Dean's Easy Three Step Guide to a Good Night Out

Step 1: Get as much booze as you can, then drink it all at once!

Step 2: Get your friends to support you while you pose for a photo, holding aloft yet another drink!

Step 3: Get carried/dragged away from the bar while trying to punch kind strangers who offer to help you get back to the hotel. At the hotel, empty your guts all over the bathroom, but still have time for a handshake celebrating a good night out.

Seriously though kids, doing the "Dentist's chair" is not big or clever and certainly no good for your body, as Parker found out during the nightwatch where he was scooping sick from Dean's mouth so that he didn't choke to death. Drink in moderation.

DEANO ! DEANO ! DEANO !

Busolona 2 Vs Oaks Athletic 5

We started this game in the same way as many of our previous matches, by going a goal down. Jacko got us back into the game with a decent free kick, which one of the Busolona players flicked into the net over his Keeper's head. At this point in the first half, I had to be carried off the pitch as my knee gave way under my weight and I have to say, initially the pain was intense and at that time I did ask for an ambulance. However, by the time they arrived, the pain had subsided a bit (provided I didn't move the knee) and I suppose that in hindsight, someone could have driven me to the hospital. But then on the other hand, I thought 'F*** it, I must have paid for that ride to the hospital a thousand times over." Anyway, I was watching from the sideline while I was waiting for the ambulance and we went 2-1 up. Only to concede another about a minute after. At 2-2 I limped over to the ambulance with the paramedics, and I got a text later saying that we won 5-2. Marvellous. I would be even more pissed off if we had lost that one!

Scorers:

OG (from Jacko's free kick)
Nathan
Jamie
Sharpy 2

Cup Match, Away in Romford somewhere next Sunday 18th Nov, Meet at the Oaks at 09.15am.

Good Luck Lads!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH !

That's right I'm injured again. Torn knee ligaments, again. Only this time the pain increased by a factor of ten and I can't f***ing walk.

I landed on my right foot after attempting to challenge for a header and it felt like my Femur (top leg bone) just rattled around on top of my Tib. + Fib. in my knee until something snapped. Of course, this all happened in a fraction of a second, but that was the single most painful second of my life.

It's kind of like my body had to go one better than Dean (Pulled Groin) and Alex (Two In-growing Big-Toe nails). That's failing to mention our long termers, Dan (metal leg) and Stuart (knee ligaments). All I can say to Stuart is, make sure that you are 100% ready to come back before you do.

Thank the Lord ! We're through to the next round !

All the devil-worshipping has finally paid off lads! Our opponents in the first round of the County Cup have withdrawn from the match allowing us to go through on a bye. To explain, we were drawn against a church team for Ilford which wouldn't play the game at 10.30am on a sunday. Milesy stated to me (when he'd finished laughing down the phone) that they "obviously haven't been praying enough!"

Now that's two cups that we're still in at the moment, and........it's November.

Le Deportivo Thurrock 2 Vs Oaks Athletic 4

This wasn't the best standard of football that we've seen from our team this season, but it was a result that gave us three points, and those are what count at the end of the day.
Deportivo went one-nil up after a number of cock-ups across the pitch let their forward in throught the back four. Jacko and Sharpy are working wonders at the moment by driving defences barmy and this game was no exception. They combined to score the first. Jacko crossed from the left and Sharpy headed the ball up and over the Keeper into the top corner. Sharpy went on to get another two and also unwittingly set Deano up for a simple finish (He'd been watching Gollum shoot in the first half). Deportivo got another one but it proved to be too late on in the game to make a real difference to their motivation.

Special Message to the lads: Well done for keeping up with the subs money, we'll have the pitch fees in the bank soon, and (assuming there is money leftover) we can spend the rest on beer! Woohoo!

Sunday 11th November: Belhus Park 09.45 meet / 10.30 k.o.

League Cup: Oaks Athletic 3 Vs Jack's Lads 0

This game was over two weeks ago now, so bare with me as I dig deep into my memory banks !!! As I recall, it was Robin who netted twice with headers and I can't remember who got the other goal (help us out lads and I'll correct it!). We managed our team well and were organised at the back. Sure, they had chances but nothing that gave Parker too much trouble. Parker did however receive quite a nasty knock in a 50/50 challenge AND SHOULD HAVE DEFINITELY GOT IT CHECKED OUT AT THE HOSPITAL. Those lumps on his leg are simply not normal and require some form of medical attention.

Gollum: That was a shot and not a cross to Robin, wasn't it?

Anyway, through to the next round of the cup !