S.S.C. Orsett 5 - 4 Clements Athletic

With both sides struggling to put out a team, this was never going to be a classic encounter.  Clements narrowly missed out on any points, but on the plus side H scored a fine hat-trick which more than doubled his tally for the season, and old boys Sharpy and Gollum returned to provide their welcome support.

Subs: Sharpy, Foggy

Orsett made a stronger start, and it took a fine save from Conor to deny their burly striker who struck a fierce volley through a crowded box.  Unfortunately this saved was at a cost, as it led to Conor adding to the list of Clements wrist injuries (anyone got any good ideas for wrist strengthening exercises.....).

There was nothing anyone in purple could do about the goal that saw us go behind as Orsett's main threat broke down the right with Niki for company.  However, our captain's presence could not stop the Orsett player unleashing a venomous cross/shot that flew like a bullet into the far corner: 1-0.

With Gollum's cameo appearance ending with injury after 20 minutes, Sharpy had now entered the attack, and was first to a floated free-kick into the box from Chris.  Sharpy beat the keeper to the bouncing ball and headed the it into the path of H.  We all held our breath, as despite the goal being empty H has managed to miss from some far easier positions this season.  Thankfully this time he made not mistake and gratefully tapped the ball into the empty net: 1-1.

Sharpy was involved again in the second goal, which was made possible by a determined run from Dale down the left.  He sprinted to beat the defender to the loose ball on the half way line and then with H and Sharpy waiting in the box picked out Sharpy at the far post.  Sharpy's shot came back off the up-right, but fell nicely into H's path for him to double his tally for the season: 1-2.

Orsett found another route to goal before half-time, and on the balance of play parity at the break was probably a fair outcome.

With Conor unable to continue, a crippled Foggy bravely took the gloves and hobbled to the goal.  Clements nearly took the lead immediately in the second half when Sharpy pounced on a loose header from the defender, but could only lift his effort over the bar.

After this, Clements' main threat came from Dale down the left, who was running rings around Orsett's right back, but received no reward for his efforts.  All the prizes seemed to be going to Orsett as they added three goals, including two explosive finishes from their big number nine and an effort from a cross that dribbled in off the post as Eye-Ball challenged for the ball at the back post.

Clements did rally late in the game, with H completing his hat-trick with a fine chest and volley as the ball fell to him in a crowded area, and a late penalty miss from Sharpy (he scored on the rebound).  It wasn't quite enough, but with the season very nearly over and the league table being irrelevant, enjoying the football is more important than worrying about the results.

Eye-Ball

Kynoch Sports 4 - 3 Clements Athletic

This was a disappointing game for a number of reasons.  Firstly you always expect to win against a team who averaged 9.5 players throughout the match.  Secondly, we had more than enough chances to win the game but were wasteful in front of goal.  Furthermore, sloppy defending and poor tracking back (and some unfortunate deflections) led to us conceding four avoidable goals.  However, what hurt the most - not to mention being highly embarrassing - was the unacceptable finger pointing, moaning, arguing and infighting that frankly made us look a joke outfit.

Subs: Chris, Jake

We didn't lose this match because the defence failed to deal with Kynoch's pacey striker who was their one outlet, or because the strikers fluffed their lines with the goal at their mercy, or because the ball was lost in midfield or an attempted pass was over hit or misplaced.  We lost this game because we didn't give our cup and promotion winning opposition the respect they deserved, we didn't give 100%, it didn't seem like we wanted to win, and most importantly we were not a team.  Now I don't want to generalise any of these comments, as it is down to each man to say if he could have given more, or underestimated the opponents.  I've also got no problem with people not being bothered whether we win or lose, but that doesn't stop you doing all you can for your individual pride and the reputation of your team.

This is my eighth season with this club, and the side is totally unrecognisable to the one that - prior to the untouchable class of 2011/12 - just about scrapped by in division two and got knocked out in the first round of the Essex Cup every year.  In fact, with the absence of Nathan, Sharpy, Gollum and Parker that only leaves Rob and myself who can recall what it was liked when we pretty much spent 90 minutes defending for our lives, with our only hope of scoring being by getting Sharpy or Rob on the end of a corner or long throw from Nathan.  Despite being a very average side, I was always proud to play for the Oaks, and although other teams knew they would probably beat us, they definitely didn't like playing us as they knew they would have to work hard to win, and would probably be leaving with a few bruises and aches and pains.  We didn't turn up on a Sunday to win or boost our own egos; we turned up because we enjoyed going into battle with each other, respected each other and the reputation of the club, and looked forward to having something to laugh about in the pub afterwards.  It didn't matter how good a footballer you were if you could give your all (especially whilst nursing a hangover), you'd be accepted into the group.

Don't get me wrong, it has been great to have so many new faces at the club and to experience winning the league and cup will always be special.  However, in a lot of ways we were a better team (and had a lot more fun) when we were worse at football.  It takes a long time to develop the bonds and friendships that make this possible, so I accept that we still have a lot to learn as a relatively new group of players, but there is no reason why we can't become a good team.

I apologise for the historical comparison, but I don't want this club to end like it did for Richard III (and the Plantagenet line of kings) at the Battle of Bosworth.  Looking certain to win the battle, Richard was betrayed by a man who had chosen to stand back and watch the battle unfold before choosing his side.  Richard thought he would have this man's support but instead he decided he would be better off by siding with Richard's enemies.  Richard lost the battle, his life and his dynasty. We only got two games left this season, so will soon be thinking ahead to next year.  I suggest we all have a good think over the summer about whose side we want to be on.

Clements goals:

1.  Alan plays the ball down the line for Liam, who cuts back to H. H evades the defender before side footing the ball past the keeper.

2. Dale swings in a corner which is met by Chris with a firm header at the near post.

3. The ball comes out to Chris on the right following a corner.  He swings it back in and Tapsell finishes with a trademark header at the far post.

Tyrells Hall Pirates 6 - 3 Clements Athletic

Clements recovered some pride following a dismal first half performance that saw them 5-0 down at the break.  The fact that we put three past our opponents in the second half will hopefully give us some confidence that, if we turn up for 90 minutes rather than just 45, there is no reason why we can't pick up some points in the return fixture that will be coming over the next few weeks.

Subs: Harry

With Sharpy and Nathan (retired), Ryan (broken wrist) and Alan (unavailable) all missing Alec had suddenly gone from having almost two teams to choose from to wondering if we could scrape a team together.  The fact that Conor, Dale and Foggy were also carrying injuries and Bunny is still finding his way back after a long lay-off meant the omens were not good.  Still this is no excuse for rolling over against a team who may have appeared physically intimidating, but could have been easily unsettled if we had got stuck in and shown some balls and team spirit.  It was telling that from the numerous corners we defended I was conscious of the fact that our voices were drown out by the chorus of bird song on this warm Spring morning.  This is all I really want to say about the first half; the clocks going forward meant we lost an hour, and I would be happy if this 45 minutes of football was also lost from memory.

An emphasis on defence had done us no favours in the first half, so it made sense to change to a more attacking formation in the second half, with Bunny volunteering to make way for H, who partnered Liam up top.  Harry 'I always score on mother's day' Judge had been staking his claim for being involved from the moment he turned up. Although he didn't manage to maintain his record (but then there are other ways of scoring...) H's introduction definitely made an impact as it helped to exploit the cumbersome physiques of some of our opponents.

Having attacking players in more advanced positions led to our first goal.  Dale caught the left-back in possession before turning inside and placing the ball calming in the bottom corner with his left foot: 5-1.

Liam is giving Dale a run for his money in to goal scoring stakes this season, and kept a hold on his coat tails when he latched onto a good through ball from Foggy to beat the keeper and end a good passing move from Clements with the reward it deserved: 5-2.

The celebrations were still quite subdued, as I think the aim was more about restoring pride rather than thinking we could overhaul the deficit.  The fact that we then conceded a sixth was seen as irrelevant, and thankfully did not diffuse the positive way we were approaching the game in the second half.  We managed a third before the end when Liam played Dale in, who deflected the ball into the net on the second attempt: 6-3.

When we look back on this season, this game will not conjure up the fondest memories, but the nature of Sunday league football means that there are going to be weeks where injuries, player absence, too many beers the night before or just having a bad day can leave you wondering why you bothered dragging yourself out of bed.  Things never seem so bad when you are having a laugh about it in the pub afterwards, and there is always next week!

Eye-Ball

Goal scoring chart