Wheatleys 0 - 4 Oaks Athletic (Essex Junior Cup 2nd Round)

This is a game that would have left statos scratching their heads, as there is no way you could have arrived at a 4-0 win to the Oaks based on possession and territory. The Oaks were below par with the ball, and although conditions could be used as an excuse (if it hadn't been so muddy the ball would have easily rolled unassisted from one end of the pitch to the other), the truth is that our opponents were far superior, on the day, with the ball at feet. The difference was that the Oaks were colossal in defence, and took their chances - when they arrived - to exploit the frailties of Wheatley's immobile keeper. If reaching the second round of the Essex Junior Cup is a novelty, reaching the third round (and last 32) is possibly a first, and just adds a little more gloss to what has been a truly remarkable run.

Once Eye-Ball had safely lead the troops to Eastwood Park, Milesy named his starting eleven, and demonstrated his man management skills by conforming to the cup rules of allocating numbers based on positions without upsetting any of the more sensitive members of the squad. We were all pleased (Scott and Dale were over the moon) to welcome Connor, who had already impressed in a pre-season friendly, and was now making his full debut in goal having signed for an undisclosed fee during the week. A familiar face also returned to the subs bench, as Parker made a welcome return.

ppppppppppppppppConnor

Eye-BallppppppRobppppNikippppDeano (c)

NathanppppppBunnypppppTapsellppppppScott

ppppppppppppRyanppppDale

subs: Parker, Milly, Al, Browne, Harry

The contour of the pitch was not the only thing making it an up hill struggle for the Oaks in the first half, as they failed to keep hold of the ball and were camped in their own half for most of the opening half an hour. Still, this gave Connor the opportunity to show us what a fine young keeper he is. Although picking up a back pass, in order to have to make a fine save from six yards, is going a bit far. As well as showing great handling and agility, Connor's booming kicks were the main route out of our own half in the opening exchanges. Despite their dominance, Wheatleys were finding the Oaks to be a hard nut to crack and they couldn't make the break-through.

Probably the Oaks biggest strength is that they have so many weapons in their goal-scoring arsenal, and for every loaded gun there is a skilled marksman to pull the trigger: Nathan and Rob combining from throw-ins; Tapsell burying Ryan's fantastic deliveries; H's runs in behind the defence that are so expertly picked out by any number of our midfielders. Now with Dale in the squad, we've added our very own loose cannon to the mix. He may appear pretty harmless, but without any warning he can go off to devastating effect. To translate, I'm referring to his ability to make something out of nothing, which he very nearly did in this game when he volleyed a cross from the edge of the area that I can confirm was goal bound before giving some unfortunate defender mild concussion.

It may well have been from the resulting corner that the Oaks took the lead. Maybe Tapsell is losing some of his fiery glow, as despite the insensitive cries of, "Pick up the Ginger", nobody did, and he was left to head home Ryan's corner at the back post (de ja vu or what!). The number of goals Tapsell scores in this way is simply ridiculous: that's four so far already this season, and long may it continue: 0-1.

Nick may have found it hard to cement his place in the Oaks side, but nobody could argue his position as the number one spot kick exponent, with Sharpy being his self appointed deputy. I don't think we have actually discussed who would take penalties now that these options are unavailable, but Scott bravely stepped up when a penalty was awarded to the Oaks. I have to admit I have no idea what for, but I believe Bunny may have been infringed. Scott probably wishes we'd all missed his attempt from 12 yards, which was dragged wide, but all his team mates encouraged him to keep his head up as we still had a lead to defend.

The beauty of the Essex Cup this year is that they are trialling the idea of 5 rolling subs, which is great for a big squad like the Oaks. Steve made his first change at half time when he replaced Ryan with H. You can't knock the enthusiasm of youth, but perhaps Milesy needs to give more careful instructions to these impressionable souls. With the Oaks now attacking down the slope, shooting from distance could be a good tactic, although having a pop direct from the kick-off probably wasn't what he had in mind. To give H some credit, his effort was well weighted but lack direction.

It took a while for the Oaks to extend their lead, again against the run of play. With Dale on the pitch you never know what might happened, and he caught Wheatleys' number 1 off guard as he made room for a shot inside the area and fired low under the keeper's body: 0-2.

With Wheatleys continuing to dominate possession, this second goal must have felt like saving up all your pocket money for a year, to then find the toy shop has sold the last Power Ranger toy to the spoilt brat in front of you in the queue (we do have a lot of youngsters in the squad now, so I'm trying to keep the references relevant). If that wasn't bad enough, Dale then preceded to taunt the opposition with the aforementioned Power Ranger as he collected a pass from Tapsell and fired it high over the keeper's head and into the net from 25 yards: 0-3.

Despite not being overly bothered whether or not we won this game, I think Milesy had held off making too many changes up to this point more from a fear of extra time keeping him out in the cold for longer than was necessary. This third goal therefore gave him the breathing space to make wholesale changes, with Parker, Milly, Browne, Al and Ryan all making second half appearances while Eye-Ball, Niki, Deano, Bunny, Tapsell and Scott all spent some time watching from the sidelines.


Milesy considers drastic measures to avoid extra time

I imagine this game wasn't that enjoyable for Harry, as much like the first half the defenders were seeing a lot more of the ball than he was. However, he worked his socks off to give us an outlet, and despite not getting a goal for his hard work, I've accepted the petition for him to be credited with an assist for the part he played in the fourth and final Oaks goal.

The Oaks played some good football to move the ball out of the defence down the left, and Ryan picked up the ball some 40 yards from goal out on the left. He spotted H's run into the box, and played what he described as "a screamer" - but I'll call a floated cross field pass - into the opposition box. With the keeper anticipating that H's despairing dive to make some sort of contact with the ball would be successful, he was made to look very silly as it eluding H, bounced over him and nestled in the far corner. If the keeper had been sporting a grey beard, he would have resembled a well known festive figure who will definitely not be visiting the Kenyon household this year: 0-4.

Although the game may have finished soon after this, the most incredible revelation of the day was still to come. There were two games taking place on Eastwood Park, with all four teams sharing one large changing room that only had three showers. Three showers between approximately 50 muddy footballers. If Niki, Rob or Eye-Ball had any concerns about missing the fine Ship sandwiches they needn't have worried, as they had the luxury of each having their own personal (very warm) shower. Just to prove that the soap-dodging epidemic is not just confined to the Oaks Athletic.

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 4th November @ Home v Brema United - 1030 KO