Oaks Athletic 9 - 1 Kaktus

It’s probably easiest if I start by addressing Kaktus’ contribution to this match. Firstly they were gifted an undeserved lead as the Oaks kicked off, and whilst keeping possession the ball found itself at the feet of our ever reliable goalkeeper Ty. Possibly Kaktus’ first touch of the game then followed as Ty’s attempted clearance rebounded off the striker’s backside and rolled into the bottom corner: 0-1.

The opposition’s only other highlights were a first half shot that hit the post, and a second half effort which brought a good reaction stop from Ty. For the rest of the match they were mere spectators as the Oaks ran riot to record their first win of the season in emphatic style.

The man with the hardest job was manager Milesy, who had to choose a starting eleven from eighteen available players. The team he went with included two players, Nick and Mikey, who were making their league debuts for the Oaks with both having already impressed in pre-season and last week’s narrow Essex cup defeat.

ppppppppppppppTyrone (GK)

ppDeano (RB) Milly (CB) Rob (CB) Eye-Ball (LB)


pKeri (RM) (c) Gollum (CM) Mikey (CM) Jordan (LM)

pppppppppppNick (CF) Sharpy (CF)

Subs: Jimmy, Alex, Parker, Aaron, Scott, Ashley, Aaron (2)

It would have been easy for heads to go down given we had gone behind so early, but last week’s strong performance against supposedly superior opposition had convinced most in the Oaks ranks that we have the squad to perform well in the league this year. As a result the Oaks were soon back into their stride and Kaktus were totally dominated all over the pitch. The familiar looking Oaks back four were playing well as a unit and mostly successfully playing the offside trap to nullify Kaktus’ hopeful ‘ball over the top’ strategy. The midfield – orchestrated by new man Mikey B – competed for every ball, and found space for each other to keep possession for long periods. Then upfront Sharpy, who is keen to regain his title as Oaks top scorer, was already showing a good understanding with big man Nick, with ‘big’ being an understatement! This pair are going to be a formidable partnership, and I’m just glad I’m not defending against them! Having said that, those who remember how Eye-Ball was born will remind me that being on the same side as Sharpy doesn’t mean you’re safe!

It wasn’t long until the Oaks were back on level terms when Mikey B showed good determination and skill to turn his man on the by-line and put in a low cross which was slid home by a combination of Sharpy and the defender. The dubious goals committee credited Sharpy with the goal, and I don’t think anyone would argue: 1-1.

The Oaks were now well into their stride, and took the lead when Eye-Ball slid in to win the ball on the half way line, with the ball finding its way to Sharpy. He then put Nick clear with a perfectly weighted through ball, and the big man showed he has good feet and a steady head as he rounded the keeper with ease to slot home for his first goal in Oaks colours: 2-1.

Not to be out done, the other league debutant was soon to cap a superb performance with the Oaks’ third goal. We’ve been trying to get Mikey to join the Oaks for a couple of seasons, and he is already showing that our persistence was well worth it. Mikey’s hunger for the ball and composure and strength whilst on it meant that he was at the heart of everything good that the Oaks did. Whether it was giving the defence an out ball to get play moving up the pitch, or linking up with the front men and wingers to set up goal scoring opportunities, you just couldn’t keep him out of the game. On this occasion he decided to go for goal himself, but whilst most thought Mikey’s sweetly struck - though not overly powerful - left footed shot from the edge of the area would be easily dealt with by the Kaktus keeper, the keeper was equally confident that the ball was going wide. The reality was that he actually politely let the ball pass him and into the corner of the net: 3-1.

They say that behind every great man there is a great woman. This may be true in the ideal world, but in reality great women are hard to come by. However, Gollum definitely does his bit for the Oaks, and his willingness to sit in front of the back four and anchor the midfield or drop into the defence gives others the licence to get into the box, and when the ball was only partially cleared following another Oaks attack red shirts were queueing up to score. As it happened, on this occasion the ball fell at Nick’s feet and he finished with aplomb from 8 yards: 4-1.

Such was the Oaks dominance that the half time team talk mostly turned into the meeting of the dubious goal committee, but Milesy did find the opportunity to remind us that complacency could be costly, and the last thing we wanted to do was give Kaktus any hope of a comeback. Just one change was made with Scott replacing Nick, which meant Jordan moving into the middle and Mikey moving into a familiar role upfront with Sharpy. It’s unfortunate that a recurring back problem prevented Scott from pursuing the career in the Army that he had worked so hard for, but their loss is definitely our gain and it was great to have him back following a short lay-off with a broken foot.

The introduction of Scott meant we now had natural width on both sides of the park, and when combined with the constant threat posed by skipper Keri on the right, the Kaktus full backs were having a torrid time. It was therefore no surprise that, when a partially cleared cross saw the ball bouncing at the edge of the area,the ball was subsequently flying into the top corner courtesy of the outside of the right boot of the newly named Rafael van der Weed: 5-1.

It’s worth drawing to your attention that the Oaks had now scored five goals without a corner or long throw in sight. Well, that was never going to last and we were soon treated to the familiar sight of Sharpy and Rob both attacking the ball from Keri’s corner, but thankfully they combined to steer the ball home, with Rob being credited with the final touch: 6-1

Not to be kept out of the action, Ty set up the Oaks 7th and Sharpy’s second, when his long clearance caught the Kaktus defence unawares, and Mikey left the ball for Sharpy to calmly lob over the keeper: 7-1.

Sharpy then secured his (slightly dubious) hat-trick, when the Kaktus keeper made a mess of another cross and Sharpy was on hand to force the ball over the line: 8-1.

There was still time for Deano (complete with suspected broken jaw) to open his tally for the season as he burst into the box, where he was fed by Keri and finished superbly with a side footed shot across the keeper. His obvious joy at scoring may have resulted in shooting jaw pains, but I suspect it was worth it: 9-1.

I shouldn’t finish without mentioning Ashley and Aaron(2) - who also made their debuts in the second half replacing Mikey and Sharpy. We also musn’t forget Parker, Aaron, Jimmy and Alex who didn’t get on this week. These lads are Oaks through and through and know that their loyalty doesn’t go unnoticed.

While I don’t want to spoil the celebrations of what was a superb performance, it is worth mentioning that Kaktus effectively finished 2nd bottom of the 3rd division last season with one win and a goal difference of minus 50. Promotion to league 2b seems unfair on them, and I do wish them all the best for the coming season. We’re going to come up against much tougher opposition – starting next week with George and Dragon – but that said, if we can consistently play with the same conviction and desire we showed in this match, we will be a match for anyone.

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 9th October 1030 KO @ Blackshots (home) v George and Dragon