Gateway 2 - 0 Aveley Academicals

Unfortunately a performance from the Accies that is deserving of an epic write-up can only be based on second hand news, given that I was stuck at home waiting for the other boys in blue.  Someone had smashed the rear window of the mighty Green Machine the night before, and although the chances of ‘justice being done’ were slim I owed it to others who might be victims of greater crimes to see if any clues could be lifted.

I can therefore only imagine the scenes as The Accies took on Gateway; the team with the reputation for playing dirty and intimidating referees.  I like to think of it as a battle of good versus evil, right versus wrong, Wimbledon circa 1980s versus anyone else.  The cowardly goblins, hiding behind the muscle-bound, brain dead orcs and trolls versus the brave and courageous creatures of Middle Earth: the battle hardened and fearless dwarfs (Robin, Brian and Craig); the unassuming yet courageous hobbits (Bobby and Luke); the agile and lightning fast elves (Dale and Lewis) and the humans (Foggy, Liam and Tony) – kings and leaders of the free peoples.  Oh and Tom Bombadil – according to Wikipedia his weapon is singing (Terry).  If only they’d had their wizard (do I even need to say), then maybe the outcome would have been different.

 

Subs: Martin, James

 

From what I heard, Gateway lived up to their reputation for late tackles, swinging arms and basic foul play and intimidation.  However, the Accies weren’t going to roll over and play dead like some other teams who have leaked double figures against this mob.  Their ring leader, in particular, had a much tougher time than he is used to, as he came up against Robin, a man who has stood strong against the biggest and toughest opponents over the last 30+ years.  From talking to Robin it sounds like he had a great time, taking elbows, stamps and insults with a laugh and sense of enjoyment that must have been pretty unsettling for the perpetrator. He even had his opponent crying to the referee that Rob had ‘tried to break his leg’, but then he wouldn’t have known that Robin probably gets away with more than Gateway given the respect and admiration most Thurrock Sunday League referees have for him.

 

Who forgot to fill up the team bus?

 

It wasn’t just Robin though, although much like when the great warrior charges into battle, I’m sure the rest of the team took inspiration and confidence from this example.  After taking one particularly dirty tackle, Bobby became a man possessed and took command of a midfield that was missing some key components.  Luke C. didn’t hold back (good to see nothing changed there then), and threw himself into every challenge despite the potential consequences.  This included a nice shiner from a high boot as he bravely went for a header (I’m not sure if anyone has seen it – perhaps if we ask Luke he’ll put a picture on the chat, but then he is pretty modest).  It sounds like Luke C. had a particularly tough battle against Gateway’s 6 foot something, rapid winger.  He must have done a pretty good job as he as awarded MoTM for his efforts.  Perhaps the award should have been a bag of frozen peas.

 

The goals came at the start and the end of the game, and both seemed unavoidable and a touch unlucky.  The first was within 5 minutes, when Gateway broke following an Aveley corner.  Apparently the referee missed the fact that the ball had gone out and should have awarded a goal kick.  However, instead Aveley were caught short at the back and Gateway were clinical in their finishing.  The second goal in the last ten minutes was direct from a corner (which maybe was a generous decision?) and the aforementioned vertically superior winger rose high above everyone to head into the net.

 

For the 80 minutes between these goals, I am reliably informed that the Accies were the better side, and created more than enough really good chances to win the game.  Still, this was definitely a day to forget the result and be proud of the performance, especially as some marquee players were missing.  This positive feeling is echoed in the DoTD, which rather than being awarded for anything relating to the football went to Terry for an horrific fashion statement consisting of sparkly gloves and shorts down around his ankles (still that’s a pretty brave move in itself).

 

Good may have lost this first battle, but with another league and a cup game to come, the war is still very much there to be won.

 

Eye-Ball

Stanford Wanderers 2 – 5 Aveley Academicals (Ted Fairchild Cup 2nd Round)

Before I get onto the match, there is something else we need to talk about.  It’s not often that the prospect of signing a new player causes such a stir, and so much excitement in the ranks.  However, this was special, and so special in fact that I felt compelled to write a short poem:

From Poland he came,

And football’s his game.

Miroslav.
 

Working with Lee,

Used to play for a fee.

Miroslav.
 

Right back’s his thing,

But he’ll play on the wing.

Miroslav.
 

Thinks the skipper is great,

Got a new bezzy mate.

Miroslav.
 

Sondico’s his brand,

All others are banned.

Miroslav.
 

Vodka or gin,

He says drinking’s a sin.

Miroslav.
 

Drives not a car,

Rides Yamaha.

Miroslav.

Is he a real bloke?

It’s surely a joke.

Miroslav.
 

Dick of the day,

What a gumbo we say.

Miroslav.

 

Anyway, back to the game, and with a big test next week the gaffa wanted to try something different, against a young team from Division Two.  So we set up as a 3-5-2, with Eye-Ball and Luke being asked to play wing back, and Brian making a welcome return in the middle of defence alongside Foggy and Robin.  Dale made his first start since returning from Benidorm.

 

Subs: Scott, Craig, Terry

 

I don’t know whether it was the new formation, or the fact everyone was thinking of Miroslav, but we got off to an awful start.  We couldn’t string one let alone two passes together, and our young and enthusiastic opponents were running rings round us.  It’s unheard of for me to publish two formations, but within five minutes the tactics were ripped up and we reverted back to a more familiar 4-5-1.

 

 



This did seem to help us relax and start playing some football, but didn’t prevent the small, effeminate, Life of Brian extra look-alike parting the Blue Sea (consisting of the Accies’ midfield and defence) and waltzing through unchallenged to score: 1-0.

The frustration was building, but this isn’t necessarily a bad thing if that frustration is channelled in the right way, and it was promising to see a bit of grit and determination to put things right. However, we were still woefully sloppy and really didn’t look like scoring until Liam ran through on goal, and was narrowly beaten to the ball by the keeper.  On numerous occasions last season when we were struggling, Dale would find a goal out of nowhere to get us back a game, and as the ball bounced on the edge of the area he showed us what we have been missing. With the keeper out of position following the challenge with Liam, Dale lifted the ball over everyone, and it dropped just under the bar and into the far corner of the net: 1-1.

This goal really seemed to galvanise the team and we were now competing for everything, and starting to ruffle the fledgling feathers of our opponents.  However, the Accies weren’t able to find a reward for this increased pressure, and the scores remained level going into half time.

I haven’t mentioned yet that the referee for this game was ‘He who shall not be harangued’, and it was unfortunate that his whistle and voice dominated much of the second half.  This was never going to be a good game, but he turned it into a pretty awful one in which we were grateful to the three second half subs for playing a major part in getting us over the line.

I’m not sure Craig would want his stand out contribution to be remembered, but you could say it caused us to find the urgency to get the goals we needed to win the game.  The Accies were controlling the second half, and it seemed like only a matter of time before the goals would come.  Lewis’s goal was being well protected at one end, and we were creating chances (without finding the net) at the other.  Then a corner was nodded down into the six yard box by Robin, where Craig was unmarked and facing goal.  It was as if Christmas had come early, but unfortunately Craig didn’t want to accept the gift and instead of lashing the bouncing ball into the net he tried to side foot it, and only succeeded in lifting it softly into the arms of the grateful goal keeper.  If that was bad enough, those who were back defend seemed to be completely dumbstruck, as the keeper’s long clearance bounced under Luke, and was played out to the right wing where Eye-Ball was caught out of position.  The winger took one touch with his chest to carry the ball into the area before shooting first time across Lewis and into the far corner: 2-1.

This goal came completely against the run of play, but fortunately there was plenty of time to put things right, starting with getting back on level terms.  The ball was lifted back into the box following a corner, where H collected it on the left side of goal.  He could have shot himself (and possibly did), but instead the ball found its way to Robin who made not mistake from three yards out:  2-2.

Terry was on at this point, and was putting himself about and frustrating the opposition.  It was a foul on him in the centre circle which lead to Robin sending the ball into the box.  Under pressure the defender won the header, but could only help it on its way into the net, and we were in front for the first time in the match: 2-3.

With the obligatory Tel-lé being unsuccessful, Terry found a simpler route to bagging his first goal for the Accies.  He’d been working hard to get into the box whenever we broke, and was finally reward when Scott found himself with a lot of time and space in box.  After considering the options, he decided not to shoot, but instead squared to Terry who calmly placed the ball with the outside of his boot into the far corner: 2-4.

This goal was the most valuable, and it meant the ridiculous scenes that followed – in which Harry vented all the frustration that had built up through his exchanges with the other member of Hanson – were unlikely to cost us the game.  H was sent off for a reckless two footed lunge (delivered to the cry of “mmmbop”) which also saw his victim sent off for his reaction. 

Stanford’s centre half also saw red for excessive haranguing as he completely lost it with the ref, and had to be restrained, following the award of a penalty for a blatant foul on Terry, who had already turned him inside out.  Despite attempts to give the kick to someone else, Eye-Ball was harangued into taking it, and actually did a pretty good job in slotting it low to the keeper’s left for the fourth goal of his ten and a bit season club career, which includes a 100% record from the spot. 2-5.

And so we progressed to the 3^rd round, and a potential clash against our nemesis from last year, Stanford Town.  MoTM was awarded to Robin for a display in which – as you would expect – he kept is head when those around him lost theirs.  Solid in defence, and a goal and an assist to round off a great performance.

So not a game to be remembered for what happened on the pitch, but one that will still be cherished for the look on the Dick of the Day’s face when he was told after the game that Miroslav had flown back to Poland, and was unlikely to be seen again.  Priceless.

Eye-Ball

Next game:  Sunday 4^th December @ Chadwell Rec v Gateway.

Goal scoring chart