Oaks Athletic 2 - 0 Wilburn Wanderers (aet) TASL Division Two Cup Final

Books, Films and mythology are littered with stories of unlikely escapes and triumphs of the underdog against all the odds: David slayed Goliath; George killed the Dragon; Bond escaped the laser beam; and Ron Burgundy plus co-workers out boxed a pack of grizzly bears. However, as the players of the Oaks Athletic entered through the turnstile at Tilbury FC there was never going to be a fairy-tale ending, and the reality was that we would be leaving with the cup we deserved to win.


The programme team photo

The only thing Wilburn did win on this day was the race to the changing rooms, as they bagged the Home room. However, the Away dressing room was still more spacious and luxurious than the Oaks are accustomed to, and with an hour until kick-off we set about preparing for the game. As we got changed some chose to tap their feet in a nervous fashion, others read about themselves in the match day programme, two discreetly shared a can of Dutch courage and the natural leaders in the squad looked to rouse the troops with war cries and general noise designed to encourage our squad whilst striking fear into the opposition. Steve also named the starting eleven, which included the tough decision to leave out Mikey despite the midfielder declaring himself fit on Tuesday.

ppppppppppppppppTy

Deano (c)ppppppRobppppNikippppEye-Ball

NathanppppppBunnypppppTapsellppppppRyan

ppppppppppppNickppppHarry

subs: Sharpy, Mikey B, Luke, Al

As we headed out to the pitch for our usual pre-match warm up, a few things quickly became apparent. The first was that a kit clash meant one of us would have to change, and with Milesy living nearby the decision was taken that we would have to change from our trusty purple to the old school Red and Black. Secondly, the time it took to complete our usual 4 times across the pitch warm up brought home the fact that this pitch was massive compared to the park pitches we rule each week. The sweat now dripping off a few of the players also made it clear that, on this warm evening, staying hydrated was going to be vital.

With warm up complete we reassembled in the dressing room before being led out to the tunnel (or cage) to await the officials and get the game underway. Apparently some 260 people had turned up to watch the final and we were grateful that a good number of them had come to support the Oaks. With the signal given, we followed Captain Deano onto the battle field and got ready for battle to commence.

The Oaks didn't start the best in this game; pre-match nerves hadn't been completely eradicated, and a hard, uneven pitch meant first touches were an issue and possession was often given away cheaply. Wilburn had also set up to defend and as a result the midfield was over-crowded. Defences dominated in the opening exchanges as the Oaks were more than comfortable dealing with any long balls up to the lone strike man, and the Wilburn pack four showed they had the pace to deal with the threat of the ball in behind, much to the frustration of Ryan and Harry.

Still, although you could argue Wilburn were the better side in the opening exchanges, the only time Ty had to touch the ball was to deal with a few back passes, collect over-hit through balls and gather a couple of speculative long range efforts. It wasn't much better for the Oaks as frustration lead to some rash long range shots that only troubled the netting behind the goal.

It seemed that Wilburn foolishly thought they could kick us off the park, as they dived in with a few horrendous challenges in the opening 20 minutes. However, there are few teams that can win the physical battle against the Oaks, as was epitomised when Nick went toe to toe with the Wilburn captain (the chunky one with the ludicrous 99 shirt) and promptly left him flat on his back. To see their champion flatten in this way knocked some wind out of the Wilburn sails and also confirmed that this was a game where men were playing against boys. Nick had also warned us of their one midfielder who made them tick; but that threat was quickly nullified by strong challenges from Tapsell and Eye-Ball. From this point, Wilburn started to tire and the Oaks slowly began to excerpt their authority on the game.

The chances now started to come, with the best of the first half falling to Bunny and Nathan. Bunny hit what is becoming a trademark right foot shot from outside the area that was moving away from the keeper and heading for the corner. However, the keeper miraculously got across his goal and made a fine save. Nathan then headed over from close range, but we now felt it was only a matter of time before we scored.

The 15 minute half time interval felt agonisingly long and when we went back out the sun had gone and it felt noticeably colder. However, the Oaks were warmed up now and as the referee's watch ticked on the Oaks took more and more of a strangle hold on the game. In particular Ryan and Nathan started to find more time and space on the flanks, and as they got to the byeline on more occasions the Oaks had more opportunity to take advantage of the aerial threat they posed from corners, crosses and throw-ins.

Gaps were also beginning to appear behind the defence, and from virtually the first move of the half Harry got in on goal following a ball over the top but his effort was well saved. Sharpy - now on for Nick - was also proving a handful for the defence and Tapsell had a headed chance that was tipped over by the keeper. Two more good chances fell to Mikey (on for Bunny) but his first time dipping hit from outside the box was tipped over, and a close range header went straight to the keeper. This was basically how it continued for the remainder of the half; with the Oaks peppering the Wilburn goal and their outstanding young goalkeeper keeping them in the game.

With Wilburn seemingly trying to hold out for penalties we were pretty untroubled at the back. The speedy winger Deano had been dealing with had lost interest and the tank up front was getting no change out of Rob and Niki. The most trouble Ty got into was thanks to a couple of dodgy back passes from Eye-Ball, but these were all dealt with without too much difficulty. There was one worrying moment when a free-kick was conceded on the edge of the area, but Wilburn weren't able to trouble Ty's goal. The minutes ticked on and the referee blew up to signal that 30 minutes more would be played to try and find a winner and avoid the dreaded penalty shoot-out.

The Oaks had looked so comfortable up to this point that the thought that this game could go to a penalty shoot-out now made the unthinkable situation where the Oaks could lose this cup seem less of a probabilistic uncertainty. However, I shouldn't have worried, and instead should have put more faith in the lord's reasoning for creating Gingers: to win the Oaks the TASL Division two cup final!

In the first half of added time, Eye-Ball took a throw on the left that was collected by Mikey B. Mikey then went to glide round the advancing Wilburn player and was duly tripped with a free kick being awarded. The Oaks packed the box and awaited the delivery from Ryan. The delivery to the back post was a good as we would have expected it to be, and Tapsell rose highest to nod the ball back across the goal. We all held our breath, but there was no way the keeper was getting this one, and as the ball nestled in the back of the net the crowd erupted and Tapsell was buried under a mass of Oaks players. If we could hold onto our lead for just 20 more minutes the cup would be ours! 1-0.

We would have to hold on without Mikey though, as his hamstring went again and Al came on to help Tapsell anchor the midfield.

Wilburn had been so heavily set up to defend and hold out for penalties that they had no attacking gears to move into, and as it was there was only one team who were going to score again. Now in the second half of extra time a corner was won that was swung in perfectly by Ryan. Rob got a touch and the ball landed invitingly at the feet of our Ginger saviour Tapsell, who smashed the ball into the roof of the net: 2-0.

This sealed the win, and the last ten minutes were a formality as the Oaks cruised to their first cup victory, and what would more than likely be the first half of an unprecedented league, cup double.

With the game finished families and friends gathered to first clap the beaten finalists, who despite being out of their depth on this occasion showed that they are a young side with much potential. Each member of the Oaks squad was then applauded as they collected their medals, and we huddled to await the lifting of the cup by Captain Deano and the crowning of the Oaks as Thurrock Association Sunday League Division Two Cup Champions!

It's worth making it clear that winning this cup has been about a lot more than winning just this one game, and there have been many people who unfortunately couldn't play a part tonight, but still deserve equal credit for the achievement. Who could forgot the fantastic performance in goal from Luke in the first round despite the mother of all hang-overs; or the cross from Jordan that led to the converted penalty in the same game. Even Parker, who ran the line with little Molly in toe in the semi-final and Steve Browne who has been there to support us in virtually every game - this is as much their win as the 14 blokes who got on the pitch, and I hope they realise that.



Well done also to Milesy, Trev and Kellie; this means more to them than anyone, and I know how proud they are of us all for what we are achieving this year. Also thanks for Mark, Cheryl, the patrons of the Ship and past players who have shown their support this season.

Anyway, with the sentimentality's out of the way and post match changing room beers demolished we headed off to the Ship to celebrate, and Deano attempted to pick up another trophy to take home with him...

Eye-Ball



Goals and assists chart

Socketts Heath 0 - 6 Oaks Athletic

Each week I am left with the task of thinking of new superlatives to describe the Oaks performances, but this week I'm really struggling to come up with anything that will do this display justice. Fortunately Captain Marvel Deano wasn't quite so lost for words, and described the performance as "so good that it left him nursing a semi". Although this statement concisely sums up the feat of winning 6-0 whilst playing with ten men for 80 minutes, it does leave two burning questions in my mind: firstly how well would we need to play to take Deano all the way to Pleasure Zone? And secondly, am I right in assuming that my Nan won't have any idea what we're talking about? The challenge to the squad has to be to attempt to answer the first question on Wednesday in the Cup Final, and I'm sure the colour of my ears following the next time I see Nan will answer the second.

The Oaks are in the middle of a very rich vein of form at the moment: that's now four straight wins and 35 goals scored in the last six games. Despite the fact that we have been winning games all season, the sloppiness in front of goal that kept the scorelines looking respectable early in the season has now been replaced by a ruthlessness that is seeing us annihilate teams week in week out - as this graph showing goals scored in each of the 15 league games clearly shows.


2.5 goals per game in the first 10 games has increased to 6.2 per game in the last 5.

The situation in the league now looks even rosier for the Oaks, with only 4 points now required from the last 5 games to put us mathematically beyond the reach of Thameside and Wilburn, who are now the only teams whose end of season points tally could exceed the 37 the Oaks currently possess. Thameside won today, and recent form would suggest that three wins from three in their remaining fixtures against Beauchamps and Tilbury (twice) isn't out of the question. This would give them 38 points, but one more point should be enough to take them out of the equation given our vastly superior goal difference.

Wilburn still have five games to play (including two against the Oaks), and could reach 41 points. However, even if they do achieve the unlikely feat of beating the Oaks twice this still leaves us with games against Stanford, Belhus and Jurgens to pick up the four points we need to clinch the title (note that I'm assuming a 35 goal swing in goal difference is out of the question).



The side that Milesy selected to start this game looked like this:

ppppppppppppppppTy

Deano (c)ppppppRobppppNikippppEye-Ball

NathanppppppBunnypppppTapsellppppppRyan

ppppppppppppNickppppSharpy

subs: Harry, Luke, Al

The recent dry weather had turned an already uneven and patchy Palmer's pitch into a rock solid death trap, and whilst not ideal for playing football on at any time with the cup final only four days away I for one had my fingers crossed that no one picked up a serious injury.

I have already mentioned that we played for 80 minutes with ten men, and it is from 10 minutes into the game that I will start this report. I have also already mentioned that Wilburn Wanderers are really the only team that we still need to watch in the league; and they are also our opponents for this Wednesday's cup final. Their game was postponed today, and as we are yet to meet in the league this year, a few of their players and manager came over to see what we were all about. I suspect that they now wish they had stayed in bed to claw back the lost hour's sleep, as if the Oaks recent form and position in the league isn't intimidating enough the performance of the Oaks midfielders and strikers will surely see them losing more sleep over the next couple of days. The back five also deserve credit for keeping their fifth league clean sheet, but to be honest the lack of threat posed by the opposition made this an easy day at the office, and we had the luxury of sitting back and admiring the fantastic performance of the men in front of us (oh, and we already know what Deano was doing).

Tapsell quickly recognised that the Oaks would need him to suppress his attacking urges and took to the role of holding midfielder superbly. Along with Bunny, who seemed to be everywhere, the two central midfielders were winning everything in the air and on the deck and completely controlling the game. Nathan was a constant threat on the right and Nick was battling away up top. However, for me the star of the first half was Ryan. His constant running, and ability to spot where we most needed the extra cover meant that he more than made up for the numerical disadvantage. He also made himself available whenever the Oaks had the ball and was a constant threat as time and again he embarrassed his inferior opponents down the left.

It didn't take long for the opening goal for the Oaks to arrive. A free kick was won near the half way line, and before taking the kick Nathan encourage Deano to get in the box. He duly obliged, and was rewarded by having the ball planted directly onto his swede, with which he then directed the ball past the stranded keeper and into the net: 0-1.

Ryan's hard work in the first half was reward with his first, and the Oaks second goal of the game. Nick collected the ball outside the box with his back to goal and fended of the challenging defender to give himself time to turn and play the ball out to Ryan on the left. Ryan then advanced into the box and hit the ball firmly into the bottom corner: 0-2.

The Oaks continued to dominate, with Nick looking certain to make it three nil when the ball broke to him in the box with half the goal empty. However, a last minute push in the back meant his off balanced shot came of more shin than foot and rebounded out off the post. Tapsell hit the follow up firmly and maybe should have won a penalty as the defender seemed to stop the ball with his arm. Still, a two nil lead at half time was a fantastic return and just reward to the pride and team spirit displayed by the away side.

It should be mentioned that this was a weaker Socketts Heath side than the one beaten 3-1 two weeks ago, and in particular they were missing a proper goal keeper. They also only had eleven men and one of them got injured in the first half and was now pretty much a spectator in a forward role. Still, the fact that Heath may as well have not been on the pitch in the second half given the Oaks total dominance can mainly be attributed to the fact that we completely broke them in the first half. Now with Harry on to run them ragged the Oaks Show was in full swing.

The third goal was claimed by Nathan as he cut in from the right to collect a through ball from H before finishing in style across the keeper into the far corner of the net, to confirm that he has found his goal scoring touch just at the right time: 0-3.

The move for the next goal started with a throw-in in the left corner when Ryan and Eye-Ball took advantage of Heath's lack of interest in defending. A short throw from Ryan was returned to him by Eye-Ball. His ball into the box was then collect by Tapsell who played it back to H, and his first time shot into the bottom corner was much too good for the stand in keeper and resulted in a rare goal from outside the box for young H: 0-4.

The Oaks were rampant by now, and any thoughts of playing the holding role had been well and truly forgotten by Tapsell and the rest of the midfield. However, it wasn't as if this role was required as Heath had completely given up and we had virtually all of the ball and as much time as we wanted to make the possession count. The fifth goal quickly followed when a well struck shot from Tapsell was fumbled by the keeper, and Ryan was on hand to slot home from 8 yards: 0-5.

Milesy now took the opportunity to bring on the two remaining substitutes with Luke and Al replacing Eye-Ball and Nathan. There was still time for plenty of action including a trademark mazy run from Luke, a rarer box to box charge from Deano (complete with commentary) and a few long range efforts from Ryan which unfortunately didn't deliver the Hat-trick his performance deserved.

The sixth and final nail in the Oaks coffin was hammered home by Bunny as, in quite comical fashion, he smashed two close range efforts against keeper and defender before they finally submitted and Bunny emerging victorious on the third attempt: 0-6.

We really couldn't ask for a better performance in preparation for the cup final on Wednesday, and everyone routing for the Oaks can be sure that we will be giving 100%, which will hopefully be enough to add the first half of a league and cup double that this exceptional squad of young (in most cases) men deserve.

Eye-Ball

Next game: Division 2 Cup final @ Tilbury FC v Wilburn Wanderers: Wed 28th March - 1930 KO.

We even got a mention on the league website:



Goals and assists chart

Stanford Wanderers 3 - 7 Oaks Athletic

The Oaks recorded their 10th win of the season, and in doing so moved another big step closer to securing their first league title since 1996/97. This win also means that the Oaks unbeaten run in the league now stretches over 14 games, or an even more monumental 19 if you include the end of last season; they haven’t lost in any competition since 16 October. The realists amongst us now that all good things must come to an end sooner or later, but it was evident in this victory against Stanford that the men in purple are still as hungry to win as ever, and long may it continue.




With Socketts Heath and Wilburn winning, our three points mean we now need just 7 from the remaining 6 games to guarantee no other team can catch us. The graph suggests that if we win our next three games the league will be wrapped up with 3 games remaining. However, this is based on any other team winning all their games. Even simply a win against Socketts next week could leave us needing just one point if Wilburn slip up against Tilbury.




This game started with a team photo in glorious sunshine, that was a contrast to the heavy fog that had greeted us on our previous trip to the Billet. The shot was for the match day cup final programme that is now just over a week ago, but rather than publish it here I’ll give you the treat of seeing it first hand on the day. With the photo out of the way Milesy assembled a familiar looking team for battle, with just one change with Ash replacing the injured Mikey in the centre of midfield. Browne wasn't available having broken his ankle in comical fashion at Palmer's on the previous Monday, but must be given credit for still hopping over to watch.

ppppppppppppppppTy

Deano (c)ppppppRobppppNikippppEye-Ball

NathanppppppBunnypppppTapsellppppppRyan

ppppppppppNickppppHarry

subs: Sharpy, Luke, Al

After last week we thought the Oaks might have shaken of their tag of being slow starters, but old habits die hard and the first 35 minutes of this game were pretty awful by our own high standards. A few of the lads were still recovering from the previous evening, but it’s not as if this is anything unusual. It definitely doesn’t explain why Stanford were being allowed to dictate the pace of the game and why we seemed to be totally disorganised and disinterested. Our cause wasn’t helped by a whistle happy referee, who was determined to blow up for the slightest bit of physical contact. Given the size of the pitch, every one of the many free kicks we conceded in the first half was a goal scoring opportunity and the ball was regularly flying into the Oaks box. I suppose it is a measure of our expectations that tempers were beginning to get a little frayed, but as long as we accept collective criticism, frustration borne from knowing that we can, and should be doing better can not be a bad thing.

It was therefore not a total shock that Stanford took the lead in the first half through a well delivered corner that was nodded home at the back door: 1-0.

Although the first half was one to forget overall, there were still plenty of positives; not least Bunny’s distribution, of which Nathan was one of the key beneficiaries as he looked to exploit the bags of room Stanford’s attacking formation (they played 3 up top) allowed down the right. However, Nathan was one of those still a bit jaded from the night before and didn’t look at his lethal best when these chances came his way in the opening 45.

One man who was able to capitalise on yet another excellent ball from Bunny was Tapsell. Who raced clear of the defence and finished expertly to get the Oaks back level: 1-1.

This goal didn’t seem to settle the early jitters, and Stanford were soon back on top when their coughing and spluttering centre forward got clear of the Oaks defence and lifted over the advancing Ty – who dealt the striker a kick in the ribs for his troubles: 2-1.

It’s a measure of how far this team has come that, personally at least, even though I was disappointed that we conceded again, I was never worried about us not getting back into the game, and I knew for certain that (despite having much of the same team) Stanford wouldn’t be capable of repeating either of the 7-2 thrashings they had dealt out to the Oaks in 2009. In fact in the last ten minutes of the half we started to find our rhythm, and could easily have gone into half time in the lead. The stand out chances being a Bunny Blaster from 30 yards that shook the crossbar and a great move that ended with Harry shooting wide after Deano, Eye-Ball, Ryan and Harry combined in a 7 pass move that saw the ball travel from right back, to left back, up the left wing and almost into the back of the net.

The half time team talk was pretty straightforward – get your heads back on it and go out there and win this game. The ten minute break, plus the fact that Stanford looked to be suffering due to their first half exertions, seemed to do the trick as the Oaks came out for the second half all guns blazing.

The one goal deficit was wiped out when Tapsell found Harry in space on the left, and he finished neatly past the keeper with his left foot for his 13th goal of the season: 2-2.

There was some uncertainty after the game as to whether Harry's goal had been the second or third. However, Nick assured us that is must have been second as he distinctly remembers feeling slightly nauseous at the thought of Harry pulling away from him in the goal scoring chart. If such concerns are what it takes to spring the BFJ into life then that is fine by me, as he was soon reducing the chart deficit to one (with a big hand from Harry), and giving the Oaks the lead for the first time in the game. H collected the ball on the right and crossed perfectly to meet the BFJ's run, who side footed neatly into the net from six yards: 2-3.

The Oaks were noticeably more relaxed now, and there was even time for a bit of crowd pleasing from Eye-Ball who, when trying to keep the ball in up the line, only succeeded in tripping himself up and diving head first into one of the footballs on the sideline - obviously Eye-Ball was overwhelmed from the resulting sympathy. Fortunately I've found an artist's impression of the incident:




Milesy also took the third goal as a cue to make his first change as Sharpy replaced H.

Despite their total dominance (and the fact that injuries meant Stanford played some of the second half with ten men before putting one of the injured players in goal), the Oaks still need to be wary of the fact the Stanford are a goal scoring machine, and they scored their third good goal of the game when the striker shot from outside of the area into the bottom corner: 3-3.

This goal didn't deter the Oaks who continued to pepper the Stanford goal, with the best chances falling to Nathan - who was denied from six yards out by an amazing save by the proper goal keeper - and Tapsell, who fluffed his lines when through one on one, and scooped his shot wide of the target. Deano also claims his driven effort was destined for the top corner if it hadn't been well saved by the keeper (who was now playing on pitch and throwing himself in front of Deano at the time the ball connected with his hands).

It didn't take long for the Stanford spirit to be broken, and it was Nick who, for the second time in the game, restored the lead for the Oaks. This time it was Nathan who crossed the ball, and Nick did well whilst falling backwards to glance the ball into the net for his 13th of the season, and a rare headed goal: 3-4

The Oaks capitalised on Stanford's dejection thanks to two great corners from Ryan. The first falling straight onto Rob's head, who made no mistake to make the score 3-5, and second being a carbon copy that this time fell on the flame coloured head of Tapsell: 3-6.

With the game now won Milesy put on two more sets of fresh legs with Al replacing Nick - who came close to grabbing his hat-trick with a stinging drive from outside the box - and Luke coming on for Bunny.

There was still time for Sharpy to grab some headlines, as he scored his sixth goal in five games when he just beat the limping replacement keeper to a through ball from Nathan, and bundled the ball over the line via various parts of his anatomy: 3-7.

That's now 29 goals scored by the Oaks in just five games, which means things are really hotting up in the goals and assists chart. If we just remember to keep helping each other put the ball in the net and we can't go wrong.

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 25th March Away v Socketts Heath @ Palmers

REMEMBER CLOCKS GO FORWARD ONE HOUR ON SUNDAY

Goals and assist

Oaks Athletic 3 - 1 Socketts Heath

Manager Milesy made it clear before this match that the only team who could stop the Oaks winning the league title was the Oaks. After this win it is almost true that not even the Oaks could stop us. As it stands, mathematically speaking, 10 more points would take us to a tally that is greater than any team in the league can achieve. The reality is that two more wins (and in particular picking up points against Stanford and Wilburn) should be enough to see us over the line.



The significance of this win against a Socketts Heath side who, despite inconsistent results, posed a real threat to the Oaks unbeaten record can not be underestimated. If we had lost this game, with a return fixture against the same team in two weeks time, it could have had a severe affect on our moral as we enter the business end of the season. As it was we put in a great performance, with the first half being one of the best 45 minutes I have been involved in. One of the many great things about this Oaks side is that, despite the success we have had so far this season, every new team we come up against is treated with respect, and we don't expect to get anything out of any game without giving 100%. This was evident in this match, and any doubts Socketts Heath may have had about our credentials as favourites for the title were soon erased.

For this game Milesy reverted back to the familiar 4-4-2 formation which meant Harry coming in for Bunny, who was on holiday.

ppppppppppppppppTy

Deano (c)ppppppRobppppNikippppEye-Ball

NathanppppppMikey BpppppTapsellppppppRyan

ppppppppppNickppppHarry

subs: Sharpy, Luke, Al, Browne

The Oaks are often criticised for being slow starters, but on this warm early Spring day they came out of the blocks flying and the scene for the first half, and much of the match was soon set. Despite not being short of tall players, Nathan and Tapsell were completely dominant in the midfield aerial battles. Like most defences, the Heath rear guard were finding Nick to be a real handful and Ryan and Harry were giving them no respite with their tricky and constant movement. Mikey was doing the hard graft in front of the defense; breaking up any attacking move before it advanced to the final third and stopping them getting easy ball to the one threat they had in the lightning fast little forward. When they did get the ball forward or over the top the Oaks defence of Eye-Ball, Niki, Rob and Deano were quick to put the opposition under pressure, and kept a good line to nullify the pace of Heath's front man (good work from Browne with the flag helped as well). And finally if the flag wasn't enough to stop the opposition, Ty was quick off his line to collect the ball before distributing it expertly to get the Oaks on the attack again.

Heath's keeper was the busier of the two in the early exchanges, and made good saves to deny Tapsell and Nick; the former almost catching the keeper with a looping effort from outside the area, and the latter stinging the keeper's hands with a powerfully struck effort. He also was lucky not to give away a penalty when Harry went down under (minimal it must be said) contact. Another good chance feel to Ryan, who in hindsight may have done better to square the ball to Mikey rather than curling the ball unsuccessfully towards the far corner.

At the other end Ty was forced into a good save with his legs after one of the Heath midfielders broke into the box, and Eye-Ball read the danger when Heath's forward nodded a long ball over Ty's head and was able to redirect the ball back into the air for Ty to collect.

It had been a tight and competitive opening 15-20 minutes, and we knew how important the first goal would be. The sense of relief and release of tension when our early dominance was finally rewarded was therefore clear to see. Nick picked up the ball in the opposition half and played a defence splitting pass for the rapid Harry to run on to. He still had a lot to do, but showed composure and ability beyond his years to slot the ball low past the keeper into the far corner: 1-0.

The Oaks weren't going to sit on a one goal lead, and looked to hit Heath whilst their heads were down, with Nathan supplying the biggest punch of all. Heath's inability to win the ball from Nick by fair means lead to him being fouled about twenty five yards from goal, just right of centre. Nathan took charge of the kick, and whilst some may have expected him to float the ball into the box, with daughter Megan looking on Daddy had other ideas. He chose to shoot, with the ball arrowing towards goal in a trajectory not dissimilar to that found by Bunny last week. The keeper had the cheek to dive, when the reality was that he stood no chance in preventing the ball from flying just inside the post to earn Nathan a fantastic individual goal and a two nil lead for the Oaks: 2-0.

*INTERMISSION*

I believe this is the first goal we have had this season that has come direct from a free kick: which begs the question of who, if anyone, should be credited with the assist. A quick look at the reliable resource that is Wikipedia reveals that, when compiling statistics for the 1986 World Cup, the FIFA Technical Study Group, under criteria number four, state that: after goals scored on penalty or by a directly converted free-kick the fouled player receives a point. So there we have it, irrefutable evidence that the assist for Nathan's goal goes to the BFJ.

*END OF INTERMISSION*

A very successful first half finished with the Oaks holding a two nil lead that their efforts deserved. We knew that Heath would come out all guns blazing for the second half, and that getting a third goal that would kill off the game was a key priority.

When caught in seven minds about what to do with a ball that bounced across him whilst running back towards goal, Eye-Ball made the unwise decision to pass the ball back to Ty who was quickly going to be under pressure from the Heath forward. It didn't help that the pass wasn't clean, and as a result Ty only managed to kick the ball about two yards. Fortunately he then spread himself well to save the resulting shot, and the ball was cleared to safety. Needless to say Milesy made it clear where the ball should have gone (somewhere between Jupiter and Mars if I remember correctly).

Matters then got worse for the Oaks when Mikey was forced off with a hamstring injury. Much like the great midfield generals of our time - Makelele, Viera, Keane, Gollum - Mikey's influence on the Oaks performances is often overlooked. His tireless running, dogged determination and ability to read the game and get into the gaps that the opposition would look to exploit gives the likes of Tapsell, Ryan and Nathan the freedom to provide the creative banquet that our forwards have feasted on all season. As well as the injury being a blow for the team, it is also a worry for Mikey with the cup final being only 2 weeks away. We've all got our fingers crossed that he is able to make a speedy recovery.

Despite being able to replace Mikey with another young midfielder of obvious quality, Mikey's role is not one that comes naturally to Al (and that's without the difficulty of coming into a game cold), and it's no surprise that Heath (now playing three up front) started to find some space in front of the Oaks defence that they looked to exploit. A good ball over the top was collected by Heath's striker (who for once had beaten the offside trap). Deano's effort to catch him was in vain, and Ty wasn't quick enough to get to him from the other direction, and a good finish was applied with the ball rolling past Ty into the net. Milesy claims that the goal was bobble assisted as it's original path was on to the post, but they all count: 2-1.

What followed was a 10-15 minute period of "Squeaky Bum Time", as a rejuvenated Heath piled the pressure on an Oaks side who were suffering a momentary loss of composure. In this time numerous corners were won, the bar was shaken and the side netting was hit, but still the Oaks held on to their slender advantage.

The importance of getting that third goal when we had a two goal lead has already been mentioned, and a great chance had been squandered earlier in the half when Harry shot tamely at the keeper with Nick standing unmarked on the edge of the six yard box, with only an empty net for company. Nick was understandably peeved at his strike partner's choice, but with the impact Harry has had since joining the Oaks this season it is easy to forget just how young he is. The most important thing is that he realises he made a mistake and is encouraged by the more experienced members of the team to learn from it. Fortunately Harry is a fast learner, and when the ball landed at his feet in a similar position, following good work from Ryan down the left, he responded to the cry from Sharpy (who had come on for Nick), and played the ball across the six yard box for Sharpy to poke home past the despairing defender: 3-1.

With five minutes left Milesy took of Harry, and brought on Luke to sure up the defence and see off any last minute onslaughts, and when the final whistle blew the Oaks were left to celebrate a deserved and hard fought three points. One slight concern was a late injury to Niki, which hopefully will be OK for next week as he has really impressed since getting a run in the side.

Personally I can't wait until next week, and the opportunity to get another three points closer to getting our hands on the league trophy. It should be a really fascinating game, as not only have Stanford scored more goals than any other team in the league, they also have the worst defensive record. Compare that with the Oaks who have scored only one goal less, whilst having the tightest defence in the league (only 15 goals conceded in 13 games - and four of them were in one match!). I can imagine attackers licking their lips and the Oaks defenders looking to cement their position as the best defensive unit in the league. Oh, and for the old guard it's also an opportunity to get revenge for successive 7-2 thrashings at the hands of Stanford two seasons ago.

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 18th March Away v Stanford Wanderers @ The Billet - 10:30 K.O.

Goals and Assists Chart:

Beauchamps Rovers 0 - 11 Oaks Athletic

This game was testament to the fact that winning a division title in the Thurrock Sunday League takes a lot more than simply having the best team of eleven players on your books. I'm not suggesting that Beauchamps have the best side (the Oaks have good reason to claim that mantle), but they showed last week that, with their best side out, they are a dangerous proposition. With the Oaks at full strength (as they are every week), there surely wasn't any hope of Beauchamps improving on the result from the previous meeting with only ten players for the first half. Despite holding out for 15 minutes, when the flood gates finally opened Beauchamps were washed away on an endless wave of Oaks pressure, which resulted in an 11 goal winning margin that is the highest for the Oaks in recent memory, and for any team in the league this season.

You could say that the Oaks were lucky to meet Beauchamps on a day when they were severely under-strength, but the signal the result sends out to the rest of the league is still undiminished: offer the Oaks any charity and they will bite your arm off. As well as doing wonders for our goal difference (whilst destroying Beauchamp's), this win extended the gap at the top to two points with 3 games in hand over Socketts Heath, who moved into second with a comprehensive win over Jurgens. Recent results have suggested that the most valuable six points we have picked up this season have come from Jacks Lads, who look to be the form team of the rest. Their win against Wilburn would have seriously damaged their chances of getting out of this league, and with games against Thameside, Stanford Wanderers and Wilburn still to come Jacks Lads could well prove to be allies to the Oaks in the race for the title.


We've already surpassed our total points for the last two seasons (26 and 27), so I think we can safely say we've improved.

Without knowing about the numerical deficiency of the opposition, Milesy decided to start the game with a 4-5-1 formation in an attempt to nullify the threat Beauchamps had caused the previous week through their one man advantage in midfield. This meant a start in the middle for Bunny, whilst Nick took up the lone-striker role. The only other change from the previous week was Eye-Ball returning to the side at the expense of Browne.

Line up:

ppppppppppppppppTy

Deano (c)ppppppRobppppNikippppEye-Ball

NathanppBunnyppMikey BppTapsellppRyan

pppppppppppppppNick

subs: Joe, Sharpy, Browne, Luke, Al, Harry

It's not often I write about goal fests of this nature, but when I do I find the best approach is get the opposition's contribution out of the way first so we can concentrate on what we all want to hear.

Like most teams with ten men, Beauchamps started brightly and looked a match for the Oaks who had a woeful first fifteen minutes. Passes were going astray, first touches were awful and we just couldn't get the ball down and play. Despite this Beauchamps weren't able to cause too many difficulties during this, or any period of the game. Their chances were limited to a free kick that skidded on the wet surface and forced Ty to show his experience and composure to guide the ball over the bar, a good run and cross from the tricky skipper that was cut out by Niki, an in swinging corner that was dealt with by Tapsell, and a free kick in the second half that dipped in the wind and saw Ty scrambling and stretching to keep the ball out of his unadulterated net. That really is about it; for any other attempt to penetrate the Oaks' back four all you need to know is that the defensive unit stood firm, supported each other and did what needed to be done to preserve the clean sheet.

Before the first goal went in other chances went begging, including a crazy game of goal mouth pinball as attempts from various players following a set piece saw the ball bounce out off players and posts, and across the goal line, numerous times before finally being cleared. Ryan also created a good chance for himself when he found time to shoot from the right, but the keeper got down well to make a good save.

Even when the first goal did arrive most of us weren't sure that it had. Receiving the ball in the middle, Taps played the ball behind the defence to Nick. He then descended on the goal and from a tight angle squeezed the ball home off the goal keeper. This cued (or more accurately "didn't cue") the worst ever celebrations of a goal as most of us (including the ref) were unclear as to whether Nick had actually scored. The referee even admitted to Nick after the game that our lack of reaction almost lead him to conclude that he should award a goal kick. Fortunately the true outcome was soon made clear, and the Oaks were grateful to be lifted of some of the pressure that a one man advantage can bring when all is expected to be so easy: 0-1.

We knew we would need (and should expect to get) more than one, and it was our Captain Marvel Deano who broke any spirit that the opposition still had as he rose salmon-Esq to guide Tapsell's ball into the box following a corner past the helpless keeper: 0-2.

There were a few real gems in this eleven goal thriller, of which the third was defintely one. Ryan picked up the ball and crossed perfectly from the bye-line with his left foot to meet the run of Nick who opened up his right foot to glide the ball into the far corner of the net: 0-3.

The fourth goal - a N.A.T.H.A.N - needs little explanation, and Rob was on hand to finish the job with his dependable (and bruised and battered) noggin. We've been a bit worried about Rob, as up until the last few weeks, not only had he not scored (which is unheard of for someone who is usually a guaranteed five goals a season), but he hadn't split his head open once. Fortunately his third goal of the campaign, and the evident bruises and wounds on his head show, reassuringly, that normal service has been resumed: 0-4.

By this point I could sense thoughts wandering towards the goals and assits chart as everyone looked to get forward at any opportunity. All that is apart from Niki, who is a man who takes his defensive marital vows very seriously - til death do us part and all that. Given such pre-occupations, it was therefore surprising to see Nathan display such sympathy for the destroyed opposition, as he found himself through one-on-one with the keeper. If this had been a pie eating contest you might have given the keeper some hope of winning this duel, but with athleticism and footballing ability being more beneficial attributes at this point the smart money was on Nathan to walk the ball around the keeper and slot home into an empty net. As it was Nathan decided to throw him the proverbial Pukka pie, and could only watch as his side foot shot past the keeper from 20 yards drifted agonisingly wide.

Despite this disappointment Nathan wasn't to be denied twice, and lifted the ball high past the keeper from much closer range after being played in by Nick: 0-5.

A five goal cushion at half time meant that Milesy had the freedom to make changes, but given the possibility of injuries, and the fact that an eleventh man had turned up for Beauchamps, only two substitutions were made with Sharpy replacing Nick, and Al replacing Tapsell. The Oaks reverted to a familiar 4-4-2 with Bunny patnering Mikey in the middle, Al playing on the right and Nathan joining Sharpy up top.

The smell of Beauchamps blood was now spurring on the Oaks pack, and one vulture in particular had been circling in the 10 minutes leading up to half time; shorts on and ready to feast on the dismembered scraps of carcass that had been left strewn across the pitch by the starting eleven's brutal assault in the first half. Ten minutes later Sharpy was celebrating a hat-trick which quadrupled his goals for the season.

Now whatever you say about Sharpy, it can't be denied that things always happen when he is on the pitch. In the past these "things" have often been non football related and detrimental to the Oaks cause. However, he is also renowned for getting into good positions and creating chances to score. It's no surprise then that he should have the upper hand against a disorganised and dejected Beauchamps defensive unit. I'm not going to associate either of the suggested terms with his hat-trick ("sublime" and "Mickey Mouse" were the suggestions if you're interested), but I will say that it was both pleasing and entertaining to finally see Sharpy with a smile on his face, and if kicking a team when they are down is what it takes, let the kicking continue.

The first goal was simplicity itself, as Sharpy just about managed to make the slightest of contacts off his shoulder from a N.A.T.H.A.N. to help the ball on its path into the far the corner: 0-6.

Goal number two of the hat-trick again saw Nathan and Sharpy linking up. Sharpy rose well and called for Nathan to be ready to latch on to the flick-on. Nathan duly obliged, and played the ball back to his strike partner who swept the ball first time to the keeper's left and into the bottom of the net: 0-7.

Sharpy's hat-trick goal was the best finish of the three as he fired low past the keeper from close range following a good through ball from Bunny: 0-8.

*INTERMISSION*

Sharpy's hat-trick got me thinking about previous feats of this nature (there was plenty of time for thinking at the back). The game that immediately sprung to mind was the 10-3 demolition of FC Deportivo Thurrock in 2008 when Sharpy scored a double hat-trick. The 2008/09 season was the first that I began to keep accurate records of games and scorers, and since then there have now been 6 Oaks hat-tricks. The two in one game for Sharpy - he went on to score 21 goals in that season - were followed by two from Nathan in the 2009/10 season when Sharpy only made 13 appearances and Nathan stepped in as a lone-striker for many of the games. His hat-tricks came in a 6-3 defeat to AFC Blackshots and a 3-0 win against Lakeside. Nathan's aim of out-doing Sharpy's goal tally from the previous year didn't quite happen as he finished with a very respectable 19 goals. Sharpy returned full time (more or less) in 2010/11 and picked up his third hat-trick in a 9-1 demolition of Kaktus (I think the vulture analogy is justified).

It's probably obvious that over the last 4 seasons the majority of our goals have come from Sharpy and Nathan, but I wonder if they realised how close their goal tallies are over this time. Before this game, Nathan had just over-taken Sharpy with 40 goals compared to Sharpy's 39. With Nathan only netting the once in this game Sharpy has now taken the lead with 42 against Nathan's 41. Whilst I have no idea how many goals each can claim prior to 2008/09, I'm sure Sharpy will be looking back and thinking what might have been if he had played more games in this time rather than letting his heart rule his head on so many occasions.

*END OF INTERMISSION*

Milesy made his final substitution, and decided to give Deano a well deserved early bath (not technically true as Deano is in the SDG - Soap Dodgers Gang - but you know what I mean). This meant a bit of a reshuffled, with the arm band passing to Nathan who begrudgingly moved to centre midfield, whilst Mikey moved to right back (an experience he described as being the most boring he has had in an Oaks shirt) and Harry came on to attempt to get in on the goal scoring action.

With Sharpy continuing to keep us entertained with comical misses it was down to other Oaks players to take on the job of putting the ball in the net, and the 9th goal was definitey worth waiting for. Bunny won possession just outside the box, and as the ball came down he smashed it on the half volley sending it like a rocket out of reaching of the despairing reach of the keeper into the far corner, and literally pulling the pegs out of the ground. A goal of such quality was wasted on this game, but a great goal it was nonetheless, and a clear contender for the non-existent goal of the season award: 0-9.

Some argue that the linesman's flag should have prevented H from getting on the score sheet, but the only thing Tapsell had raised was his phone to his ear, and with both Sharpy and H clear on the defense Sharpy gave H the easiest of tap ins. 0-10.

It was fitting that Ryan scored the eleventh and final goal as his tireless running down the left had epitomised all that was good about this performance. A throw-in from Nathan in the right back position was meant to be collected by Ryan on the half way line, but a Beauchamps player made it into an even better ball as he headed it back towards his on goal for Ryan to run on to. He still had a lot to do, but under pressure in the box turned inside his marker and then back outside before supplying the clinical finish with his left foot: 0-11.

I shouldn't finish without giving some credit to the way Beauchamps conducted themselves despite such a heavy defeat. You may say that they should be disappointed with themselves for not putting up more of a fight, but at least they could see the funny side and didn't look to spoil the game as some might in this situation.

It was great to be able to relax, knowing that the 3 points were in the bag from so early on in the game, but we musn't let this make us complacent. Next week we come up against another unknown quantity in Socketts Heath, and we are going to need to be at our best to make sure they realise that any hopes they might have of preventing the Oaks Athletic being engraved on the Division two league winners trophy at the end of the season are mere delusions.

Eye-Ball

Next Game: Sunday 11th March @ home v Socketts Heath: 10:30 K.O.