With Deano and H back, Milesy had plenty of options and went with the following line up. ppppppppppppppppConnor
Eye-BallppppppRobppppNikippppBrowne
ppppppppppppppppTapsell
NathanppppppMikeypppppBunnyppppppRyan
pppppppppppppppppDale
subs: Luke, Harry, Scott, Deano, Gollum, Parker
The game was as full of incidents as it was goals, and even before the match started there was drama. Confusion over who should have contacted the referee resulted in him having a lie in, and the match was delayed whilst the opposition manager composed himself to take on the task of blowing the whistle. We were kept entertained by Sharpy and Alec, who engaged in a little impromptu mud wrestling as Sharpy slipped and took Al with him.
The game finally got underway with the Oaks kicking into a swirling wind. It didn't get off to the best of starts as a kick on Niki, that went unpunished, resulted in the Greyhound striker breaking free through the middle and slotting calmly past Connor: 1-0.
There really wasn't any need to panic, as it was obvious that Greyhound wouldn't be able to hold onto the lead for 80 minutes. Even Eye-Ball was making runs in behind the defence, as he took it in turns with Nathan to do the running down the wing (neither of us are as young or fit as we used to be). Eye-Ball had only just had time to congratulate the amiable striker on his goal before Bunny was powering a header into the back of the net from Nathan's corner to level the match: 1-1.
To be fair to Greyhound, they did try playing football and showed that they were capable of keeping the ball with some neat passing. However, they were always going to end up short changed in midfield against the trio of Mikey, Tapsell and Bunny. Even if they did get beyond this first line, Rob and Niki were in no mood to let the strikers get anywhere near the ball.
The Oaks were soon in the lead as Dale collected his first goal of the game, which was thanks in no small part to the contributions of Ryan and Nathan. Ryan floated a delightful diagonal ball behind the defence, which Nathan was on to in a flash. With the goal at his mercy, he unselfishly rolled the ball across the six yard box of Dale to tap into an empty net without breaking stride. It is unheard of for Nathan to go 13 games without a goal, which made his decision to pass rather than go for goal himself even more commendable - a true team player: 1-2.
There was time before half time for the Oaks to extend their lead further, with Dale once again benefiting from the service of his team mates. This time it was Tapsell who slid the ball through, and under pressure from the defender Dale fired the ball low into the right hand corner from 12 yards. The defender's intervention may have straightened up the effort a little, but there was no doubting that this was Dale's goal: 1-3.
There was no excuse for giving Greyhound a sniff from this point, but we were nearly kicking ourselves when Greyhound were allowed to play the ball through us in the box. We were indebted to Connor for keeping our lead in tact as he rushed of the line to block the shot at the feet of the opposition player.
Milesy made two changes at half-time with Deano replacing Browne (Eye-Ball reverted to left back), and Luke having his first taste of action between the sticks this season - since injuring his wrist (you can make your own diagnosis). Greyhound made their own change, with a familiar face taking up a striking position. Much like Fred Flintstone when the full rack of T-Rex ribs are served up, I'm sure I spotted Rob and Deano licking their lips as the sizeable frame of the BFJ lumbered towards them. This was actually going to be the last time Nick turns out for Greyhound, as he has decided to re-join the Oaks. It's a ballsy decision, and whilst he will be welcomed back he will surely understand that there are a lot of blokes who have turned up every week who will be pulling on a shirt in front of him.
With the cushion of a two goal lead, the Oaks came out for the second half relaxed and eager to fill their boots. First to get in on the action was Tapsell. Eye-ball came close to getting there first when, loitering in the box, he poked the high bouncing ball towards the goal. There was some suspicion that the defender used his hand to deflect the ball behind for a corner, but we had no need to worry, as Ryan's subsequent ball in was met at the back post by Tapsell (it's been a while since we've seen one of them): 1-4.
Dale's hat-trick would have to wait, as he turned provider for his brother. Ryan was put through down the left, and cut inside onto his right before curling the ball expertly into the far corner of the net: 1-5.
Greyhound were then gifted a consolation goal as Luke failed to hold onto a swirling drive by Nick from the edge of the area. If the pitch hadn't been so muddy he would have collected the ball at the second attempt, but his slip allowed the Greyhound player to waltz in for the easiest of tap ins: 2-5.
Any thoughts that this might spark a come back were soon erased as Dale completed his hat-trick before adding a fourth for good measure. First he was put through by Bunny, and then by Tapsell, who won the ball deep in our half before performing a trick most escape artists would be proud of. On both occasions Dale finished in the calm and assured manner that we have become accustomed to. He came very close to getting a fifth, but smashed the ball against post and bar from a tight angle: 2-7.
If a goal fest and booing Nick wasn't enough for our faithful supporters, Milesy had another very special treat for them. Now I reckon God must have a sense of humour, as Nature is littered with cases where you think, 'that’s just harsh.' There is the Daddy Longlegs: apparently the deadliest venom on the planet, but fangs that can't penetrate a tissue. Then there is the Mayfly: spends months as a larva under decaying vegetation, only to die within a few hours of developing wings and seeing the big bright world. However, these anomalies pale into insignificance when you consider one of his greatest balls ups: Michael J Parker. A man (loosely speaking), blessed with the footballing brain, touch and technique of Zinedine Zidane, but the body, speed and agility of Susan Boyle after 12 cans of Special Brew.
Milesy decided to give Parker a run out ahead of the other attacking options (how must H and Scott feel), and he made quite an impact. Firstly he was involved in one of the most surreal moments I have ever seen on a football pitch. Picture the scene: Parker is standing with the ball on the edge of the box, planning his next move. All of a sudden none other than "Where's Robby Lawrence" (he's in the six yard box of course) comes rushing past him. Parker's telepathic instincts (or it could have been the earth shaking) mean that, without looking, he slots the ball behind the back four for Rob to run onto. Instead of stooping to head the ball off the ground, or even ignoring the ball to destroy the nearest breathing object, Rob casually lifts the ball over the on-rushing keeper. Silence descends, and for a split second time stops as we all stand and watch as the ball floats towards the goal, but drifts agonisingly wide under the influence of the wind (that God again!).
As you would expect, Parker's contribution quickly went from the sublime to the ridiculous. There was an attempt at a cross field ball to Deano, which would have been perfect had we been playing on our pitch by the running track rather than directly in front of the club house. Then there was the chance to be the hero (OK, forget the fact we were 4 or 5 goals up at the time). Parker had drifted into the box unmarked, and when Ryan drew the keeper and played the ball across the box surely any contact from Parker's ample frame would have directed the ball into the empty net. However, he decided he'd rather join H, Mikey and Scott in the "I can't believe you missed that" club as he skied the ball over the cross bar from six yards.
Parker may end up as the butt of many of our jokes, but I for one would like to thank this most loyal servant of the Oaks for reminding me that whatever happens in the game, there are far worst places to be on a Sunday morning than running around in a cold, muddy field and having a laugh with your mates.
Eye-Ball
Next Game: Sunday 10th February Away @ The Springhouse Club v Springhouse - 10:30 KO
Details can be found at the following website: http://www.thespringhouse.co.uk/howtofindus.htm
Goal scoring chart
No comments:
Post a Comment