Our opponents this week may change their name more than the weather - Asda Tilbury became Anchor Tilbury became Tilbury United - but what you get from them has never changed. You know it's going to be a scrap, they are going to kick you at every opportunity and give you no time on the ball, and you're going to get more aggro from their supporters than from the players themselves. Having said that, they have also improved as a footballing side over the last few years, and the whipping boys who were Asda Tilbury even gained promotion to the 1st division two years ago as Anchor Tilbury (handing out a double header thrashing to the Oaks in the process, with Jordan's goal being the only thing we wanted to remember for that encounter). The 1st division provided a far less pleasing experience for them, and it would be interesting to see what sort of a team they had now they were back in the 3rd tier of the Thurrock Sunday League. What we found ourselves up against was a team that lacked a real cutting edge in attack, but defended with enough pace and determination to succeed where no other team has done in our league so far, in keeping Harry, Nick and co. under wraps.
Milesy was once again blessed with countless options as 21 of the 25 man squad turned up willing to take a shirt if asked. There was also the added bonus of having Ryan back from injury, Tapsell returning from international duty, and Brownie looking particularly buff (all will be explained).
Milesy was obviously reluctant to change the team that had done so well against Pegasus last week, and apart from replacing Bunny with Whiley and moving Eye-Ball to midfield, the team was the same as the starting eleven from the week before:
ppppppppppppppppTy
LukeppppppRobppppDeano (c)ppppWhiley
Eye-BallppppppMikey BpppppTapsellppppppAl
ppppppppppNickppppHarry
subs: Parker, Steve, Ryan, Gollum, Nathan, Sharpy, Niki, Jordan, Joe, Gavin
Watchers: Ryan's Dad, Aaron Bass, Becky and kids, and Sharpy's mates from the Ship.
In a change from the usual New Player Intro, I'd like to introduce a new feature I'm calling:
Losing Touch With Reality
This week staring the two Steves - the Oaks favourite double act.
Manager Milesy's match-day programme address
It's great to see a full house once again at the John Smiths Arena, the home of five times Christmas Pub Brawl Champions The Oaks Athletic. Your unwavering support is truly humbling given our awful performance last week, when you witnessed us throw away a one goal league, to lose 2-1 to our arch rivals - the Elephants in Pink Fluffy Tutus KFC. It's not easy being a manager, especially when a week of preparation is thrown out of the window, as you walk into the dressing room minutes before the game only to find that your in-form flame haired midfield play maker has been called up to win his first cap for Wales. Still the boys rallied well to take the lead, but when we were pegged back and 2-1 down I knew I had to make an attacking change. However, when I turned to the bench Paddy (you know, the one from Gypsy Weddings) and Harold Bishop were nowhere to be seen - apparently they'd run off to the chippy - unbelievable! Gollum had also vanished (he was last seen rubbing the tiny strands of hair that had appeared on his head whilst hissing "my precious") and I was almost desperate enough to put Parker on, but luckily Steve "six pack" Browne stepped forward to argue his case to be thrown on. He said to me:
"Darling Steve; surely after whipping me into shape in that hotel room last week you must have wanted to give me the chance to prove myself. I know I've had four bottles of Stella (other brands of beers are also available), and that nothing good ever came out of Belgium (apart from Kim Clijsters and Jean-Claude Van Damme) but I feel in the best shape of my life thanks to you and want to repay you in the only way I know how..."
I couldn't really argue with that, and as I slapped him on the right butt-cheek as he strode purposefully onto the pitch through a blizzard of bubbles, it finally dawned on me: a whole pack of Baby Bells and 12 Dairylea triangles (other brands of processed cheese are also available) before going to bed was probably a bad idea.
I'd advise Brownie to stick to San Miguel as well...
No one is more meticulous in their pre-match preparation than Brownie
Back in the bleak reality that is the Daisyfield we had an actual (although probably less interesting) game of football to play. The Oaks started really well with lots of promising moves developing from Taps and Mikey playing the ball out to Al and Eye-Ball on the flanks, who were offering quite different options. Al was linking up well with Harry on the left, whilst Eye-Ball was looking to exploit the space left by the Tilbury left full-back, who was playing more like a centre-back.
Although Eye-Ball made some good progress to the bye-line, the final ball was somewhat lacking, and it was Al who was involved in most of the best goal scoring chances that we created. On one occasion he attempted to curl the ball across the keeper, but couldn't direct his shot on target, but then he created an even better chance to put the Oaks ahead. Al made good progress into the box, drew the defender, and unselfishly laid the ball off to Nick, who found himself in acres of space on the edge of the six yard box. With the goal at his mercy, Nick was inflicted with a severe case of the Yips, and shot high and wide of the target.
Despite the disappointment at not taking the lead (with no-one feeling worse than Nick himself) we had no reason to panic, as Deano, Rob, Whiley, Luke and Ty were having no problem dealing with the long ball tactics of our opponents. Ty did have to rush out of his goal to beat the Tilbury striker to the ball (and receive a kick to the bargain), and scramble to gather the ball as it ran lose in the area, but that was it.
However, the Oaks have gone behind against the run of play more than once already this season, and looked to have done so again as Rob could only get enough on a long free kick into the box to increase the pace with which the ball flew into the back of the net.
We all know that Sharpy lives, breathes and sleeps (although I don't know about his dreams) the Oaks, but we also know he is far too honest for his own good. Therefore as we walked back to the half way line to prepare to get back into the game, we were all surprised to turn round to see Sharpy with his flag raised and talking to the ref. It transpired that at least two of the Tilbury players had been offside when the ball was played in, and Sharpy had correctly raised his flag to indicate this. Now it is the referee's job to decide whether or not they were interfering with play, and the general consensus was that, as Rob had won the header without being under any particular pressure then the goal should stand. However, the ref chose to go with the flag, and awarded a free kick to the Oaks.
I probably don't need to explain that Tilbury United were less than pleased with this outcome, although Sharpy received relatively few words from the players. His main cause for concern was the irate supporter who had decided Sharpy needed to be taught a lesson for being a man of such loose morals (obviously I've translated the actual words used). And while he was at it, he was also going to invite Rob, Mikey and Deano to join the class. As it was, we were proud to see a calmer, more reserved version of Sharpy than we have previously witnessed in these situations, and nothing more transpired (off the pitch at least).
For the rest of us, our punishment for somehow denying Tilbury the lead was to be kicked, pushed and generally maimed at any opportunity. Eye-Ball was the first to discover this as he was the unlucky recipient of the attention of three of the Tilbury players as he received the ball from the offside free-kick. Fortunately he avoided becoming the meat in a very angry sandwich and we all survived to half time.
Milesy made just the one change at half time with Ryan coming on as a direct replacement for Al. The Tilbury full back must have wondered what he had done to deserve such torture, and as Al finished tormenting him Ryan straight away showed his intention to run him ragged and turn him inside out for the forthcoming 45 minutes.
As it happened, apart from a few clear chances it was the defences who dominated, with the two centre back captains leading by example. Deano had by far his best game of the season, and was an absolute colossus - winning the ball in the air, reading the game to intercept through balls and beat the forward to the ball when it was played up from midfield, reacting first to head the ball away as it bounced back off the cross bar, and even going on his own jinxing run before releasing the ball to Ryan to carry on his good work. The icing on the cake came when Ty could only get enough on an attempted chip to parry the ball up into the air. We all watched on (yes, we know Ty) as the ball bounced agonisingly towards our virgin goal, but were able to breathe a huge sigh of relief as Deano was on hand to keep her pure and kick the ball off the line to safety.
Deano gets so feed up of waiting for the Oaks end of season awards night that he buys his own trophy (also the first sighting of the new purple kit)
Ty's good form continued as he made the initial save when the ball bounced up onto the bar, and was called upon to make another good low save when the Tilbury player shot from a tight angle. Whiley must also get special praise for an outstanding block on the edge of the six yard box that prevented a certain goal and sent the ball spinning over the bar for a corner.
I briefly mentioned the Tilbury skipper who, along with his band of merry (I'm not saying anything about what they might have been smoking) defensive men, did a pretty good job of shackling Harry and preventing Nick from having enough time on the ball to link up with the midfield.
Our best chance of the half was started and finished by Ryan, who drew a round of applause from the gathering crowd as he skipped passed his man, keeping on his feet in the box, despite the obvious contact, to beat a second man and shoot firmly at goal. Unfortunately the keeper was equal to the effort on this occasion and the deadlock still could not be broken.
I haven't said much about the midfield up to this point, but for humanitarian reasons I should just say that it was a mine-field. The tackles were flying in, and although Taps and Mikey had to assume a more industrious role on this occasion they were more than a match for their opponents, who disappeared for the last fifteen minute to allow our centre pairing to dominate and dictate proceedings to the final whistle.
Those watching the game have said that, despite there being no goals (sort of), it was an enthralling contest. It was so tight in fact, that Milesy really didn't feel he could make any more changes, as even a momentary unbalancing of the team could have made all the difference to the outcome. He was forced to make one change however, as Eye-Ball pulled up lame with cramp in the last ten having never recovered from the lung bursting 30 yard run from inside his own half to make a crunching block tackle on his helpless victim (you can open your eyes now Niki). Jordan replaced Eye-Ball on the right and showed what we had been missing with some good deliveries that caused the Tilbury defence some head-aches.
The game finished 0-0, and although we left the field frustrated at a referee who had given countless incorrect decisions, and taken no action to discourage Tilbury's sustained revenge attack, we also felt that, if it meant we could walk away from the Daisyfields alive, perhaps nil-nil was a fair result.
Eye-Ball
Proof that the continental influence has even spread to the grass roots of the English game
Next game: Sunday 13th November Away @ The Gateway Academy v Jurgens
TRAINING: Steve gave a good talk in the dressing room before the game to make it clear that, despite the obvious difficulty he is having in getting everyone a game, he sees this as being the one of the best squads he has had in his 15 years at the club, and wants everyone to stick around to find out what being an Oaks player is all about. To this end it is vital that everyone has the opportunity to gel, and we must thank Sharpy for organising a weekly training session to help with this. We know that not everyone will be able to attend regularly (myself included), and those who can't attend won't be penalised come Sunday. However, please do try and get along if you can, as this is not something we have done as a squad for a very long time.
Training will be at St Cleres School, Stanford-le-Hope, on a Friday night from 7-8. Starting on Friday 18th November (so don't turn up this week)! Make sure you have some money with you to contribute to the cost of the pitch.
Goals/Assist Chart
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