential to be, and we start rebuilding again for next week.   Pack your toothbrushes boys, we’re off to Colchester!

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 20th November v Prettygate FC - Away @ Shrub End Playing Field, Colchester

Goal scoring chart

FC Deportivo Thurrock 0 – 8 Aveley Academicals

If you want a performance that epitomises what the Accies want to be, and how we want to play then this is it.  Let’s get the argument of Deportivo being weaker than the team we’ve had some memorable battles with over the past to one side, as many far better teams on paper would also have crumbled under the pressure and quality displayed in the opening half an hour.  OK, so there were periods when the foot was taken off the gas, but it’s rare to maintain a high level of intensity for ninety minutes and anyway, eight goals is more than enough for one match report.

Martin, Bobby, Tony and Scott were missing, but such is the strength of the squad at the moment that Liam was still able to name an imposing starting eleven which was complimented by strong options on the bench.  However, there is still a worry that we’re only a bad tackle or awkward turn away from losing a host of players, with Foggy’s foot and Liam’s knee being the latest concerns to add to Brian and H’s niggling injuries.  Despite pulling up in the team talk (not even the warm up) Foggy made it through the game but looks doubtful for next week, Liam managed half an hour before limping off, and his replacement Brian tried to come back too soon and lasted eleven minutes.  Harry faired pretty well, and was replaced by Luke A. in the second half more as a precaution rather than due to concerns over making it to full time.

 

Subs: James, Luke A., Brian

The Accies are notoriously slow starters, but on this occasion I can’t copy and paste from previous reports, as we got off to a flyer.  Within five minutes we had won a corner, which Lee curled in perfectly for Blakey to rise and head in unchallenged at the back post: 0-1.

If there were any nerves, these were well and truly eradicated by this early goal as Aveley relaxed into their stride.  The complete control over every aspect of the game for the next half hour was a joy to watch.  With Foggy and Lee acting as focal points in the middle, the ball was moved from left to right and back again.  If there wasn’t a dead cert of a ball forward, the Accies were happy to go sideways or backwards in search of a better angle of attack.  In the past we have been a team that tries to do the right things, but has sometimes been found lacking in the execution.  This is definitely not the case now, and whereas I’d usually be able to name one or two players who were particular good on the ball I could name the whole team today (including Lewis in goal).  There was no panic, there was always at least one person making himself available and the touches and passes were spot on.

It wasn’t even just the quality when we had the ball.  Deportivo could put a strong case for the Accies paying the ref and pitch fees on their own, as they simply weren’t allowed to participate in this football match.  When H wasn’t winning the ball back in midfield, Blakey was cutting out anything long over the top.  It wasn’t just these two though, as everyone was equally determined to get the ball back and to help out their fellow men in red.  Once again, it’s really hard to give much of a mention to Lewis, whose only worry was keeping warm.  However, he had to be alert to a few long range efforts and set pieces, but was more than equal to the task and deserved a second clean sheet of the season.

I could spend the whole report reeling off superlatives, but now that I’ve set the scene let’s get on with describing what I can remember of the goals.

When you have an old car that is on its last legs you can go one of two ways: try to nurse it so it lasts as long as possible, or rag the balls off it to get the most out of the last few drives.  Foggy was taking the latter approach with his body, as he seemed to want to be as big an influence as possible before the foot gave up.  He was absolutely everywhere, and it was therefore now surprise when he found space on the right to receive a throw in from Luke.  Our skipper let the ball run across him before unleashing an unstoppable low shot with his left, without breaking his stride, which bounced in off the far post: 0-2.

With Craig playing as the middle man in the three, his job was to hold up the ball and hope that Liam and Mike kept to their side of the bargain by making the runs down the channels.  Mike didn’t disappoint, and timed his run superbly to latch on to a fantastic reverse through ball from Craig.  Foggy was there again to try and get on the end of Mike’s low cross, but he could only deflect it further into the middle where Lee was on hand to tap in from 6 yards: 0-3.

I haven’t mentioned up to this point that Deportivo’s keeper’s (who I’m assuming was a stand-in) 5’6” frame made the goal a tempting target when any shooting opportunity presented himself.  However, when Liam closed him down, it wouldn’t have made any difference if he was 6’8” as he was disposed and Liam was able to tap into an empty net: 0-4.

I think it’s fair to say that our team spirit has never been higher, which definitely can’t be said for Deportivo, who by this point were imploding and fighting amongst themselves.  I always point out these incidents, as I think everyone would agree how embarrassing it is to see.  Let’s make sure that we never get to that point, no matter how the game is going.

It could have been much worse for our opposition by half time, as many more chances were created including an opportunity for a second from Blakey as he tried to finish a move he started on the half way line.  However, the keeper was equal to his strike on this occasion.

The second half got off to a much slower start, and it didn’t look like we were going to equal our goal tally from the first forty five.  However, once the fifth finally went in, the flood gates well and truly opened.  Luke C. had moved to the left (being replaced at right back by James who was on for Brian), and was brought down on the left edge of the area whilst receiving a pass from Eye-Ball.  Lee looked to take advantage of the keeper’s vertical impediment by lifting the ball over the wall, and although the cross bar came to the rescue, Blakey was quickest to react under the bar to finish smartly on the half volley with his left: 0-5.

Blakey turned from goal scorer to provider as he nodded Lee’s corner from the back post to the middle, where his defensive partner was on hand to grateful head the ball into the net.  This was a fitting reward for yet another colossal performance from Robin, whose excellent form has been exactly what we need with Brian side-lined.  In fact I think Brian knows he’s got a job on his hand to get his place back! 0-6.

With Blakey now getting forward at any opportunity in search of the perfect hat-trick, Lee unceremoniously stole his thunder by grabbing a hat-trick of his own.  His second, saw him finish off a move which I’m sure he would have had some earlier part in, as Craig drove into the box from the right before squaring to Lee to finish in front of goal: 0-7.

The hat-trick goal was a great solo effort, as Lee took advantage of being one of the few players with anything left in the tank.  He picked up the ball in the middle and advanced towards the area, where Mike had made himself an option for a through ball.  However, Lee chose to use him as decoy and brushed aside the last defender before curling the ball low into the bottom corner.  Foggy seemed particularly devastated that his feat of two weeks ago had been equalled by his team mate, as he lay out on the deck as if we’d just lost the match.  Come on Skip, at least it wasn’t a perfect hat-trick.  I suppose it could be argued that this goal was unassisted, but if anyone wants to claim the pass to Lee we could award the contribution: 0-8.

So that was it for the goals, but I’d like to just mention one other effort of note from Mike.  Mike has made the wide right position his own this season, and plays in exactly the way that suits the system and style we are trying to achieve.  He isn’t afraid to come inside if the route down the line is blocked, and his faultless touch and accurate passing means when he gets the ball we usually keep it.  He’s also happy to track back and help in defence, and has really bought into the team ethos.  I thought it was only fair to give him a few column inches, and it would have been even more if his sweat volley from 18 yards, as he latched onto Craig’s cross, had flown a few inches more to the right.

Lee not only beat Blakey to the hat-trick, but also just pipped him to the MoTM award as he also moved to the head of the goal scoring chart.  Not only is Lee a quality footballer, whose composure on the ball and desire to be involved in play all over the pitch makes him a constant out-ball and catalyst for getting the team on the front foot, but he’s also a really positive vocal influence in a side that has been criticised for being a little quiet in the past. 

H received the obligatory nomination for DoTD, this time for turning up at Thames Rugby Club when we were playing at Belhus.  But it was Eye-Ball who took the award this week; to play in this team now you can’t hide from the ball, and Eye-Ball probably had more touches in this game out on the left than in any other over the past eleven years. Everything was actually going pretty well until a free kick was awarded for hand ball near the opposition box.  With vertigo kicking in, Eye-Ball was ready to retreat to the safety of the half way line, and leave the ball to someone who could actually kick it.  However, a cry from an unmarked skipper cannot be easily ignored, and Eye-Ball attempted to oblige by taking the kick quickly, lifting it over the last defender and leaving Foggy with the easiest of routes on goal.  However, there was to be no assist, no ninth goal and no slice of the glory pie, as Eye-Ball’s hasty effort only succeeded in hitting the retreating defender on the back.

 

And so another day of being proud to be an Accie comes to the end, and our slow ascent up the table continues as we move one more place to fourth.  Next week we come up against second place Palmers, who lost a close game to Thames Gateway this week.  Palmers are known as the team that film their games, so let’s do our hair, polish our boots and make sure we dominate not just the game, but the highlights reel as well.

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 13th November @ Home v Palmers

Goal scoring chart



Aveley Academicals 3 – 1 Mossops

The Accies extended their unbeaten run to five games with a confident and controlled display against the last team to beat us.  We were determined to make amends for defeat in the season opener at Palmers, when we were short of players (especially sober ones) and well below par.  The fog may have been covering the pitch, but the outlook was much brighter, with 14 players available with strong options in all positions.  Also, it was only Lee suffering the effects of the beer monster on this occasion, and somehow he avoided a DoTD vote despite declaring himself available but highly intoxicated at 5.30 in the morning (after the clocks had been put back). The team were behind Lee, with plenty of offers of a lift, but in hindsight bed was probably the best place for him.

Brian watch:  Bri made it through training on Wednesday, and if the moves he is busting in this video are anything to go by, he should be back in a week or two.  However, it seems like he might have some dental hygiene issues – try some Listerine mate…

https://www.facebook.com/vicky.anne.morris/videos/10210470184853049/

On second thoughts, if his breath could do that to strikers that would be one hell of a weapon (although we might have to check the rule book).
 

I thought it was only women who were meant to suffer from wearing uncomfortable shoes, but the state of Harry’s feet suggests this is becoming a real problem for the modern metro-sexual man.  Despite this, H was determined to test out the knee and with Tony also playing with his tight hamstring and Lewis with his strapped, recently dislocated finger, we were all just praying everyone would hold together for long enough to get us into a good position in the game.

Subs: Martin, Luke C., Scott

The opening fifteen minutes was a pretty tepid affair with both sides sizing each other up, and nobody getting the upper hand.  However, the fact Mossops weren’t able to get control was mainly due to Foggy and H breaking up the play so frequently in the middle.  We also managed to cut out the balls to their dangerous striker more frequently than last time, with Rob being especially determined to be first to everything that was played forward.  I think he may have felt he had a point to prove after their striker basically inferred Rob must only be playing because we were short!

Foggy will claim that haranguing the ref, following his failure to award a free kick after the skipper was trip whilst breaking away, was a ploy to get us fired up, but really the balance finally shifted in our favour when Tony won the ball in the air, and played it into the path of Liam (the kind of link up play that Sharpy would have especially loved to see).  Under pressure from Liam, the defender could only put the ball out for a corner.  Liam put in a great ball to the front of the six yard box, which the defender only half cleared.  Mike was quickest to react, and showed the great touch we’ve come to expect to volley the ball back towards goal, where it took a big deflection to enter the net at the near post.  I was unsighted, but the consensus was that the goal should go down as an O.G., with Mike getting the assist: 1-0.

We were definitely on top now, and could have scored 3 or 4 before the half was out.  Mossops would have been expected to cause us problems from set pieces, but we actually defended everything they threw at us superbly, and even looked a real threat on the counter-attack.  Foggy raced away with the ball from one corner, but when H collected the ball from his skipper inside the opposition box his shot-come-cross went straight to the keeper.  Foggy was involved again when Tony played the ball from the right, and forced the keeper to head clear from outside his area.  Foggy tried to lift it back over the goalie, but applied the wrong percentage of shin.  When Tony and Mike also had good efforts that went wide of the goal, you could have started to think we were going to make this more difficult than it needed to be.

Thankfully the second goal we craved arrived before half time: a clearance from a free kick landed at the feet of H on the edge of the box, and what was meant to be a shot turned into an almighty slice to the right.  However, if you slice the ball into the full back position with the penalty box packed, the one place you definitely want it to end up is with Craig.  His first attempt at a cross was blocked, but he wasn’t going to miss out on a second opportunity to whipped the ball in, and Tony rose unmarked to node home from six yards, for his first (and thoroughly deserve) goal of the season: 2-0.

There really isn’t too much to report from the other end in the first half.  Lewis was well positioned to catch and keep hold of one acrobatic effort, but for the most part the back five were in complete control.  Also, despite taking a huge risk by turning up in fluorescent red boots, James had a solid game and was only the victim of one or two of the type of challenge such footwear usually attracts.

One change was made at half time, with H being replaced by Luke C., who started the second half on the left with Liam moving across to the centre.  This would have been a tough decision given H’s influence on the game, but his knee had been risked enough for one day.

The majority of the second half was spent in search of the elusive third goal which would kill off the game.  The opposition had already shown signs of letting their heads drop, and haranguing was rife.  The last thing we wanted was for them to get a goal back to lift their spirits, and the only clear cut chance they had of doing so was well saved with his legs by Lewis after Mossop’s number nine had slipped between Rob and Blakey for the first and only time in the match.

The Lion’s share of the chances were being created at the other end, but the Accies just couldn’t find a way past the imposing figure of Mossop’s keeper.  Liam and Tony both found him an impassable object when through one on one, and when Eye-Ball won the ball on the half way line and played it forward to Luke C., Mossop’s number 1 was off the line quickly to make a tackle which split opinion as to whether or not he got the ball.  However, we played on and Eye-Ball picked up the loose ball and squared it across the box where it fell to Mike.  Again the keeper was equal to the effort and kept his side in the game yet again.

Tony’s hamstring continued to hold up, and it would have been tested as he kept pace with Liam, who had collected the ball on the edge of our box and raced the full length of the pitch down the right, before playing it inside to our lone striker.  On this occasion his shot went wide of the near post, as did a header that he did well to redirect towards goal.

If Tony’s eye for goal is still not quite there, it doesn’t really matter when he can play a pass like the one that led to the Holy Grail that was the third goal.  He picked the ball up on the right from Luke’s throw-in, and ran with it across the box.  When he seemed to have run out of options, he pulled off a killer ball inside the left fullback for Scott (on for James and playing on the left) who ran in on goal.  Having seen the issues his team mates had experienced with beating the keeper, he did the only sensible thing and squared for Liam to have a go.  With the goal at his mercy, Liam wouldn’t have wanted to give the keeper a chance of saving his effort, but his hand wasn’t enough to stop the ball crossing the line and hitting the back of the net: 3-0.

The defence deserved for the game to finish with a nil in the against column, but Scott was to have as big an impact at our end as he had at the opposition’s, where he had a ricochet that nearly went in off his nose, and a drive from all of 35 yards that he reckoned would have troubled the keeper if Craig hadn’t been in the way, to add to his assist.  In our penalty box, he was harshly adjudged (by Eye-Ball) to have handled the ball when it was smashed goal wards from close range.  It turns out it was actually Mike who was penalised - I don't know, some people are such sticklers for detail.  The resultant penalty was calmly dispatched: 3-1.

By this point Martin had replaced Tony, and just like last week he was finding himself in good positions to score.  On one occasion he drew a good save from the keeper, and on another Liam perhaps should have crossed to him for a tap in rather than going for goal himself.  He also earned his first DoTD award for an audacious attempt at Pelé at the far post which would only have been even more comical if the ball had actually made it anywhere near him.

So although the score line should have looked a lot more like a rugby score, we have to be very pleased with our performance and the way we approached this game.  There was a clear winner for MoTM, with Craig continuing his good run in the team with one of his best performances for the Accies.  We all know that Craig has arguably the best feet in the team, which he demonstrates as the ball is attracted to them by some invisible force whenever it comes near him.  However, in this game he showed he can also get stuck in with the physical side, as he challenged for headers and eased people off the ball to regain possession.  He looked in complete control of the ball every time he had it, and stubbornly held off players, refusing to move or release the ball until he was ready to.  Then in the second half the tricks and turns started coming out, and I’m sure some of the opposition were scared to go anywhere near him through fear of being made to look stupid.  It really was a joy to watch at times, and I’m just glad I don’t have to try and dispossess him.

 

 

Well done boys for another great team performance, and a thoroughly deserved 3 points which moves us up to fifth in the table.  Every week is going to be a new, and equally tough challenge, so let’s make sure we’re up for it again.

Eye-Ball

Goal scoring chart

St Clere’s U21 0 – 3 Aveley Academicals (Essex Junior Cup 2nd round)

Writing a story is pretty simple; you just need a beginning, a middle and an end.  However, to write a good story you need to add some additional ingredients: some tension; a cliff hanger; an unexpected twist.  As this game didn’t have any of these, I’m not even going to try and turn it into an epic.  Basically, in the beginning the referee blew his whistle to start the game, in the middle the Accies dominated against weaker opposition (who made it easier for us by only have ten men) and scored three goals, and at the end the whistle once again blew to signal our advancement into the 3^rd round of the Essex Junior Cup.

In a break from tradition, I’m going to start with the Goal Scoring Chart, because it really tells the story of this game.  For a start it doesn’t mention the opposition at all, which is fine as they’re not part of this story (actually I’m not sure they’d even get a collective mention on the credits). For most of the 90 minutes they were just obstacles who we had to crawl under, round and through on route to the goal.  That might sound a little harsh on a young side, who may have been lambs to the slaughter with eleven players, but with only ten it was like they had been slow cooked to perfection and smothered in ketchup.  It also names 20 players, of which 19 were there (I think we can excuse Dale), including 3 who were either injured or ineligible to play.  This is absolutely fantastic, and even though it’s not shown on the chart, attendance does count towards position for those who don’t trouble the goals and assists columns.   Add some considerable additional support (at least 4 fans) and we had possibly our biggest (and definitely most vocal) support since the cup final of 2012.

With Tony pulling up in the warm-up, this did make acting manager Liam’s job a little easier, although he could still only make three subs out of the four available and fell on his sword for the team.

Subs: Luke C., Liam, Martin, Bobby

So in a game that presented far more opportunities to progress up the table than I can ever hope to remember, who were the biggest winners and losers I hear you cry? 

The winners

Undoubtedly the biggest winner of the day was Foggy. A perfect hat-trick and a third MoTM performance of the season moved Captain Fantastic up nine places to the top of the leader board, and meant he has already surpassed his previous best tally of 2 goals in 2014/15.  No one exploited the one man advantage better, as Foggy followed the space and ran the show for most of the match.  His first goal followed a great bit of keep ball, which was synonymous of the opening 10 minutes, and ended with Scott passing the ball to Foggy on the edge of the area, who then floated it with his left foot over the keeper and into the top corner.

Foggy’s second was from a throw in by Lee on the left.  The ball was launched in flat and through a crowd of bodies, Foggy arrived late to dive and head the ball into the net.  The perfect hat-trick was then completed with an unstoppable right footed penalty – struck low to the keeper’s right – after another throw in from Lee was handled by the defender in the box.

Now I know Dale finds it hard to believe that Foggy scored one goal, let alone a perfect hat-trick.  Therefore to remove any shadow of a doubt, I have got hold of the following artist’s impression of the second goal:

Even more unbelievable is that we should have seen the front flip celebration (although slightly degraded by the use of hands) twice more either side of the penalty.  First Foggy was put through by Luke A., but with the perfect hat-trick on his mind, the skipper tried to lift the ball over the keeper with the outside of his right, when the left would have been a much better option.  He was also put through by Lee, and with the goal at his mercy poked the ball wide. 

The other big mover in the rankings was Scott, whose assist for the opener was his first mark on the table.  However, it could have been so much better if he hadn’t aimed for the goal on the far side of the 3G pitch rather than the one that was six yards in front of him, when Lee put it on a plate with a selfless cross when he could have gone alone.  In fact, that goal would have moved him up a whopping 16 places to 4^th. However, to rub salt into the wounds, the DoTD award he received for this miss prevented him from mover one extra place above Sharpy.

The losers (or those who lost out)

The worst thing about people missing chances, is that they take innocent team mates down with them.  Those to suffer most were Lee and Luke A., who played a number of killer final balls that were wasted.  Sometimes a little more selfishness wouldn’t have been frowned upon, in particular when Lee squared for Scott (who was possibly trying to get himself a job as placekicker at the upcoming NFL game at Twickenham), and when Martin played the ball to Luke C. (who’d obviously inflicted some atrocity on the linesman in a former life) who was flagged offside.  The goal was at Martin’s mercy and with the score at 3-0 nobody would have minded him going for glory.  Lee and Luke C. also had great chances one-on-one (both time set up by Luke A.), but both found the keeper too big an obstacle to avoid.

Martin also had a good chance to open his account for the Accies, but the keeper saved well after Eye-Ball had headed the ball into his path in the area.  Craig had a rasping shot that was well saved by the keeper via a deflection, and James played the ball of the first half for Mike who was finding a lot of joy down the channels, but couldn’t quite get round the keeper and last defender.

And the things the stats just don’t show:

Rob being a defensive rock, and giving the striker a torrid time as he was first to pretty much everything, and always came away with the ball.

Lewis having so little to do with his hands, that he ended the game sporting open toed boots that are a must for all sweeper keepers.

James going from the sublime (his through ball) to the ridiculous in the space of five minutes, as he didn’t even come close to troubling the corner flag with a shot from the right.  The most disappointing thing was that the ref didn’t give a five metre line-out.

Tony weeping on the side line as he watched all the chances that went begging, or the balls that those playing in the number nine position couldn’t quite get on the end of.

Scott being a true gentleman by giving up his shirt, and in doing so depriving us of the amusement of watching Bobby harangue the ref in an XXL shirt.

Luke receiving a lecture from H about discipline after he kicked the ball way in frustration having been flagged offside for the umpteenth time, despite being in a perfect position on the left to gaze lovingly into the linesman’s eyes – perhaps it wasn’t his flag he was raising.

Captain Foggy and Vice-Vice-Captain Blakey (or was it Bublé?) being stopped dead in their tracks: the first by his considerably bigger opposing captain, and the second by a trip following a mazy run from defence.  Both incidences were greeted with much joy and amusement by the adoring fans, and fortunately one of them must have been composed enough to have the camera rolling:

There is almost certainly a lot of stuff I’ve missed, and although it could be argued that we should have shown more of a killer instinct, and certainly that we will need to be far more clinical in the weeks to come, it was actually refreshing to be able to relax and enjoy the game without the pressure of the final result being in any doubt.

The next round will be an away trip to either Prettygate (Colchester) or Latchingdon (Chelmsford) and is certain to be a much tougher game, but with the same amount of belief, team spirit and support there is no reason we can’t get even further in this competition.

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 30^th October @ Home v Mossops.