Thameside 0 - 1 Oaks Athletic (Division 2 Cup)

I imagine Thameside will be glad to see the back of The Oaks this season, and to be honest we won't miss playing Thameside despite the fact that this was the third time we had beaten them in three encounters. There may well be more technically gifted teams in the league, but there surely isn't a harder working one than Thameside. For 90 minutes they press, and hurry their opponents into making mistakes. They give so much in every game that you can't help but feel that they deserve to get something from the match. Unfortunately for them, The Oaks are now a team who expect to win regardless of how hard the opposition try, and despite not being at their best on this occasion, still advanced to the next round of the league cup.

This was a day for a bit of nostalgia as we were reminded of certain elements of the Oaks of old. Firstly the sight of a small dog in matching team colours lead one of the assembled players to remark that we could put our loyal mascot, Jake in an Oaks purple shirt. Unfortunately Jake is no longer with us, but I'm sure he would have worn the Oaks shirt with pride.



An unshaven John Motson wishes someone had told him it was TV rather than Radio coverage.

Then there was the presence of an old Oaks servant and captain, who was there to watch his son play. It was really good to see Stu and hopefully he can make it along next week to join us for a beer.



Don't you hate it when you forget to take the coat hanger out of your shirt.

Finally, our preparation for this game was more like the Oaks of old: with a few minutes to go till kick-off we were still missing 2 of our starting eleven (including the goal keeper), and when they did turn up they added to the significant number of Oaks players who were still pissed from the night before. Still, we managed to start on time with eleven players and set about getting to the next round of a cup we should seriously be looking to win.

With Ty suffering from a dodgy hip, Luke was given the chance to impress in goal as much as he has at full-back. Surprisingly the Oaks were short of defensive cover on this occasion, and so Deano slotted into the hole left by Luke at right back whilst Nathan moved to centre-back. This then meant a start on the right for Jordan.

ppppppppppppppppLuke
Deano (c)ppppppRobppppNathanppppEye-Ball

JordanppppppMikey BpppppTapsellppppppRyan

ppppppppppNickppppHarry

subs: Joe, Sharpy, Gavin

The first half was somewhat of a blur for a large contingent of the Oaks players who had basically walked out from the changing rooms and straight onto the pitch to start the game. This was the case for no-one more so than Taps, whose over excuberence in the celebration of his birthday the night before had left him a shadow of his former self. The boisterous and bustling midfielder, who has driven us forward up to now, was was nowhere to be seen (unless you looked up to where Nick and Harry were stood) or heard for much of the first half. You wont be surprised to hear then that he created the best chance of the opening period, when the ball sat up for him on the edge of the area and he unleashed a stinging drive that was acrobatcially sent round the post by the Thameside keeper.

The Oaks continued to show what a good footballing side they have become as they looked to break down the stubborn Thameside defence, and when Jordan played the ball into the box from the right, it looked like Ryan's first touch off his chest may carry him and the ball past the back line and into a good scoring position. However, Ryan had underestimated the appetitie of the Thameside centre back pairing, who made him the meat in their sandwich and sent him crashing to the ground.

The lack of hesitation from the referee in awarding the penalty was only trumped by the speed with which the BFJ strode forward to pick up the ball and place it on the spot, whilst around him the debate continued about all should take the kick. No one would argue that your penalty taker needs to be confident that they are going to score, and nomination by committee isn't going to guarentee that. Nick left no one with any doubt that he was the right man for the job as he strode up to the ball and smashed it with venom into the corner of the net and out of the keepers reach: 0-1.

Thameside's never say die attitude shone through after this goal as they took control of the last quarter of the half. The Oaks in contrast were guilty of sitting off and letting Thameside pull the strings, and we were indepted to the second most enibriabted player on the pitch - Luke - for pulling off a superb double save to first dive right and stop and firmly hit shot from outside the area, and to then block the rebound shot with his knees. Luke wore the Oaks new green goalkeeper kit for the first time on this occasion, and whilst he looked as resplendant as Ty, his stature means that the Poddington Pea comparison really doesn't work. Fortunately Deano (the third most inhibriated player on the pitch) was able to manage a rare moment of clarity; and it was thus that the Runner Bean was born.

There was one additional scare when a mix up between Eye-Ball and Harry (the former leaving the ball for the latter, and the latter not wanting to get his new official Oaks Athletic purple boots dirty) presented the winger with a clear run on goal, but fortunately his shot was wide of the goal.



Sharpy regrets assuming his campaign for a gold kit would be successful

Deano then completed the domination of the drunks as he entered into a bizarre confrontation with Thameside's mouthy manager, who had taken exception to Harry swinging an arm in reacting to having his shirt held whilst trying to run onto a quick free-kick by Deano. The free-kick had been awarded following a late tackle on Deano to which Deano (who was wearing his angry green drunk hat), had reacted badly. He then mis-interpreted the Thameside manager's rant at him about Harry's swing as accusing him of throwing an elbow, which Deano was denying whilst explaining what would happen if he did want to elbow the player who had fouled him, which the Thameside manager took as vindication from the Oaks skipper for the use of the elbow. And so it went on to the half-time whistle.

The second half really had no significant moments of note, with both defences controlling the game. The Runner Bean made the six yard box his own, Nathan and Rob won every ball at the back, and Mikey continued to boss the midfield. Equally dogged work from the Thameside rear guard meant chances were at a premium, and the Oaks displayed the necessary grit to see out the rest of the game and progress to the next round of the cup.

The day got even better as we heard the news that we had even improved our strangle hold on the league thanks to a shock victory for Jacks Lads over Beauchamps.

This was our last game of the year, and was a fitting way to finish what has been a very succesful and memorable 2011 for the Oaks.

Eye-Ball

Goal Scoring Chart




Next game: Sunday 8th January @ home v Tilbury United.

Oaks Athletic 2 - 1 Jacks Lads

The Oaks won their sixth game of the season, and extended their unbeaten start to 9 games, which is the best run they have had for at least 10 years (and possibly ever). With other results going their way (both Beauchamps and Wilburn lost) they also extended their lead at the top of the league to 4 points.



Games involving the Oaks are becoming as predictable as a budget porn movie. We soften up the opposition and take the lead, but rather than finishing the job early we over do the foreplay, concede a sloppy goal and let the opposition think they can get away with more than they bargained for. Eye-Ball takes one in the face, and we rely on Harry to provide the money shot. Although it might not be pretty the desired outcome is achieved, and as it is people only really tune in to see the t....(team) and ch....(chart).

Milesy made two changes for this game as Niki came in for his first start to replace the injured Deano, and Sharpy was given a run upfront in place of Nick.

ppppppppppppppppTy

LukeppppppRobppppNikippppEye-Ball

Nathan (c)ppppppMikey BpppppTapsellppppppRyan

ppppppppppSharpyppppHarry

subs: Steve, Gavin, Jordan, Joe, Nick

New player introduction: Niki "Lawsie" Laws

Best attributes Provides a vocal presence at the heart of defence, and has a a level head that is sometimes lacking in the Oaks team. Great positional sense and strong in the air, Niki's composure and love of defending make him a perfect addition to a defensive unit that is probably the best in the league (but then I would say that).

Lawsie joins an elite group of Oaks players who: have an officially trademarked Oaks Athletic nickname; joining Eye-Ball, Tapsie, Steptoe, Weeeeeeed, the BFJ, No-Fun and "that nob in the purple shirt" (a general nickname that is shared around as required).

The Oaks took the lead in the first half when a good passing move lead to Nathan's near post shot being well saved by the keeper. Nathan did eventually finish the job from Ryan's inswinging corner, as he rose highest to head home from six yards: 1-0.

The Oaks were unable to increase their lead in the first half despite totally dominating the opposition, and when half-time eventually arrived the score was 1-0.

The second half didn't go as well as planned and we conceded a bizarre goal to let Jacks Lads back into the game. Under pressure from three opposition players, Ty failed to gather the ball cleanly in the area, and as the ball broke and was fired across goal Robbie instinctively threw up an arm to clear the ball from danger.

I felt a little sorry for the referee who was being watch by an assessor and, like a teacher on Ofsted, went completely over the top with his application of the laws of the game. Prior to the match we were lined up like naughty school children on the edge of the 18 yard box as our boots and attire were scrutinised, and anyone straying from the line was reprimanded. We were told everything would be by the book, but unfortunately for him he had some decisions to make in this game that needed a bit more knowledge than the correct procedure for a substitution. The first big decision was to award a penalty when Weed had the flag raised for offside, and to only book Robbie when it was clear that he was going to send him off before Nathan convinced him otherwise. The penalty was converted (twice) and the Oaks had let the opposition back into the game. 1:1.

The rest of the half was full of missed chances: Sharpy's shot went wide when the keeper dropped the ball at his feet, Nathan was unable to convert a chance from the right that is usually his bread and butter, Tapsell's drilled free kick went wide of the goal by a gnat's whisker, and Mikey's left footed dipping volley from the edge of the area was deflected from the top corner by the flying Jacks Lads keeper.

All these missed opportunities put more pressure on the Oaks defence to keep out the opposition, which they did by any means possible, including Eye-Ball blocking a rasping volley from point blank range with his face. The opposition actually seemed to show more concern than his team mates, but then this isn't an unfamiliar sight for them.

Not for the first time this season, it was our two youngest players (the acorns you could say...) who showed the rest of us how it should be done. Ryan broke from midfield and played the ball out to Harry on the left. He advanced towards the goal, and although his shot wasn't great, it had enough pace to squeeze through the keeper's legs and trickle over the line: 2-1.

The Oaks held on to the lead for the remaining twenty minutes, with the game ending in bizarre circumstances as Nick - who had come on for Sharpy - tried to slow down the keeper as he looked to take a quick goal kick. Nick then put the player on the edge of the area under pressure, won the ball and then was brought down as he looked to round the keeper. The ref's immediate reaction was to point to the spot, but then with Nick rolling around on the ground indecision seemed to set in again. Should Nick have been penalised for being in the area when the goal kick was taken? Had he played advantage that had then ended by the time Nick regained possession? Should the penalty stand in which case would he have to send the keeper off? Or could he avoid making any decision at all by blowing the final whistle before any definitive action was taken?

You can probably guess what he went for, much to the annoyance and surprise of many of the Oaks players who were busy discussing who was to be given the opportunity to climb the goal scoring chart.

While this strange ending took some gloss of the result, we should be pleased to get another three points, and shouldn't be surprised that teams like Jacks Lads are proving a tougher challenge the second time round. I don't know what people used to think when they saw a game against the Oaks on the fixture list, but imagine that while they expected a tough encounter, they would have felt three point should be achievable. Now we are the team everyone wants to beat rather than the team that should be beaten, and everyone is going to raise their game against us as they look to be the first to slay the mighty Oaks. As long as we can keep our game above the level of our opposition (as we are more than capable of doing), there is no reason why we can't carry on winning.

Eye-Ball

Goal scoring chart

Oaks Athletic 2 - 2 Pegasus Coryton

The fact that we were disappointed to only take a point from this game, despite showing good character in twice coming from behind, says a lot about the high expectation of the Oaks players this season. Both individually and as a team, we failed to match the high standards we have set so far this season. However, it is inevitable that we will have some bad days at the office, but the fact we still took something from the game (and in doing so matched the 2005/06 feat of 8 games unbeaten) should give us a lot of encouragement.

With Wilburn playing a cup match, the single point we took from this game meant we could only lose our position at the top of the table if Beauchamps scored heavily and won by two clear goals. As it happened our old friends Thameside did us a big favour by beating them 3-1. This means we can more or less say we are now top on merit given we have played the same number of games as Wilburn, and Beauchamps would need to win their game in hand by a big margin to overtake us on goal difference.


Three weeks at the top - surely not another record!

Steve once again felt he couldn't risk changing a winning side and apart from Nathan starting for Sharpy, the starting eleven was the same as the previous week:

ppppppppppppppppTy

LukeppppppRobppppDeano (c)ppppEye-Ball

NathanppppppMikey BpppppTapsellppppppRyan

ppppppppppNickppppHarry

subs: Parker, Steve, Gollum, Whiley, Sharpy, Niki, Jordan, Joe, Gavin

The Oaks started the game with a real swagger, and looked confident as they passed the ball around between the back four and the midfield. The Blackshots weather was once again going to prove a key factor, as a strong wind blew down the hill towards the far corner. Pegasus were playing with the wind in the first half, and struggled to play the ball through to their front men, as more often than not the wind would take hold and send it out of play.

Pegasus are well known for having one of the best, and largest, pitches in the league. However, this really doesn't seem to suit them as their uncharacteristic bad start to the season has mainly been due to the fact that they have lost all four of their home games, conceding 15 goals in the process (5 of them against the Oaks). They have enjoyed playing on their travels far more, and before this game had won two (including beating Beauchamps at Blackshots) and lost just the once. Perhaps we should offer to swap home pitches?

It was obvious that the smaller Blackshots pitch was helping the Pegasus defence, as Harry and Nick had a lot less space to run in to. Therefore despite all our possession, clear cut chances were at a premium, with the best efforts coming from Tapsell - who tested the opposition's short stand-in keeper with a floating shot which almost bounced in - and Harry who hit the outside of the post from a tight angle.

In the open exchanges, possibly the biggest threat for both teams was the referee. I can understand why Milesy thinks he is one of the better ref's in the league, as his arrogance and bloody mindedness would be perfect for one of the rougher encounters (our recent game against Tilbury being a prime example). However, the way he chose to conduct himself in this game was nothing short of ridiculous. The Oaks have always had a great deal of respect for Pegasus Coryton, and our games against them have always been hard thought but fair - with this one being no exception. How the referee found reason to book no less than three players for fouls that were first time offences and warranted a talking to at best was a mystery. The most frustrating thing is that a £10 fine actually makes a dent in the pocket of your average Sunday league footballer, and when he is penalised for making a genuine attempt to win the ball rather than talking himself into the book, you have to feel sorry for him.

The way the referee spoke to the players was also getting every one's backs up, as awards of free kicks would be accompanied by threats of what would come if it happened again, and comments that were designed to convince us of how right he was that only succeeded in adding to the frustration with some of his awful decisions. He also seemed to love starting arguments, as if he wanted the players to give him an excuse to get his little book out. Apologies for ranting on, but this guy seemed so determined to be the focal point and prevent us having a good, fun game, that I wouldn't want to upset him more by not giving him his own write up.

There were far too many bewildering decisions to list, but one stand-out one lead to the opening goal, against the run of play for Pegasus. When a throw-in was taken on the left by the half way line, Eye-Ball lent into his man with his hands clearly out to his side and the whistle was blown. This seemed harsh, but some refs don't like any sort of contact in these situations. To confirm that this was indeed the case Eye-Ball enquired as to the reason for the decision, at which point he was told he had pushed the player in the back with his hands! We then had no one to blame for falling into the trap of concentrating our efforts on questioning the decision rather than organising ourselves defensively, and when the ball was swung in we were in no position to prevent Pegasus's human tank from bulldozing the ball into the back of the net: 0-1.

This goal knocked the Oaks a little, and when the half time whistle came, it gave us a much needed opportunity to regroup.

The goal for Pegasus proved to be a much needed tonic, and suddenly any thoughts of our previous 5-1 demolition was forgotten as they now had the belief that the Oaks were beatable. Still, we showed we were prepared to scrap all the way and continued to win the key battles, especially the aerial balls in midfield where Mikey and Tapsell reigned supreme.

It didn't take long for the Oaks to get back on level terms, as Harry once again demonstrated that he only needs a sniff at goal to make things happen. Nathan won the ball in midfield from a Pegasus goal kick unchallenged, and nodded the ball back over the defence. Harry reacted quickest, and as the ball came down he steered it first time past the on-rushing keeper and into the net: 1-1.

With over half an hour left the Oaks now believed they could go on to win the game, but unliked our previous encounter with Pegasus, everything we touched turned to sludge rather than gold. Luke and Ryan's corners were causing particular problems, and there was a suggestion that at least two goal line clearances may have been after the ball had already crossed the line. One looked like it hit the top of the net and came out (a lesson for those putting up the nets) whilst Ryan's in swinging corner may have had help from the wind in sending it into the net before the clearance came. Nathan also almost scored with a diving header, but was put under pressure by our very own Robbie Lawrence and headed the ball over.

The best chance by far for the Oaks to take the lead came when Harry played an inviting ball across the box to the far post where an Oaks player was waiting unmarked. 99 times out of 100 you would put all Sharpy's money on this player burying the ball, but as it was even two swipes weren't enough for Nathan to finish the job on this occasion.

As if Nathan didn't feel bad enough, he then took the blame for the Oaks going behind when, after being moved to centre back to allow Sharpy to come on in midfield, Nathan missed an overhead clearance (again a 1 in 100 occurrence), and the Pegasus striker raced clear to score. This was only the third proper attempted they had created in the game (the second lead to the ball being blasted over from 8 yards), but it was enough to put them in a good position to take all three points: 1-2.

Most of the players in the current Oaks side have tasted plenty of defeat in the past, but our recent good form has obviously left us with a more refined palette; and losing is most definitely off the menu.

Within minutes we were back on level terms, as Tapsell found himself with time and space on the edge of the penalty area. With options left and right, he made the wise decision to play the ball to Ryan, who had been left totally unmarked on the left hand side of the box. Those who felt Ryan had waited too long to pull the trigger were proved wrong, as he unleashed a rasping side footed shot that flew over the keeper before hitting the underside of the crossbar and bouncing over the line. He may have displayed a Balotelli-esq lack of emotion on getting the Oaks back in the game, but I'm sure deep down he was as happy as the rest of us (and almost as happy as I imagine his dad, Alec, was on seeing him get up in the first half after fearing any chance of grand children may have been lost).

Despite our best efforts to grab all three points, it wasn't to be on this occasion and we had to settle for just the one. Still, at least it means Ty still shouldn't be allowed to cut his hair. If his challenge only applies to league games, a win next week could mean Cousin It will be carving the Owen Christmas Turkey this year.

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 4th December @ Home v Jacks Lads - 1030 K.O.

Thameside 1 - 2 Oaks Athletic

The Oaks Athletic juggernaut continues to gather speed, as first half goals from Ryan and Nick helped the boys in Purple record their 5th win of the season, and extended their unbeaten start to 7 games.

I'm not sure I can recall the last time the Oaks were top of the league, and I don't think I made enough of this fact last week. Fortunately the win kept us top for a second week running, so I have the opportunity to capture the moment now:


It's funny to recall where Belhus's one point came from...

The victory is made more impressive given the disruptions caused by the weather, the time keeping of the referee and the limited Billet facilities. We turned up at the ground to be met be dense fog, with the pessimists amongst us being adamant that the game would not be played. However, the "glass half full" types were confident that once you got into the fog and stood on the half way line, you could clearly see both goals. However, there was no point getting changed until the referee had confirmed that he was happy for the game to go ahead, which he did when he finally turned up at 10.05. Further disruption was then caused as we had to wait for a room to become free for us to change. This meant limited warm up time and an unnecessarily late kick-off.

The one problem caused by the continued good form of the Oaks is that it is obviously hard for Milesy to change a winning side, and despite the countless options available the manager made just one change from the previous week with Sharpy getting his first start on the right hand side of midfield:

ppppppppppppppppTy

LukeppppppRobppppDeano (c)ppppEye-Ball

SharpyppppppMikey BpppppTapsellppppppRyan

ppppppppppNickppppHarry

subs: Parker, Steve, Gollum, Whiley, Nathan, Niki, Jordan, Joe, Gavin

The disruptions seemed to have affected Thameside more than The Oaks, as the away side started brightly. The home side were not allowed any time on the ball, and the Thameside goal was soon under siege.

It wasn't long until the deadlock was broken as Sharpy collected the ball on the right hand side and played a delightful ball down the line with his left foot for the eager Harry to run on to. He glided into the box, and unselfishly crossed low for Ryan - who had timed his run perfectly - to calmly slot the ball home with the outside of his right foot back across the scampering and wrong footed keeper:: 0 - 1.

There is rarely a dull moment when Sharpy is on the pitch, but it was good to see him continue to warrant mention thanks to his involvement in goal scoring opportunities for the Oaks. He had two chances to bury headers from excellent Luke corners that would usually be bread and butter, but obviously match fitness is still causing an issue as he failed to make proper contact with either.

We didn't have to wait long for the lead to be doubled as Eye-Ball overlapped on the left to receive a pass from Ryan. A late call from Tapsell caused him to change his original plan to send Ryan down the line, and although the pass to Tapsell was a poor one, Taps' determination lead to the ball being won back. Although Tapsell's low shot was well saved by the keeper, Nick (aka the BFJ) showed the greatest desire to get to the loose ball and held of the defender to slot home into an empty net: 0 - 2.

I would argue that the BFJ had his best game of the season, and is starting to develop a really good relationship with his striking partner Harry. I don't know what the two of them talk about while they are watching the rest of us defend, but whatever plans they are concocting seem to be working. The plan appears to be to get close to one another, with Harry sitting on the last man and Nick coming deeper to win the ball and flick on first time for his mate to run on to. This proved very effective in the first half of this game, and showed what a valuable asset the BFJ is for the Oaks when he keeps things simple and looks to use his ability to create space for others, which gives the Oaks a cutting edge in attack.

The Oaks settled back five looked totally at ease in the first half, with their lives being made easier by the way in which Mikey and Tapsell were once again dominating the midfield battle. Thameside showed no signs of being able to threaten Ty's recent run of clean sheets and the half finished at 0-2.

Milesy made just the one change at half time, with Nathan replacing Sharpy who would have done his fitness no harm with a busy 45 minute outing.

The Oaks continued in the second half where they had left off in the first, as they went in search of the third goal that would confirm the points. The best chances fell to Nick, whose header from 6 yards drew a remarkable reaction save from the keeper, and Mikey who drilled the ball sweetly towards goal as it fell to him following a set piece, only for the Thameside defender to block the shot on the line.

Anyone who thinks we can maintain the high standards we have set for 90 minutes in every game obviously hasn't heard of some of The Oaks most impressive under achievements: Rec Rover 2010, Linford Wanderers 2009 and FC Deportivo Thurrock 2008 are just a few that spring to mind. One thing all these disappointing performances had in common is that they all followed good results from the previous week.

We've already shown that we can string commanding performances together this season, and the fact that we held out to win this game despite being well below par for the last 25 minutes should be taken as a big positive. We completely lost our shape and composure, and seemed to have forgotten who was on our team and therefore who to pass the ball to. To give credit to our opposition, they finally started to put us under the kind of sustained pressure that we expected, and started to make better use of their possession.

Despite this, it was still unexpected to see Thameside pull a goal back to set up a tense final 5 minutes. Interestingly we have now conceded 6 goals in the 7 games we have played, with half of them being scored by Thameside. Add to this the fact that all three goals have been handed on a plate following individual errors, and you can really see why most forwards wish they had stayed in bed when they come up against the Oaks defence. If the Oaks had kept their third clean sheet in a row, it would have been roughly 315 minutes since Ty had last picked the ball out of the net. Unfortunately it turned out to only be 310 minutes as Ty - whose great recent form has been key to keeping the door to the Oaks goal shut - had a moment to forget when he kicked more ground than ball in attempting to clear a back pass from Deano, and presented the Thameside midfielder with an easy finish into an empty net from 9 yards: 1-2.

I must admit to contemplating what a travesty it would have been for us to gain any less than three points from a game that we had dominated for such large periods. I shouldn't have worried as all eleven players dug deep, with Joe and Steve working as hard as anyone following their introduction for Nick and an injured Luke, and the final whistle that confirmed another three points came as something of a relief.

Well done everyone, and lets make sure we don't slip up in the next two weeks as we take on two more teams who we have already beaten this season. Beauchamps and Wilburn are matching us win for win, and we want to ensure that they can't win the league without getting past us first.

Eye-Ball

Next game: At Home v Pegasus Coryton @ Blackshots - Be there early to put the goals up!

Jurgens Sports 0 - 3 Oaks Athletic

As the Oaks extended their unbeaten start to the season to 6 games with another dominate display, Tyrone revealed that he has vowed not to cut his hair until the Oaks lose. The prospect of seeing Ty sporting an alice band should be all the incentive the rest of us need to keep this impressive run going for as long as we can.

Everyone likes a good stat, and although I'm wary of jinxing the team, the numbers for The Oaks' season to date are pretty impressive:

- our unbeaten league run currently stands at 6 games for the season (DWWWDW)
- this is two behind our best run (from data available on league website) of 8 games unbeaten (WWWDWWWW) in 2005/06 when we gained promotion from the old league 3B
- I think that there are 6 members of the current squad who were in the side in 2005/06 (Rob, Deano, Parker, Gollum, Nathan and Sharpy). Plus Milesy of course
- if you include last season, our current unbeaten league run actually stretches to 11 games! (DDDWWDWWWDW)
- we have kept 3 clean sheets already this season (our best over the previous 7 seasons was 6 in 05/06)

Before the game had even kicked off, the signs weren't good. Half the team had been out on the lash the day before; either watching England beat the World champions, or playing drinking Monopoly (you'll have to teach us that one Tapsell). To add to this we were put in the girls changing rooms, with individuals showers. There wasn't a problem with the number of showers (the squad is rife with soap dodgers), but I caught a few anxious glances from those who were visibly dejected at the thought of missing out on our weekly shower banter (on the bright side I reckon you could easily fit three people in one of the cubicles).

We then walked out onto the school playing field to find a group of grown men playing with petrol powered planes on pieces of string, and would have to put up with the constant whine of their engines for the whole match. Then there was the pitch: we refer to our pitch as a postage stamp, but this was tiny in comparison - and the goals weren't even as big as they should be (Ty's hair nearly touched the cross bar).

Still, these things are sent to try us, and Milesy chose a starting eleven who he thought would be more than capable of dealing with such distractions:

ppppppppppppppppTy

LukeppppppRobppppDeano (c)ppppEye-Ball

NathanppppppMikey BpppppTapsellppppppRyan

ppppppppppNickppppHarry

subs: Parker, Steve, Gollum, Whiley, Sharpy, Niki, Jordan, Joe, Gavin

It may seem like I'm repeating myself each week, but once again it was fantastic to see so many of the squad turn up. It seems that everyone is willing to wait patiently for their chance to impress Milesy on the pitch, and I know for a fact that everyone who has had that chance has done just that.

New player introduction:

Ryan

Full Name: Ryan Kenyon

Best position: Winger

Best attributes:Lightning pace, great at running with the ball, and the ability to turn defenders inside out. Deceptively strong (maybe even a match for the Titanium Peperami), which has meant he is coping really well with the fact that inferior Sunday League defenders will spend all day trying to kick him up in the air. Good at crossing, an eye for a killer pass and willing to track back and do his bit defensively. I could go on, but then we might not fit his head in our cramped Blackshots dressing room!

Most surprising factRyan was introduced to the Oaks by Sharpy!

This match can be summed up pretty quickly, so for once I'm going to be brief. The Oaks dominated from the first whistle to the last, and never looked in any danger of conceding a goal let alone losing the match. There was some concern when, after half an hour we still hadn't taken the lead. The size of the pitch, combined with a heavy dew was causing problems for our slick passing game. Passes were over-hit or were running out of play when usually there would have been plenty of time to collect the ball. It was also a frustrating game for our wingers - Nathan and Ryan - as hitting the ball past their man would lead to them running out of pitch, and turning inside would see them confronted by centre back and central midfielder (who were basically occupying the same inch of space between the 18 yard box and centre circle).

Given that our attempts to play the ball into the goal were coming to nothing, it took a more direct root to break the deadlock. Nathan took a throw-in on the right into the box, Rob headed it on, and Nick was on hand to rise and head the ball into the goal from 8 yards out: 0-1.

Our very own BFJ (Big Friendly Jamaican) was also heavily involved in the second goal, as he stuck out a leg "donkey style" to redirect the ball over the defence on the right hand side. The defender made a right mess of dealing with the ball, and only succeeded in laying it on a plate for Nathan to race onto and dispatch his trademark finish from a tight angle which, on this occasion, went through the keeper's legs. 0-2.

Nathan's celebration - a back flip with pike - was probably not what the doctor had in mind when he said that Nathan could continue to play football as long as he warmed up and down properly. His excuse was that a lot of the new guys hadn't seen it, and I'm sure future goal celebrations (of which I'm sure there will be many) will be more sedate.

The Oaks strolled to half-time with Milesy's main instruction being to keep it tight and look to finish of the game by finding the third goal that would make it safe.

Harry didn't make it to the end of the match, as his involvement was cut short when he received a stray elbow that lead to an angry H leaving the field with a bloody nose and nothing but a purple sock to stem the bleeding.

Before he left the field he did his bit for the Oaks cause by making the game safe, when he latched onto a fantastic through ball from Mikey. It was far too good for the Jurgens defence to deal with, as was Harry's drop of the shoulder that took him round the keeper to slot home for his 6th goal of the season: 0-3.

The rest of the half was dominated by a hat full of Oaks chances, with only the odd free kick for the home side giving them any hope of troubling Ty (the pitch was so small that even an off-side flag would create an attacking situation).

Harry's early departure gave Sharpy a chance to get a good 25 minutes under his belt, and although his brain was more willing than his legs at times (and that's saying something!) he did show some flashes of what a fully fit Sharpy can offer. Having come on when Harry went off injured, he proceeded to insist on taking the resulting free kick (to be fair it was the right side for a left footer). His effort was on target, but was well saved by the Jurgens Keeper.

Sharpy was also involved in the best move of the half (after Mikey's goal creating pass), when Rob won the ball at the back and played it up to Tapsell. He then passed it to Mikey who moved it on to the BFJ. Nick continued to do what he had done really well all game, as he took one touch before laying it off to Sharpy. Sharpy's nonchalant back heel sent the ball into the path of Ryan, whose shot across the keeper just didn't quite have enough curl to bring it inside the post.

I've already said that the new players need to shine when they get the opportunity, and the two other second half substitutes - Gav for Taps and Jordan for Luke - did just that. Gav is another ball playing centre half in the Tapsell mould, whose composure on the ball and ability to make the simple passes make him exactly the sort of player Milesy likes to see in the centre of midfield, and I'm sure would have been impressed with what he saw. Jordan also worked hard in the short amount of time he had - although Weed's flying slide tackle wasn't to the referee's like - and his deliveries from the right were up to his usual high standards.

Although some players may feel they missed the opportunity to move up the goal scoring chart (ask Nick about his shot from close range that went the wrong side of the post for example),but from a personal point of view it was great to be part of a defence unit (which includes all those who have played in defence this season) that kept yet another clean sheet and to play with a squad of players who are 100% behind each other. Deano has expressed his surprise on a number of occasions that, despite so many new players, there isn't one wally (I'm using a polite term as my Nan read this - hi Nan!) and we definitely don't want anyone to leave the team.

The biggest surprise for me each week is the performances, the results and the manner in which we are winning games. I'm far too used to being part of an Oaks side that you know will give 100%, but will have to battle to grind out a win which would come as predictably as tossing a coin. What I'm seeing now is that, whoever is on the pitch, we still have eleven players who are willing to put their bodies on the line for the team, but that we now have the added ability, class and determination to win to give us justification for thinking we should win every game. Deano sums it up by saying that our game plan was also to win the ball and get it out to Nathan in the hope he could make something happen, now we have a wealth of players who can swing the game in our favour (that's not to say we don't need you Nathan!).

Our biggest enemy will be complacency, and next week we play Thameside again, who we have already beaten 4-2. However, they are doing well in the league (currently sitting 3rd), and last week beat Stanford Wanderers (who themselves have beaten Tilbury twice) 5-0! While we should obviously go into the game full of confidence, we shouldn't think we wont have to work for a win.

Eye-Ball

TRAINING: Just a reminder that training starts tomorrow at St Cleres School (be there at 1845 to give time to set up). Milesy will be looking for people to contribute £10 each for the first five sessions (that's a bargain £2 per week).

Next game: Sunday 20th November Away @ The billet v Thameside: 1030 KO.

Goal Scoring/Assist chart

Tilbury United 0 - 0 Oaks Athletic

The Oaks missed the chance to go top of the league (but still moved up to second) as they battled to a nil-nil draw in their toughest league encounter of the season so far.

Our opponents this week may change their name more than the weather - Asda Tilbury became Anchor Tilbury became Tilbury United - but what you get from them has never changed. You know it's going to be a scrap, they are going to kick you at every opportunity and give you no time on the ball, and you're going to get more aggro from their supporters than from the players themselves. Having said that, they have also improved as a footballing side over the last few years, and the whipping boys who were Asda Tilbury even gained promotion to the 1st division two years ago as Anchor Tilbury (handing out a double header thrashing to the Oaks in the process, with Jordan's goal being the only thing we wanted to remember for that encounter). The 1st division provided a far less pleasing experience for them, and it would be interesting to see what sort of a team they had now they were back in the 3rd tier of the Thurrock Sunday League. What we found ourselves up against was a team that lacked a real cutting edge in attack, but defended with enough pace and determination to succeed where no other team has done in our league so far, in keeping Harry, Nick and co. under wraps.

Milesy was once again blessed with countless options as 21 of the 25 man squad turned up willing to take a shirt if asked. There was also the added bonus of having Ryan back from injury, Tapsell returning from international duty, and Brownie looking particularly buff (all will be explained).

Milesy was obviously reluctant to change the team that had done so well against Pegasus last week, and apart from replacing Bunny with Whiley and moving Eye-Ball to midfield, the team was the same as the starting eleven from the week before:

ppppppppppppppppTy

LukeppppppRobppppDeano (c)ppppWhiley

Eye-BallppppppMikey BpppppTapsellppppppAl

ppppppppppNickppppHarry

subs: Parker, Steve, Ryan, Gollum, Nathan, Sharpy, Niki, Jordan, Joe, Gavin

Watchers: Ryan's Dad, Aaron Bass, Becky and kids, and Sharpy's mates from the Ship.

In a change from the usual New Player Intro, I'd like to introduce a new feature I'm calling:
Losing Touch With Reality
This week staring the two Steves - the Oaks favourite double act.

Manager Milesy's match-day programme address

It's great to see a full house once again at the John Smiths Arena, the home of five times Christmas Pub Brawl Champions The Oaks Athletic. Your unwavering support is truly humbling given our awful performance last week, when you witnessed us throw away a one goal league, to lose 2-1 to our arch rivals - the Elephants in Pink Fluffy Tutus KFC. It's not easy being a manager, especially when a week of preparation is thrown out of the window, as you walk into the dressing room minutes before the game only to find that your in-form flame haired midfield play maker has been called up to win his first cap for Wales. Still the boys rallied well to take the lead, but when we were pegged back and 2-1 down I knew I had to make an attacking change. However, when I turned to the bench Paddy (you know, the one from Gypsy Weddings) and Harold Bishop were nowhere to be seen - apparently they'd run off to the chippy - unbelievable! Gollum had also vanished (he was last seen rubbing the tiny strands of hair that had appeared on his head whilst hissing "my precious") and I was almost desperate enough to put Parker on, but luckily Steve "six pack" Browne stepped forward to argue his case to be thrown on. He said to me:

"Darling Steve; surely after whipping me into shape in that hotel room last week you must have wanted to give me the chance to prove myself. I know I've had four bottles of Stella (other brands of beers are also available), and that nothing good ever came out of Belgium (apart from Kim Clijsters and Jean-Claude Van Damme) but I feel in the best shape of my life thanks to you and want to repay you in the only way I know how..."

I couldn't really argue with that, and as I slapped him on the right butt-cheek as he strode purposefully onto the pitch through a blizzard of bubbles, it finally dawned on me: a whole pack of Baby Bells and 12 Dairylea triangles (other brands of processed cheese are also available) before going to bed was probably a bad idea.

I'd advise Brownie to stick to San Miguel as well...


No one is more meticulous in their pre-match preparation than Brownie

Back in the bleak reality that is the Daisyfield we had an actual (although probably less interesting) game of football to play. The Oaks started really well with lots of promising moves developing from Taps and Mikey playing the ball out to Al and Eye-Ball on the flanks, who were offering quite different options. Al was linking up well with Harry on the left, whilst Eye-Ball was looking to exploit the space left by the Tilbury left full-back, who was playing more like a centre-back.

Although Eye-Ball made some good progress to the bye-line, the final ball was somewhat lacking, and it was Al who was involved in most of the best goal scoring chances that we created. On one occasion he attempted to curl the ball across the keeper, but couldn't direct his shot on target, but then he created an even better chance to put the Oaks ahead. Al made good progress into the box, drew the defender, and unselfishly laid the ball off to Nick, who found himself in acres of space on the edge of the six yard box. With the goal at his mercy, Nick was inflicted with a severe case of the Yips, and shot high and wide of the target.

Despite the disappointment at not taking the lead (with no-one feeling worse than Nick himself) we had no reason to panic, as Deano, Rob, Whiley, Luke and Ty were having no problem dealing with the long ball tactics of our opponents. Ty did have to rush out of his goal to beat the Tilbury striker to the ball (and receive a kick to the bargain), and scramble to gather the ball as it ran lose in the area, but that was it.

However, the Oaks have gone behind against the run of play more than once already this season, and looked to have done so again as Rob could only get enough on a long free kick into the box to increase the pace with which the ball flew into the back of the net.

We all know that Sharpy lives, breathes and sleeps (although I don't know about his dreams) the Oaks, but we also know he is far too honest for his own good. Therefore as we walked back to the half way line to prepare to get back into the game, we were all surprised to turn round to see Sharpy with his flag raised and talking to the ref. It transpired that at least two of the Tilbury players had been offside when the ball was played in, and Sharpy had correctly raised his flag to indicate this. Now it is the referee's job to decide whether or not they were interfering with play, and the general consensus was that, as Rob had won the header without being under any particular pressure then the goal should stand. However, the ref chose to go with the flag, and awarded a free kick to the Oaks.

I probably don't need to explain that Tilbury United were less than pleased with this outcome, although Sharpy received relatively few words from the players. His main cause for concern was the irate supporter who had decided Sharpy needed to be taught a lesson for being a man of such loose morals (obviously I've translated the actual words used). And while he was at it, he was also going to invite Rob, Mikey and Deano to join the class. As it was, we were proud to see a calmer, more reserved version of Sharpy than we have previously witnessed in these situations, and nothing more transpired (off the pitch at least).

For the rest of us, our punishment for somehow denying Tilbury the lead was to be kicked, pushed and generally maimed at any opportunity. Eye-Ball was the first to discover this as he was the unlucky recipient of the attention of three of the Tilbury players as he received the ball from the offside free-kick. Fortunately he avoided becoming the meat in a very angry sandwich and we all survived to half time.

Milesy made just the one change at half time with Ryan coming on as a direct replacement for Al. The Tilbury full back must have wondered what he had done to deserve such torture, and as Al finished tormenting him Ryan straight away showed his intention to run him ragged and turn him inside out for the forthcoming 45 minutes.

As it happened, apart from a few clear chances it was the defences who dominated, with the two centre back captains leading by example. Deano had by far his best game of the season, and was an absolute colossus - winning the ball in the air, reading the game to intercept through balls and beat the forward to the ball when it was played up from midfield, reacting first to head the ball away as it bounced back off the cross bar, and even going on his own jinxing run before releasing the ball to Ryan to carry on his good work. The icing on the cake came when Ty could only get enough on an attempted chip to parry the ball up into the air. We all watched on (yes, we know Ty) as the ball bounced agonisingly towards our virgin goal, but were able to breathe a huge sigh of relief as Deano was on hand to keep her pure and kick the ball off the line to safety.


Deano gets so feed up of waiting for the Oaks end of season awards night that he buys his own trophy (also the first sighting of the new purple kit)

Ty's good form continued as he made the initial save when the ball bounced up onto the bar, and was called upon to make another good low save when the Tilbury player shot from a tight angle. Whiley must also get special praise for an outstanding block on the edge of the six yard box that prevented a certain goal and sent the ball spinning over the bar for a corner.

I briefly mentioned the Tilbury skipper who, along with his band of merry (I'm not saying anything about what they might have been smoking) defensive men, did a pretty good job of shackling Harry and preventing Nick from having enough time on the ball to link up with the midfield.

Our best chance of the half was started and finished by Ryan, who drew a round of applause from the gathering crowd as he skipped passed his man, keeping on his feet in the box, despite the obvious contact, to beat a second man and shoot firmly at goal. Unfortunately the keeper was equal to the effort on this occasion and the deadlock still could not be broken.

I haven't said much about the midfield up to this point, but for humanitarian reasons I should just say that it was a mine-field. The tackles were flying in, and although Taps and Mikey had to assume a more industrious role on this occasion they were more than a match for their opponents, who disappeared for the last fifteen minute to allow our centre pairing to dominate and dictate proceedings to the final whistle.

Those watching the game have said that, despite there being no goals (sort of), it was an enthralling contest. It was so tight in fact, that Milesy really didn't feel he could make any more changes, as even a momentary unbalancing of the team could have made all the difference to the outcome. He was forced to make one change however, as Eye-Ball pulled up lame with cramp in the last ten having never recovered from the lung bursting 30 yard run from inside his own half to make a crunching block tackle on his helpless victim (you can open your eyes now Niki). Jordan replaced Eye-Ball on the right and showed what we had been missing with some good deliveries that caused the Tilbury defence some head-aches.

The game finished 0-0, and although we left the field frustrated at a referee who had given countless incorrect decisions, and taken no action to discourage Tilbury's sustained revenge attack, we also felt that, if it meant we could walk away from the Daisyfields alive, perhaps nil-nil was a fair result.

Eye-Ball


Proof that the continental influence has even spread to the grass roots of the English game

Next game: Sunday 13th November Away @ The Gateway Academy v Jurgens

TRAINING: Steve gave a good talk in the dressing room before the game to make it clear that, despite the obvious difficulty he is having in getting everyone a game, he sees this as being the one of the best squads he has had in his 15 years at the club, and wants everyone to stick around to find out what being an Oaks player is all about. To this end it is vital that everyone has the opportunity to gel, and we must thank Sharpy for organising a weekly training session to help with this. We know that not everyone will be able to attend regularly (myself included), and those who can't attend won't be penalised come Sunday. However, please do try and get along if you can, as this is not something we have done as a squad for a very long time.

Training will be at St Cleres School, Stanford-le-Hope, on a Friday night from 7-8. Starting on Friday 18th November (so don't turn up this week)! Make sure you have some money with you to contribute to the cost of the pitch.

Goals/Assist Chart

Pegasus Coryton 1 - 5 Oaks Athletic

I've been reading the match reports for our past encounters with Pegasus (see April 2010, May 2010 and January 2011), and I was quite surprised to see that our record against this side is quite good: in four games over the last two seasons we have picked up 7 points with two wins, one draw and only the one (ridiculous) defeat. I say I was surprised by this, as reading the match reports would suggest Pegasus have always been a superior footballing side to the Oaks; a team who pass and move well and have the ability to keep possession for large periods. In contrast the Oaks name was synonymous with dogged and organised defending, being dangerous from set pieces and kicking the man if the ball couldn't be reached. The fact that we picked up so many points in this fixture has been due to Pegasus's lack of pace both down the flanks and through the middle which has meant they have always struggled to unsettle the Oaks defence with the final ball despite all their possession in midfield. In the past however, we have lacked our own cutting edge to make more of the small amount of possession we had and as a result have never scored more than 2 goals.

What a difference a season makes.

There is a directness about the way the Oaks are playing these days, and with the vision and creativity we now possess chances are being created for fun. And we are starting to turn these chances into league goals: 2 goals in the first game, 3 in the second, 4 in the third and 5 this week. At this rate I'm going to have to carry a note pad and pen come the end of the season! This was a quite superb performance from everyone in the team, and if it hadn't been for the fact that we played most of the second half with ten men, who knows what the score might have been.

Given the enormous scale of the Pegasus pitch Milesy has, in the past, opted to pack the midfield to try and disrupt Pegasus's passing game. However, on this occasion he chose to stay with the 4-4-2 formation that has worked so well in recent weeks. A mention for Luke, whose performance as a sub at right back a couple of weeks ago earned him his first league start.

ppppppppppppppppTy

LukeppppppRobppppDeano (c)ppppEye-Ball

BunnyppppppMikey BpppppTapsellppppppAl

ppppppppppNickppppHarry

subs: Parker, Steve, Whiley, Gollum, Nathan, Sharpy, Niki, Jordan, Joe

Watchers: Ryan, Gavin

New player introduction: Luke

Known as:Luke (anything else?)

Best attributes: A booming right boot that can be used to clear the ball way up the pitch or play an inch perfect cross field ball. Quick feet for a tall man that help him glide past the opposition. Not bad with a pair of gloves either.

Most common sound when near him: That of a pin dropping. Luke is a quiet bloke which leaves me short of embarrassing or humorous comments. All in good time...

The game couldn't have started better for the Oaks and within the first 5 minutes we were in front. Luke took a free kick from inside the Oaks half, floating a perfect ball over the Pegasus back four who had obviously not realised the danger Harry's pace would pose them. Their high line allowed him to run in behind and show great composure to lift the ball over the stranded keeper and into the net for his 4th of the season: 0-1.

Whilst it's obviously great to see the Oaks scoring lots of goals, it doesn't make my job any easier and I must admit I'm starting to struggle to remember the order of events. Therefore apologies for any inaccuracies in the chronological order of the following account (and again if there is anything I forget that is worthy of a mention let me know).

The Oaks were now looking settled, composed and organised. With Al and Bunny working tirelessly down the flanks, Mikey and Tapsell patiently waiting for the opportunity to rob Pegasus of the ball and then showing the vision to play Al, Bunny and Harry in behind the Pegasus defence, and Nick working hard to make himself available whilst holding the ball up to bring others into the game, at times the defensive quintet just had to stand back and admire their team mates as they kept the opposition on the back foot for much of the half.

The defence played their part when required of course, and with arguably the best and most uncompromising ball winner in the Sunday league on our side, playing alongside our best all round and most versatile defender, and flanked by two full backs who between them offer a mixture of pace, defensive instinct, level headedness and composure on the ball, it's no surprise that our experienced and dependable keeper had relatively little to do in the first half.

It wasn't long before the Oaks extended their lead when the Pegasus fullback put the ball behind for a corner whilst under pressure from Harry following a long clearance from Ty. The ball into the box eventually fell to Al after efforts from Rob and Nick had been blocked, and he struck the ball firmly through the crowd of players and into the net for his first goal for the Oaks: 0-2 (note that I have not awarded an assist for this goal).

We were looking so comfortable up to this point that it was somewhat disappointing to let Pegasus back into the game when a good through ball caught the Oaks back four square playing a higher line than was necessary.

Ty has informed us that his little black book doesn't contain the usual list of conquests, but rather records every game of football he has played. This explanation becomes a lot more conceivable than the first when you consider that this game was the 800th entry. I doubt whether he has every played better than on this landmark occasion, with his performance being worthy of a clean sheet. Especially as he saved the initial effort from the Pegasus striker well with his foot, only for the ball to fall perfectly at the feet on another of the opposition to slot home into the empty net: 1-2.

This goal threatened to change the balance of the game, but thankfully the Oaks in-form player was on hand to dash Pegasus's hopes of a come back whilst rocketing himself up the coveted goal/assists chart.

Tapsell's first goal of the game came when Nick fought hard to win a long throw in from Luke, and claimed the last touch as the ball sat up nicely for Tapsell to strike the ball towards goal. A deflection caused the ball to spin clear of the keeper into the bottom left hand corner of the goal: 1-3.

Tapsell doubled his tally for the game, and the season before half time with the goal of the game. Although Tapsell supplied the final touch, this goal was all about Harry who twisted the opposition defenders in knots in the corner before winning a corner. Despite feeling aggrieved at not being awarded a free-kick he needn't have worried, as his inch perfect in swinging corner was attacked at the back post by Tapsell who arrived unmarked at pace to power the ball into the net: 1-4.

We could have had more goals in the first half had it not been for the Pegasus linesman flagging Harry offside on a number of occasions. Many of these decisions could politely be described as "tight", and led to much frustration from Harry, Nick and others who questioned the honesty of the man with the flag. On one stand out occasion Luke jinxed his way across the midfield (leading Sharpy to compare him to Oaks legend Geoff, who was famous for such tricky and once scored a hat-trick from full back) before playing a delightful ball over the top with the outside of his right boot. Unsurprisingly Harry was flagged for offside, and that was that.

The first half couldn't have gone much better, and although Steve was full of praise for our performance, his instruction was for us to concentrate on defending as a team and not letting Pegasus back into the game.

Tapsell and Harry obviously had other ideas, and yet again combined early in the second half with a diagonal ball by Tapsell eluding defender and goalkeeper, and leaving Harry to slot home for his second of the game: 1-5.

I must admit that at this point I made the mistake of wondering when the last time was that the Oaks had looked in such control of a game, only for Bunny to even the contest when he was sent off for reacting to an elbow and kick from his opposite number. Justice was definitely not done as the petulant Pegasus player was allowed to stay one the pitch, and we would have to play the last 35 minutes with 10 men.

It was inevitable that we would have to soak up the pressure now, and soak it up we did. The fact we managed to keep a second half clean sheet was due in no small part to some fine saves from Ty, including getting down well to save a near post effort, a fine tip over the bar from a free-kick (he wasn't going to leave this one), and a good readjustment to cling onto an effort that he nearly dived over (and led to some harsh "beached whale" comparisons). We also had our share of luck as Pegasus hit the bar and the post twice.

Our efforts were also once again helped by the strength of the Oaks subs bench, and as is often the case when a player is sent off, it is one of the attackers who is unlucky to be sacrificed. On this occasion Nick was the unfortunate one to take one for the team, as he was replaced by Nathan who had his fan club with him for this game (including little Megan and even smaller pink poodle). Spurred on by this support Nathan created two great chances to open his account for the season. The first came when he powered past the Pegasus defence into the box only for his shot to strike the keeper. He then showed good determination to close down the ball in the box, but could only deflect the ball over the bar.

Niki "Lawsie" Law also came on for Eye-Ball to make his first appearance for the Oaks, and his first game of football for 14 months following a period of travelling. Niki obviously gets his footballing ability from his father's side (he's related to Ty and Jordan on his mum's side) and showed no signs of rust as his obvious class shone through to help the Oaks regain control of the game.

The final substitution saw Sharpy replace the impressive Al, and make his first appearance of the season following a long suspension. Although the 20 minutes was tough for him (even though he spent 10 of them tying his shoelaces) he looked like he enjoyed himself and may have even got on the score sheet if he had actually been on the back post when he instructed Harry to put the ball there.

The mood after the game was understandably buoyant, and I'm sure others will be watching our results with interest. The pressure is now on for us to continue to perform, and if we can eradicate the inconsistency that has been an issue for Oaks sides of the past there is no reason why we can't maintain our record as the only unbeaten side in the league for some time to come.

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 6th November Away @ Daisyfields v Tilbury United: 1030 KO

Oaks Athletic 4 - 2 Thameside

The oaks twice came from behind to eventually win at a canter, in a game that they were by far and away the better team and, had it not been for a couple of wind induced errors (although I'm not directly referring to Parker's pre-match issues, inhaling whatever it was emanating from his person can't do a man any good) and a hatful of missed chances, we could have made the Manchester Derby look like a close game.

With another great turnout Milesy had plenty of options again, and with Harry available was able to revert back to his preferred 4-4-2 without having to play anyone out of position:

ppppppppppppppppTy

Deano (c)ppppppRobppppMillyppppEye-Ball

BunnyppppMikey BpppppTapsellppppppJoe

ppppppppppNickppppHarry

subs: Parker, Steve, Whiley, Luke, Al, Gollum, Nathan

Watchers: Sharpy, Ryan

New player introduction: Steve Browne

Known as:Brownie

Best attributes: A marauding full-back whose low centre of gravity, combined with a good turn of pace, make him ideal for exploiting the space that inevitably appears between full backs and wingers in Sunday League football.

When not playing football you'll find him: enjoying a glass/bottle/beaker (or whatever else he can lay his hands on) of beer and perfecting his slip-stich technique (he does knit a lovely hat).

Before we get into the details of the game, it is worth giving a brief weather report. It was a clear, mild day, but most importantly there was a strong breeze blowing from one end of the pitch towards the flats at the other end. This was to give the team playing into the wind an immediate advantage, as clearances from one end would fly all the way into the last third whereas from the other end the defending side would struggle to get the ball past the half way line.

In the first half the Oaks were kicking into the wind, but seemed to be coping OK with the conditions to start with. The first chance of the game even fell to one of our players, and when Rob placed his shot into the bottom corner Tyrone did well to get down and tip the ball around the post (no typos there honestly).

Title for most relieved man on the pitch goes to: Mr Robin Lawrence

It was from corners that Thameside looked most dangerous, as with the help of the wind they were able to swing the ball right into the heart of the six yard box. The Oaks didn't help themselves by giving away far to many avoidable corners, mainly through miskicks and indecision for which the wind can only be partly to blame for. As it happened we defended these corners well (with a bit of luck as well as Thameside hit the post on at least one occasion), and should take some credit for not conceding via this avenue.

It was totally against the run of play that the Oaks went behind when Bunny committed a foul just inside the opposition half (let's call it 50 yards from goal for arguments sake). Bunny's tackle hadn't made him any friends from the opposition side, but all was soon forgiven as their skipper over hit a long ball into the box that sailed over Ty's head and into the roof of the net. Deceived by the flight of the ball (which initially seemed to be sailing well over), Ty didn't even move and it took a while for us all to realise that the ball had indeed gone in and we were 1-0 down.

In the past heads might have dropped at this point, but we knew that we had the beating of Thameside and were playing some really nice football. One particular move that stood out was a passing exchange that saw Mikey play the ball on to Nick, who immediately layed it off to Mikey who had continued his run towards the area. Mikey then passed it to Tapsell who spread the play to Joe on the left. It was unfortunate that this move came to nothing as we could have been looking at an early contender for goal of the season (an award that doesn't even exist by the way).

It wasn't long before our class finally shone through as Tapsell once again linked up with Harry to create a fine opening that was finished in style. On this occasion Tapsell actually used the head wind to his advantage as a firmly struck through ball (is it triangle in Fifa Harry?) held up perfectly for Harry to run in behind the defender, across and around the stranded keeper and to slot the ball expertly into the empty net: 1-1.

Title for most relieved man on the pitch now passes to: Mr Tyrone Owen

**INTERLUDE**

On the 16 August 1977 Elvis Presley was found dead on the toilet (conspiracy theorists still claim the fact Parker was seen leaving the bathroom shortly before Elvis entered can't be a coincidence). On 23 February 20 million viewers watched "Dirty" Den Watts get shot and fall into the canal (supposedly to his death). In 1991 Harold Bishop mysteriously disappears, with nothing but his glasses being found on the edge of a cliff. And on the 16 April 2011 Eye-Ball Paul wrote a touch obituary to the Oaks late inspirational captain Nathan Kerin.

http://oaksathletic.blogspot.com/2011/04/oaks-athletic-5-0-laird-athletic.html"

One thing all these men have in common is that they all have attempted to make a comeback in recent years (I believe you can see Elvis at the Indian Restaurant in Billericay in a few weeks time), but for three of the four these have proven to be relatively unsuccessful. After being given the all clear to return to playing football (although with the obvious warning to not over do it), Nathan returned to the Oaks fold this week, and on coming on for the injured Bunny (one of our new stars) he made an instant impact, and there is no doubt that his presence and determination galvanised the team.

**END OF INTERLUDE**

For Nathan to grab the headlines on his return, someone needed to give him, and the rest of the team, a reason to display their grit, determination and team spirit. Step forward Eye-Ball. The miskicks and slices that plagued the first half have already been mentioned, and Eye-Ball was by far and away the worst afflicted. The way he was playing in the first half he would have struggled to kick Sharpy if you'd tied him to a lamppost by his ear hair. Having already had Harry to thank for tackling back when possession had been given away perilously close to our own area, there was no-one to save him when a descending, spinning ball completely bamboozled him (think Mike Gatting and Shane Warne), leaving the Thameside winger to run clear through on goal and finish neatly over Ty's head to give Thameside another undeserved lead: 1-2.

Although I wanted the ground to swallow me up, the words of support and encouragement from around the team were much appreciated, and showed to me what a great bunch of lads we have assembled at the club. Now they just had to dig deep to get Eye-Ball out of jail and win the three points they deserved.

Although no goal came before half-time, the signs were good and there seemed to be plenty of confidence that, with the wind on our side in the second half the deficit could be overturned.

The chances were to come thick and fast in the second half, and there is no way I can remember all of them. If there is anything I miss that you would like mentioned (this week and every other week) just leave a comment and I'll add any additions/corrections. With Harry's pace upfront to exploit the wind, Nathan charging down the right hand side and Tapsell and Mikey now controlling the midfield the Thameside goal was now under siege. Add to this the added bonus of Nathan's trademark long throw (yes lads, get on the BACK post) - which must now only be used one most needed - it is amazing that the score was still 1-2 after 20 minutes of the second half.

Particularly good efforts that came to nothing included a rasping shot from Harry on the left hand side of the box, a towering header from Tapsell following a cross from Nathan that he couldn't quite direct on target, and a header from Mikey following a corner that hit the woodwork. There was even a moment of controversy as Robin's initial header from Nathan's throw was palmed up by the keeper only for the assistant referee's flag to be raised as Robin and Harry combined to put the ball in the net. Although Harry would have been offside from Robin's initial header (neither would have been offside from the throw-in) should the goal have stood if Robin got the final touch on the rebound? You could debate interference and "being active" until the cows come home, but at the end of the day we just had to go again.

We even had the odd scare, and both Eye-Ball and Ty went some way to making up for their early errors with interventions that kept the score at 2-1. Eye-Ball chased back to make a well timed sliding challenge in the area (although Deano rightly pointed out that it was his man who had been allowed to temporarily escape), and Ty closed the angle well to make a good save after the Thameside substitute had slipped in behind our back four.

By this point we were throwing absolutely everything at Thameside, and with Brownie now on and charging down the left wing (he'd originally been put on at left back but Milesy soon realised his switch was cranked to full attack mode, so pushed Eye-Ball back to full back) and Mikey and Tapsell getting further forward surely our luck had to turn sooner or later.

Nathan has always been a big fan of the goal scoring chart, and now that assists are also being recorded he would have been very happy to make his first notch. His through ball was initially meant for Deano (who had selflessly offered his cherished captain's armband to Nathan earlier in the half), but was latch on to by Tapsell who charged into the area and sent a screaming volley past the keeper and into the roof of the net: 2-2.

New holder of the most relieved man on the pitch award: Mr Eye-Ball

Thameside were now playing like they had already lost, and despite their best efforts to hold up proceeding with an array of confusing substitutions and re-organisations that at one point saw them with only ten players on the pitch for a good five minutes, there was still plenty of time to grab a winner. In fact we went one better and got another two inside the last 15 minutes.

The Oaks were now committing more and more players forward, and when Nathan broke down the right to the bye-line he had plenty of men to pick out in the middle. He opted for the biggest one, and Nick gratefully accepted the inch perfect low cross that left him with the simplest of tap-ins and earn him his third goal of the season: 3-2.

The scoring/assist chart only made its first appearance last week, and it has definitely made a big impression on Tapsell who seemed desperate to add to the one goal and 3 assists that he already had to his name. I won't ask if he collects notches, but he soon got another one as reward for the frequent lung bursting runs he was making into the box in the last 10 minutes. On this occasion it was another assit for Nathan who's long throw once again struck, with Tapsell beating the keeper to head home from 6 yards: 4-2.

I'm not sure any of us wanted this game to end, but all good things must. We're going to come up against tougher opposition but hopefully we can continue to play with the same determination and team spirit regardless of the opposition and the state of the game.

Interestingly our opponents next week - Pegasus - had lost 3 out of 3 before this week, when they beat the only other unbeaten side other than the oaks (Beauchamps - 4 wins out of 4 before this week) by two goals to one. This just shows what an open league we are in, and why we should be pushing ourselves to be up near the top of the table come the end of the season.

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 30th October: Away @ Pegasus Club v Pegasus Coryton: 9:45 meet.

P.S. Don't forget that the clocks go BACK saturday night.

Goals an assists:

Lakeside Trojans 2 - 0 Oaks Athletic (Ted Fairchild Cup)

Another week, another cup game, and another early exit for the Oaks. You never know what you are going to be up against when you play a team from the bottom division of the Thurrock Sunday League. With so many new and reformed teams popping up each year, the weakest teams often get forced up a league leaving some very good teams behind. The Lakeside franchise is already threatening to topple the Ockendon Motorspares empire that has dominated the Thurrock Sunday League for years, with the two existing teams making steady progress towards the premier division. They have now added a team of young upstarts, who have made a flying start in the 4th division and showed against the Oaks that they could compete well above their current level. However, although the better team on the day won, the Oaks still walked away disappointed in a performance that lacked composure and discipline, and was well below what we know we are capable of.

Milesy returned this week (complete with pink shirt and sun-tan), and although the tequila and sombreros were sadly missing, he did bring our shiny new purple kit (complete with matching socks) as chosen democratically at the end of last season. Although this wasn't a great start for the new kit, it still signals the start of a new era for the Oaks as Milesy looks to gel the significant contingent of new players with the old. For this game, with a severe lack of recognised strikers, Milesy chose to experiment with five in the middle, leaving Nick on his own up top:

ppppppppppppppppTy

RobppppppDeano (c)ppppMillyppppEye-Ball

ppppppppppppppGollum
MikeyppppBunnypppppTapsellppppppAl

ppppppppppppppNick

Subs/Watchers: Parker, Luke, Whiley, Gavin, Scott, Steve, Joe, Nathan, Chris, Jordan, Ryan

I haven't had any complaints about the new player intros so will continue this week with Bunny:

Ash

AKA:
Bunny

Most likely reason for nickname:
His surname is Bun

Least likely reason for surname:
Three years spent satisfying Hugh Hefner's labedo in the Playboy Mansion

Best attributes:
Strong in the tackle and in the air, and a great first touch that gives a stronger case for the above nickname suggestion.

Lakeside dominated the early exchanges, and showed themselves to be a confident and energetic young side. Virtually the first move of the game saw them work the ball to their main front man, who found some space on the edge of the area and shot wide of the right hand upright.

It wasn't long before Ty was called into action as he had to atone for his own error as a miscued kick from a back pass presented the ball to a Lakeside player in space. Ty recovered well to close the angle and block the shot with his legs.

Lakeside's constant harassment evidently unsettled the Oaks who failed to make use of the possession they had, and were guilty of giving away far too many soft free kicks when there was still plenty of cover to deal with any dangerous situations that may arise.

Twice in the first half the Oaks were punished for this indiscipline and the two goal difference that was to remain until the end of the game was soon established. Teams are often accused of lacking width, but I don't think this comment is meant to apply to a defensive wall. However, when a free kick was conceded 10 yards outside the area, and hit low around the right side of the wall and out of Ty's reach, it was clear that our one could have done with a bit more girth: 1-0.

One nil became two nil when, with our penalty area packed with red and black shirts (remembering we now play in purple) following another free kick, Ty attempted to play a 1-2 to with the opposition player who didn't oblige and deflected the ball into the net. While there was some debate over the legality of the method used to get the ball into the net (some sort of combination of hand and right testicle being one possibility), Ty sets himself high standards (his dazzling new green kit being a prime example) and I'm sure he would have been disappointed to have not held the initial shot, especially as he had commanded his six yard box from numerous dangerous inswinging corners up to this point: 2-0.

Still, with over sixty minutes left to play we had plenty of time to get back into this game and could have been level at the break if we had got a better rub of the green with two excellently manufactured chances.

Tapsell and Bunny play a lot of football together (they joined the Oaks from the same side and play five-a-side together each week), and showed an almost telepathic understanding when they linked up to create a chance that almost saw Bunny score his second for the season with a goal that would have been a contender for goal of the season. As the ball came towards Tapsell in the air, he heard the call from his mate and nodded the ball on in Bunny's direction. With his back to goal, Bunny let the ball bounce across him, swivelled and hit it first time towards the right hand side of the goal from 25 yards before anyone else reacted. We all watched on as the ball bounced, hit the post and bounced away out of the reach of Mikey, who was the only one who realised a re-bound might be on.

The second best chance of the half also fell to Bunny, as he rose like a ...(sorry, that's too obvious even for me) on the edge of the six yard box to meet Mikey's excellent cross from the right, but could not direct his header under the cross bar.

We also showed we could be dangerous from free kicks as Al "I can't take free-kicks" Blake floated an excellent ball to the back post which almost lead to a goal.

The half time team talk from Milesy was mainly positive: he could see that we could create chances against this side, and despite the goals, Ty's save and one defensive lapse when their striker broke through and shot over, we had defended well. Milesy did decided that Nick needed some support up top, and whilst to some of us the obvious choice would have been to simply move former prolific striker Gollum further up the field, he instead chose to give Scott (who we were all pleased to see return from injury) a run out whilst reverting to a 4-4-2 formation.

Although the infuriating sound of the referee's whistle continued to interrupt play during the second half, we soaked up the continuing Lakeside pressure and Ty had a much quieter second half.

With Scott now on we could look to make better use of our aerial threat from crosses and corners, as he showed that the lay-off through injury hadn't affected his ability to swing in tempting corners into the danger zone. Two stand out chances from these whipped in deliveries fell to Bunny and Rob. The former making a well timed run to the near post to head narrowly wide. Rob came even closer when his nod down at the back post unfortunately hit the Lakeside keeper, who didn't know very much about the save.

The keeper has to take more credit for the save he made from Tapsell, who made a superb run into the box and struck the ball with venom using the outside of his right boot, only to see his effort tipped over by a diving yellow blur.

If any of these chances had gone in, it would have been interesting to see how the young pretenders would have handled the pressure of protecting a one goal lead, and despite the fact that we failed to disturb the net there were a number of positives to take from the second half performance. The stand-out one for me being the cameo performance by Luke at right-back; for a man who has been patiently waiting to get his chance wearing a goalie's jersey he show himself to be a composed and tidy defender, and with a booming right boot that can be used to clear the lines or set up an attacking move Milesy has yet another option (or is that head-ache) to consider. Milesy should also get credit for managing to re-organsie the side during the second half to get all three permitted subs onto the field. With not many like-for-like changes possible he first brought on Gavin for Al, who was replaced by Scott on the left with Gav join Nick upfront. Then for Luke to get his chance at right back Mikey left the field and Rob moved to the right wing.

So although the result wasn't what we would have liked, I think we all (including Milesy) can learn a lot from this game as we look to compete in what looks to be the most evenly matched division in the league.

I should add that the main thing I learned is that it's advisable not to spend too long on the ground injured, as the next time Parker waddles on to provide unrequested treatment he may have something worse than orange squash in his bottle.

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 23rd October @ Home v Thameside - Meet between 0915 and 0930 (as we have to put the nets up).

Goals and assists chart: