Linford Wanderers 0 – 4 Oaks Athletic

pppppppppppppppppScott (GK)

ppAlex (RB) Rob (CB) Deano (CB) Aaron (LB)

Jordan (RM) Gollum (CM) Micky (CM) Eye-Ball (LM)

pppppppppppNathan (CF) (c) Nick (CF)

Subs: Jimmy, Sharpy

Watchers: Parker, Tyrone

Do not adjust your monitors; the Oaks really did return to winning ways and with our first choice left winger playing in goal. With both Ty and Parker on official watching duties, it was a welcome surprise to discover that Scott used to play regularly in goal, and he showed no signs of rust as he put in a solid performance and kept a clean sheet to boot.

Games between the Oaks and Linford Wanderers tend to be close, with 3 of the last 4 being decided by a single goal. This just goes to show what a vast improvement this performance from the Oaks was, as Linford were made to look a far inferior side.

The game got off to a slow start, with neither team really taking control. However, the Oaks soon got into their stride and looked to play the ball to feet, and the determination to experience a win again after 3 straight defeats was evident from the movement and noise from those in blue and black (away strip).

The first chance to score, for the second week running, feel to Eye-Ball, who was relishing the chance to bomb forward from his position on the left wing. As Nick broke down the right, Eye-Ball raced through the middle into the penalty area. Nick then put in a superb cross at waist height which Eye-Ball threw a left foot at, but he couldn’t direct the ball on target.

Having almost set up the first goal, Nick then had a great chance to give the Oaks the lead himself. When the ball broke to him following a throw in, his first time effort hit the post, and rebounded behind off the goal keepers face.

The Oaks had looked very solid at the back, with none of the problems of the previous weeks being evident. Even when Linford did eventually break through Deano was on hand to snuff out the danger with a fine sliding tackle.

With Gollum doing the donkey work in front of the back four, Mikey was given licence to link up with the wingers and front men, and was at the heart of most of the good things created going forward. One such move saw Mikey linking up with Eye-Ball down the left, with a series of close passes along with good movement and even a cheeky back heel from Eye-Ball leading to the Oaks winning a corner. Nathan swung in the corner, and Ty would have been overjoyed to have seen Alex gambling at the back post to steer the ball home from close range: 0-1.

The Oaks maintained their one goal advantage going into half time, despite a wobbly last 10 minutes when we repeatedly gave up possession and let Linford Wanderers have too much time and space on the ball.

The half time team talk was mainly positive, with Milesy re-iterating the importance of getting a second goal to kill off Linford’s challenge.

The second half performance was one of the best from an Oaks side in some time, as we totally dominated the opposition. Eye-Ball’s pre-match banana (and instructions to stay wide when we had possession) seemed to be paying dividends as he ran the Linford fullback ragged. Although I have been told not to be modest about my performance, it is worth pointing out that the Linford fullback was one of the worst we have seen, so just imagine what would have happened if we had a proper winger out on the left. However, the confident and positive approach adopted by Eye-Ball seemed to spread throughout the team, and whereas some weeks we are accused of being too quiet and watchful, the ball was being demanded from all areas.

With the front two being well marshalled by the Linford centre backs, Eye-Ball was the unlikely best attacking option, and he repaid Nick’s favour from the first half by putting the big man through only for the keeper to make a good save with his legs.

With the score at 1-0, Linford were still hopeful of getting back into the game. But these hopes were shattered when, out of nothing, Eye-Ball won possession in midfield and headed towards the penalty area. He held off the opposition challenge before responding to Nathan’s cries with a defence splitting pass to which Nathan supplied his trademark finish into the far corner from the right: 0-2.

This goal seemed to knock the stuffing out of Linford, whilst giving the Oaks renewed energy, and Sharpy – who came on for a run out with twenty minutes remaining – claimed the assist as a scramble in the area saw the ball finally poked home by Mikey with the aid of a deflection. Some tried to claim this should go down as an own goal, but as the original effort was on target the dubious goals committee awarded Mikey his second goal of the season: 0-3.

The emphasis now was on keeping a clean sheet, not only because we hadn’t managed this all season but also because we didn’t want to give Linford any reason to believe they were anything but dead and buried. Defensively we had looked at total ease, with some even comparing Rob to a hippo. Not, I hasten to add, that these comparisons were connected to size or a craving for small plastic balls, but rather that the muddier it is the better he seems to perform. With Deano, Alex and Aaron also putting in assured performances Linford were unable to create much. When they did get a shot on goal Scott was more than equal to it, as he dived to his left to palm one fierce drive around the post and tipped a speculative effort from 35 yards onto the bar. Deano then reacted quickest to clear the danger.

Now there aren’t many similarities between Sharpy and Peter Crouch (he doesn’t have his height or good looks for a start), but just like Crouchy does with England, Sharpy always seems to pop up with a goal for the Oaks. This game was no exception when, rather than attempt to play the ball in himself, Eye-ball played the ball down the line to Nathan who, in acres of space, planted the ball right onto Sharpy’s head to leave him the simple task of beating the stranded keeper: 0-4.

Despite some late unsavouries thanks to the stupidity of Linford’s regular hot-head (which isn’t an affliction suffered by any of the Oaks players of course), this was a really enjoyable game for the Oaks, not to mention a great result. We have a week off next week as Deano leads a band of merry men to Newcastle to celebrate his 30th (sorry 21st) birthday.

I’d suggest they avoid the Pig and Whistle, but then you can almost guarantee they will end up there:

http://www.beerintheevening.com/pubs/s/12/1252/Pig_and_Whistle/Newcastle

See you all in two weeks.

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 28th November Away @ Lakeside v AFC Staggs

Oaks Athletic 1 - 3 Springhouse

The considerable annual turnover of teams in the Thurrock Sunday League means that half the teams in divisions 2A, 2B and 3 are either completely out of their depth, or punching well below their weight. Kaktus are an example of the former; due to two teams folding, last season they effectively finished second from bottom of division three, with just one win and a goal difference of minus 50. Despite this they were promoted to 2B to make room for all the new teams or teams who had folded and reformed with a new name. So far this season they’ve lost 3 of their 4 games, and twice been thumped 9-1. The Oaks opponents, Springhouse, are just one of the many examples of the latter. A team who were playing in the Premier division a few years ago under a different name, and spent last year in the 1st division of the Romford League. So given the league’s policy of putting teams who they consider are too good for the third division into one of the two 2nd divisions (even if they were playing in the Premiership the year before), and combining this with teams relegated from division 1 and promoted from division 3 it becomes clear that there will be very few easy games (discounting the unfortunate Kaktus).

Highlighting this situation is important, as it means that more weight should be given to the performance than the result. Regardless of the ultimate result being the same as the previous two weeks (a defeat), the performance from the Oaks this week was a vast improvement with us playing at the level we should do every week.

In a hope to address the defensive issues of the past few weeks, Milesy changed the look of the side, with Deano deployed in a sweeper role and Rob moving into the five man midfield to give Mikey more opportunity to support Nick up top. With Scott returning, and Alex coming back into the side we had extra strength in both attack and defence:

pppppppppppppppppTyrone (GK)

ppppppppppppDeano (CB)

Eye-Ball (RB)pppppppppppppppMilly (CB) Alex (LB)

ppppppppppppppGollum (CM)

Nathan (RM) (c)pppppppppRob(CM)ppppppppScott (LM)
ppppppppppppppMikey(CM)

pppppppppppppppppppNick (CF)

Subs: Parker, Aaron, Aaron (2)

The Oaks started the game brightly, and showed that they were determined to make amends for the lacklustre performances the two previous weeks. Every ball was competed for, and we did a great job of disrupting the opposition’s flow. We even played some football of our own, and should have taken the lead when Eye-Ball intercepted a pass inside the opposition half, and passed the ball to Mikey who expertly played the ball behind the defence to meet the continued run of Eye-Ball. Now Eye-ball being clear through on goal is about as unlikely as Parker coming home to find the Brazilian women’s beach volleyball team lying in wait for him. Although these two things are very different, Eye-Ball’s reaction was the same as Parker’s would be probably be. Panic, decide you’re not up for the job, and get someone else to finish the job. Unfortunately passing the ball across goal for Nick to tap into an empty net proved to be a mistake, as the referee claimed Nick had benefited from being in an offside position when the ball was originally played through. Despite some debate about the offside rule (which I think centred around Nick’s resemblance to Cristiano Ronaldo) the goal was ruled out, and the chance for the Oaks to take the lead – and for Eye-Ball to open his scoring account for the Oaks – was squandered.

To make matters worse, another bad decision from Eye-Ball soon after lead to Springhouse taking an unexpected lead. Caught in two minds between staying goal side and running with his man, or stepping up to play him offside, the result was that neither was done successfully and the Springhouse winger produced a neat finished when clean through on goal: 0-1.

The Oaks new system can’t be blamed for this, and was actually working very well with every man knowing the plan and executing it as intended.

The Oaks reacted well to going a goal down, and although no obvious goal scoring opportunities spring to mind from the first half, we continued to battle hard, and all were pleased with the performance in the first half.

There was no need to change anything at half time, and although we continued to play well, we went a further goal behind when a rare error form Ty saw a well struck shot slip through his raised hands and trickle agonisingly into the net: 0-2.

Not even going two goals down could dampen the Oaks spirit, and the fact that Springhouse started arguing amongst themselves, despite being two goals up, was a testament to the disruptive effect we were having on their game. Our determination was rewarded when Alex sent in a trademark long free kick into the box, which Springhouse watched sail apparently harmlessly over their heads (see it’s not just us Ty!). However, Nathan had taken a gamble and chased in to poke the bouncing ball past the keeper with the tip of his stud: 1-2.

Unfortunately Springhouse’s two goal lead was restored as quickly as it had been lost, thanks in part to some foul play from the opposition skipper who called “Keeper’s ball” as the ball was swung into the box from a free kick. However, instead of seeing Ty race out to claim the ball, all we saw was the back of the offending player as he raced in unchallenged to steer the ball home: 1-3.

The spirit we continued to show was outstanding, and the determination to challenge for every ball was commendable. It was to be expected that we would get caught on the break, as we pushed forward in an attempt to reduce the deficit, and although everyone dug deep to get back and defend, goal saving challenges from Scott, Nathan and Mikey stand out in the mind. Confidence also continued to be high with Parker even executing a Cruyff turn inside our own penalty area.

The deficit should have been reduced to one goal when Nathan broke down the right and smashed the ball home from an impossible angle, but the linesman decided to give a dubious offside. The decision was possibly influenced by the fact that the opposition had felt aggrieved when, just minutes earlier, Milesy received instructions from the fourth official, via his mobile, to give an offside against Springhouse.

The two negative points were injuries to both Ty and Deano. Ty damaged his shoulder, which meant he missed his first minutes of football for the Oaks since joining at the start of last season. The injury is likely to keep him out for a few weeks which is a real blow. Parker showed himself to be an able substitute though as he pulled off a fine save from a fierce volley, but I’m sure he is wishing Ty a speedy recovery more than anyone. Deano also went off with a “bum” injury, but I’m sure he’ll be ready to go again next week.

Despite some late unsavoury scenes there were no further goals to report, and although all were happy with the performance who knows what the Oaks may have got from this game if it hadn’t been for three avoidable goals. Still, if we play like this against our old rivals Linford Wanderers next week, we’ll have a great chance of returning to winning ways.

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 14 November Away v Linford Wanderers @ Corringham Rec - 1030 ko

Oaks Athletic 2 – 6 Wilburn Wanderers (League Cup)

Despite being only 2-0 down at half-time, it was another lacklustre first half that sewed the seed for an early exit from this cup competition for the Oaks. Many people will tell you that preparation is key, and turning up at Belhus Park to find out we are actually playing at Blackshots – and that we are the home side and had to put up the nets – probably isn’t in the coaching manual. As a result we started the game cold, and 10 minutes late.

With Sharpy on emergency duty only, and no obvious replacement without weakening the side in other areas, Milesy went for a 4-4-1-1 formation with Nathan supporting lone striker Nick.

The Oaks starting eleven looked as follows:

pppppppppppppppppTyrone (GK)


ppDeano (RB) Rob (CB) Milly (CB) Eye-Ball (LB)


Jordan (RM) Gollum (CM) Mikey (CM) Aaron(2) (LM)

pppppppppppNathan (RM) (c)


pppppppppppppppppppNick (CF)

Subs: Parker, Jimmy, Aaron, Sharpy, Aaron (2), Alex

It could be argued that the Oaks had an excuse for being slow out of the blocks, but the reality was that they were knocked onto the ropes by a young and energetic Wilburn side who were doing what we should have been: moving into space and demanding the ball, and giving the Oaks players no time on the ball. As a result, without the ball we were chasing shadows, and when we had it panic set in and possession was given away far too easily.

Despite this the opening goal came from a set piece, which highlighted the uncertainty about how we set up defensively. It was decided at half time that Rob would call the line in open play, but that this would be Ty’s job from set-pieces. However, half time was too late to help with this set piece, as keeper and centre back both attempted to marshal their confused troops. Amongst the confusion the free kick was floated in, Ty came and missed, and the ball bounced off Rob and into the net: 0-1.

Things really didn’t get any better in the first half, with many players being guilty of ball watching, including your esteemed match reporter who found himself in a two on one situation and managed to play both the opposition players onside. Needless to say the striker was gifted a clean run on goal and finished neatly over the stranded Ty: 0-2.

Half time couldn’t have come soon enough for the Oaks, and the riot act was duly read. Two changes were made with Jimmy and Alex replacing Jordan and Aaron (2), who had acquitted himself well in his first start and even had one of the best chances to score, but could only head wide when in a good position at the back post. Alex slotted in at left back with Eye-Ball moving up to the wing, and Jimmy came in on the right wing.

The attitude was much better in the second half, and the majority of the game was played in Wilburn’s half. However, they showed themselves to be as good in defence as we had allowed them to look in attack in the first half. One of the battles of the match was between Nick and the Wilburn captain. Both would definitely be classed as heavy weights in footballing terms, and Nick struggled to get the upper hand on his opposite number.

The other major battle was between the Oaks players and the referee, who was the same man in black who had been blamed for denying the Oaks a point a week ago. Unfortunately he suggested that rather than last week being a one-off poor performance, the problem was terminal and this week was another shocker. Off-side flags were ignored (which made Sharpy as happy as larry), good shouts for penalties against Mikey and two against Nick were ignored, and he basically gave the opposition free licence to kick our striker into next week without punishment. To make matters worse he showed no hesitation in awarding Wilburn a soft penalty after Jimmy made minimal contact with their man: 0-3.

Three nil became four when the Oaks were once again caught out playing to high up the pitch and Ty was again greeted with the far too familiar sight of an opposition player bearing down on him unchallenged. The odds were obviously against him and Wilburn made no mistake: 0-4.

By this time the Oaks seemed to have got their belief back, and despite the mountain now being insurmountable some pride was restored when the Oaks scored following the best move of the match. Jimmy, Nick and Mikey combined on the edge of the area, with Mikey chipping an excellent ball through to Nathan who showed good composure to slot home past the helpless Wilburn keeper: 1-4.

Unfortunately the 4 goal cushion was quickly restored thanks to a superb through ball from Jimmy. This sentence isn’t misprinted, but I should clarify that it was a superb through ball for the opposition rather than the Oaks. This time the Oaks back four can be excused for being caught out, but then you could argue that the high line leaves no margin for error. Deano – who had a great game and epitomised the passion and commitment that is expected of all who pull on the red and black – valiantly gave chase and was desperately unlucky to see the ball bounce into the net off the inside of the post following his last ditch ball winning tackle. 1-5.

The Oaks did pull another goal back when a low corner from Nathan was converted from close range by Nick, but we conceded again when Wilburn broke again, and the substitute headed home from what looked suspiciously like an offside position.

Despite the one sided score line, the story could have been very different if it hadn’t been for the young Wilburn keeper, who had the game of his life. He denied Mikey, who looked to have slotted the ball in at the near post only for a strong hand to come to Wilburn’s rescue. He also denied Parker who shot firmly from the right, and was unlucky not to score his first goal of the season. Add to these saves the unrewarded penalties and it could have been a much closer game.

For a team that prides itself on defence we have conceded an awful lot of soft goals of late. This has been discussed at length, and although we know what the problem is with playing the offside trap, the same mistakes are still being made. Next week the manager will try something different with Deano playing in a sweeper role, and it is important that all the team (and the supporters for that matter) know what the plan is so encouragement and advice can be given coherently and consistently. The spirit and support between the players in the second half was great to see, and if we all get behind each other we won’t have many days like this.

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 7th November v Springhouse @ Blackshots (home) 10:30 K.O.

Rec Rovers 2 -1 Oaks Athletic

The Oaks curse struck again as, for the countless time, a battling win against one of the better sides in the league was followed by a disappointing defeat against one of the worst. We know that the Oaks are notoriously slow starters, but a first half in which we didn’t leave the changing room, let alone get out of the blocks, cost us the game against a Rec Rovers side who made up for what they lacked in skill with determination and spirit.

The manager was forced to make changes to last week’s team, with Scott not available and Sharpy carrying a hamstring injury. He did come on in second half in an attempt to give us a much needed boost, but unfortunately the hamstring didn’t hold and it looks like a bit of a lay-off is required for our star striker.

pppppppppppppppppTyrone (GK)

ppJimmy (RB) Rob (CB) Milly (CB) Deano (LB)

Nathan (RM) (c) Gollum (CM) Jordan (CM) Eye-Ball (LM)

ppppppppppppppMikey (CF) Nick (CF)

Subs: Parker, Sharpy, Aaron, Aaron (2)

The less said about the first 45 minutes the better. We just didn’t function as a team; the ball was given away too easily, the opposition were often first to the ball, and allowed too much time and space when in possession, and good opportunities were wasted due to a lack of composure in the final third.

Still, despite all this Rec didn’t offer much of a threat to our goal, but still took the league when the Oaks were once again caught out playing a high defensive line. All it took was a hopefully ball over the top, and the rest of the story writes itself: 1-0.

No one would argue that it’s important to keep the opposition a safe distance from goal, but playing the offside trap in the Sunday league is always a risky business, especially when condensing the play means that, if possession is lost, the opposition are suddenly in an attacking position with forward and midfield players up on our last line of defence. Defending has always been one of our strengths, and if we keep goal side we won’t get beaten often. Imagine if you were an opposition striker; would you rather Rob was trying to play you offside or have him charging in from behind you as you’re about to collect the ball?

Going a goal down wasn’t enough to galvanise the Oaks, and 1-0 was soon 2-0 when Gollum’s clumsy tackle felled a Rec player in the box. Despite Ty’s best efforts to get the penalty spot moved to somewhere near the centre of the goal (it’s painted on Ty!), the penalty was despatched under Ty’s ample frame and into the net: 2-0.

Now it wasn’t all bad, and the Oaks did create some good chances to score, but were unfortunate to find the Rec keeper on top form. Nathan showed great athleticism and skill to sweetly strike an overhead kick from Eye-Ball’s cross, that went straight at the keeper. Nathan also had another shot saved at the near post following a surging run into the box. Jimmy also had a good effort from range after creating space for himself on the left. We also had a good shout for a penalty turned down when Mikey B was tripped whilst attempting a shot.

Milesy made it clear what he felt of our performance at half-time, and it was no more than we deserved. One change was made at half-time with Sharpy replacing Jimmy and Mikey moving back into the midfield. The rollicking seemed to do the trick, and much of the second half was spent in Rec’s half. Right from the first minute, when Jordan saw a rasping shot from range well saved, it was clear that the second half was going to be a totally different game. The one chance Rec had to kill of the game was a fortuitous one, as Milly’s clearance ricocheted off the opposition player’s face and caught us on the back foot. Fortunately the forward’s shot hit the cross-bar the deflected to safety.

The deficit was halved when Nathan (who actually predicted a goal would be scored) hurled on of his torpedoes into the box where it was flicked on at the front post by Rob, and Deano was on hand to poke the ball home via his right moob. 2:1.

The Oaks continued to pile on the pressure, and chance after chance came and went. The pick of the bunch included Aaron – who had made a real impact after coming on for Sharpy – putting in a great low cross which found Nathan with acres of space at the back post. Unfortunately he didn’t know that he had time to get the ball under control, and his first time effort spooned wide. Nicky also had a good header from Nathan’s corner cleared off the line, and had two good shouts for a penalty ignored.

As if the referee wasn’t unpopular enough already, he was well and truly struck off the Christmas card list when his decision to disallow a goal from Nathan’s long throw basically settled the game. All the Oaks players in the box were convinced the keeper had touched the ball as it flew over his head into the net, but the ref was convinced otherwise, and so the goal was not given. Little did we know that the paparazzi were on hand to capture the Oaks player’s reaction to this decision (it looks like Gollum was the ring leader to me).



So although the performance in the second half was much better, and we should have at least picked up a point, we can’t blame the referee for our poor show in the first half and will need to play much better if we want to compete in this league as we know we can. Despite giving us constant ear ache I should mention that Ty had a very good game, and totally dominated his area. He sets himself high standards, and would have been unhappy at not saving the penalty having guessed the right way, but he should be very pleased with the rest of the game.

Next week we have a cup game, which will be another challenge which hopefully we will rise to.

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 31st October away @ Belhus Park v Wilburn Wanderers – 10:30KO

Oaks Athletic 2 - 1 Little Thurrock Dynamos

The Oaks reacted to last week’s defeat by notching up their second victory of the season in a hard fought battle against a strong LTD side. On a Sunny Autumn morning at Blackshots (where they had still neglected to cut the grass on the pitch to an acceptable length) Milesy once again had a large squad to choose from, and decided on the following starting eleven:

pppppppppppppppppTyrone (GK)

ppJimmy (RB) Deano (CB) Rob (CB) Parker (LB)

Nathan (RM) (c) Gollum (CM) Mikey (CM) Scott (LM)

pppppppppppNick (CF)ppppppSharpy (CF)

Subs: Eye-Ball, Jordan, Aaron, Ashley, Aaron (2)

The Oaks made a much better start than they have in recent weeks, and didn’t actually concede within the first minute. The opening 15 minutes was a tight affair, with neither side creating any clear cut chances. However, this doesn’t mean our physical partnership of Nick and Sharpy wasn’t causing the opposition problems, with Nick especially holding the ball up well and trying to bring others into play. He might be well advised not to wear the shirt with “Kick Me!” emblazoned on the back next week as the opposition seemed to think this was an acceptable (yet ineffective) tactic for trying to dispossess him.

LTD showed on a number of occasions that they had the ability to break at pace, however the Oaks offside trap was working well, and when they did break away it came to nothing. The Oaks had chances of their own, with Mikey seeing a sweetly hit volley deflected just over the bar, and a good free kick from Parker causing all sorts of problems for the LTD defence.

The Oaks were the first to break the deadlock when Sharpy ran on to a ball into the box, and was clumsily felled by the LTD defender. Sharpy picked himself up to firmly hit the penalty kick low to the keeper’s right and give the Oaks the lead: 1-0. Having added to his goal tally for the season, Sharpy’s hamstring decided its work was done, and Sharpy had to be replaced by Jordan, with Mikey moving upfront.

The lead was soon doubled in comical fashion as Nick, walking back from an offside position, raised his hands to signal he wouldn’t attempt to play the ball that was heading in his direction. No whistle was sounded, but LTD thought play had stopped, allowing Nathan to run onto the unattended ball and coolly slot past the out of position keeper: 2-0.

This second goal was a real bonus, as LTD were looking good defensively, with their keeper coping well with Nathan’s long throw in, and more of the play being conducted in the Oak’s half. However, with a two goal cushion we had given ourselves a great chance of getting something from the game.

Unfortunately the lead was halved before the interval when the LTD winger went to ground inside the box whilst being shepherded away from the goal by Deano. Those who criticised Deano for his rashness, when there was minimal danger, were soon turning their attentions to the referee as the LTD player nobly admitted that he had tripped over his own feet. However, the penalty stood, with the winger soon reverting to mere peasant as he stepped up to stroke the ball into the net: 2-1.

Milesy was thoroughly pleased with the first half performance; we were in the lead and had shown that the apparent defensive frailties suggested from the week before were simply a blip. Just the one change was made at half time with Parker being replaced by Eye­-Ball, which was no reflection on what had been a fine performance, but with a lead to protect the gaffer probably felt Parker’s creativity and attacking flair would be wasted and a more defensively minded primitive full back was required.

As predicted LTD threw everything at the Oaks goal in the second half, but all was repelled with every ball being fought for, and every man doing his bit. With such a slim margin between victory and defeat, the defence had to stick to their first job, and the full backs in particular couldn’t afford to get forward. This made life especially difficult for the wingers, but we are fortunate to have two young lads in Nathan and Scott who were prepared to work their socks off to get forward and support the strikers when we had possession, but also to get back and defend when we didn’t. Then in the middle Jordan and Gollum were competing for every ball, with Gollum in particular having his best game of the season; I don’t know how he does it, but he seemed to be everywhere and was a constant thorn in the oppositions’ side.

The back four were also working well as a unit to repel all that LTD could throw at them, and when they did get in behind Ty was on hand to smoother the ball, or pull off a superb one handed reaction save. The one blemish would be mistaking the LTD player’s face for the ball when, in the heat of the moment Ty reacted following a 50:50 challenge where he got to the ball first. Suprisingly the soft “baby’s bottom” like feel of Ty’s mittens weren’t appreciated by the opposition player – or the referee – but fortunately the situation was pacified before handbags were drawn.

So with 20 minutes to go, and the score still at 2-1 to the Oaks, it was time for another of those game defining moments. I should warn you that I’m not going to apologise for the self-indulgent and biased account of what happened next.

As a mediocre Thurrock League “footballer” (note the inverted comma) - whose primary contribution in most games is to make life unpleasant for annoying, skilful, young wingers, stand on the half way line for corners, and head the ball onto the running track – I often wonder if, and how, I could ever experience the feeling of performing a single act for which I would be given the credit for winning the match, and be hailed a hero by my fellow team-mates. Let’s be honest, it’s unlikely to ever be for scoring a screamer from 30 yards in the dying seconds or beating three men before rounding the keeper and sliding the ball home. Perhaps more likely would be taking the ball in the face from point blank range on the goal line, or boring the opposition into submission by making them sit through a slideshow of my recent band camp exploits. I never thought that when my moment came, leading to being greeted by a chorus of cheers on entering the changing room, that it would be for receiving a straight red!

I didn’t have much time to think as the LTD forward raced clear through the centre, and I darted across from my left back position, but what I did know was that I was the only one who could intervene to prevent him (and his team mate who was next in line) from becoming odds on favourites to potentially snatch at least two points from the Oaks. I also thought I might have a chance of making a clean tackle and winning the ball. Whilst the first thought was correct, the second was more wishful thinking, and as I slid in the ball was poked forward leaving just the player as the optional target. Having now been reminded what the first thought was, optional was erased, the target was hit and went crashing to the ground. The ball rolled harmlessly into Ty’s hands, and the whistle was blown.

Now the referee had shown himself capable on more than one occasion of getting the simplest decisions wrong, but not even he could fail to deduce that, as the last man who had prevented an obvious goal scoring opportunity, I had to go. I’ve never even been booked before, so Deano’s advice on how to receive your marching orders whilst keeping your dignity in tact was very welcome (although I did choose to keep my shirt on).

I must confess to feeling quite embarrassed at the reaction of my team mates and managers as, rather than the red card being seen as a punishment for serious foul play, it was hailed as a reward for a courageous act. Apparently I had “taken one for the team”.

Now obviously for this act to qualify under the “match winning” category still depended on the outcome of the subsequent free kick, and the courage and determination of the ten men who were left to fend off the advance LTD hordes. As it happened the free kick sailed harmlessly wide, and despite their best efforts LTD couldn’t find a way through to goal no matter how hard they tried. The Oaks actually managed to create some match clinching chances themselves, but although Nick showed a great touch and close control, the shoot button seemed to have been disabled.

The game ended like a scene from 300, with Rob literally throwing himself in front of the opposition to prevent a goal, and picking up a juicy shiner and cut lip for his efforts, and Aaron being sprawled on the floor clutching his tackle (I should add this was totally unrelated to Rob’s shiner). This was symbolic of the considerable effort all had put in to hold out for 20 minutes with 10 men, and came as an important reminder that it is always the team that wins the game.

Eye-Ball

Next match: Sunday 24th October away @ Lakeside v Rec Rovers – 1030 KO