Thameside 0 - 1 Oaks Athletic (Division 2 Cup)

I imagine Thameside will be glad to see the back of The Oaks this season, and to be honest we won't miss playing Thameside despite the fact that this was the third time we had beaten them in three encounters. There may well be more technically gifted teams in the league, but there surely isn't a harder working one than Thameside. For 90 minutes they press, and hurry their opponents into making mistakes. They give so much in every game that you can't help but feel that they deserve to get something from the match. Unfortunately for them, The Oaks are now a team who expect to win regardless of how hard the opposition try, and despite not being at their best on this occasion, still advanced to the next round of the league cup.

This was a day for a bit of nostalgia as we were reminded of certain elements of the Oaks of old. Firstly the sight of a small dog in matching team colours lead one of the assembled players to remark that we could put our loyal mascot, Jake in an Oaks purple shirt. Unfortunately Jake is no longer with us, but I'm sure he would have worn the Oaks shirt with pride.



An unshaven John Motson wishes someone had told him it was TV rather than Radio coverage.

Then there was the presence of an old Oaks servant and captain, who was there to watch his son play. It was really good to see Stu and hopefully he can make it along next week to join us for a beer.



Don't you hate it when you forget to take the coat hanger out of your shirt.

Finally, our preparation for this game was more like the Oaks of old: with a few minutes to go till kick-off we were still missing 2 of our starting eleven (including the goal keeper), and when they did turn up they added to the significant number of Oaks players who were still pissed from the night before. Still, we managed to start on time with eleven players and set about getting to the next round of a cup we should seriously be looking to win.

With Ty suffering from a dodgy hip, Luke was given the chance to impress in goal as much as he has at full-back. Surprisingly the Oaks were short of defensive cover on this occasion, and so Deano slotted into the hole left by Luke at right back whilst Nathan moved to centre-back. This then meant a start on the right for Jordan.

ppppppppppppppppLuke
Deano (c)ppppppRobppppNathanppppEye-Ball

JordanppppppMikey BpppppTapsellppppppRyan

ppppppppppNickppppHarry

subs: Joe, Sharpy, Gavin

The first half was somewhat of a blur for a large contingent of the Oaks players who had basically walked out from the changing rooms and straight onto the pitch to start the game. This was the case for no-one more so than Taps, whose over excuberence in the celebration of his birthday the night before had left him a shadow of his former self. The boisterous and bustling midfielder, who has driven us forward up to now, was was nowhere to be seen (unless you looked up to where Nick and Harry were stood) or heard for much of the first half. You wont be surprised to hear then that he created the best chance of the opening period, when the ball sat up for him on the edge of the area and he unleashed a stinging drive that was acrobatcially sent round the post by the Thameside keeper.

The Oaks continued to show what a good footballing side they have become as they looked to break down the stubborn Thameside defence, and when Jordan played the ball into the box from the right, it looked like Ryan's first touch off his chest may carry him and the ball past the back line and into a good scoring position. However, Ryan had underestimated the appetitie of the Thameside centre back pairing, who made him the meat in their sandwich and sent him crashing to the ground.

The lack of hesitation from the referee in awarding the penalty was only trumped by the speed with which the BFJ strode forward to pick up the ball and place it on the spot, whilst around him the debate continued about all should take the kick. No one would argue that your penalty taker needs to be confident that they are going to score, and nomination by committee isn't going to guarentee that. Nick left no one with any doubt that he was the right man for the job as he strode up to the ball and smashed it with venom into the corner of the net and out of the keepers reach: 0-1.

Thameside's never say die attitude shone through after this goal as they took control of the last quarter of the half. The Oaks in contrast were guilty of sitting off and letting Thameside pull the strings, and we were indepted to the second most enibriabted player on the pitch - Luke - for pulling off a superb double save to first dive right and stop and firmly hit shot from outside the area, and to then block the rebound shot with his knees. Luke wore the Oaks new green goalkeeper kit for the first time on this occasion, and whilst he looked as resplendant as Ty, his stature means that the Poddington Pea comparison really doesn't work. Fortunately Deano (the third most inhibriated player on the pitch) was able to manage a rare moment of clarity; and it was thus that the Runner Bean was born.

There was one additional scare when a mix up between Eye-Ball and Harry (the former leaving the ball for the latter, and the latter not wanting to get his new official Oaks Athletic purple boots dirty) presented the winger with a clear run on goal, but fortunately his shot was wide of the goal.



Sharpy regrets assuming his campaign for a gold kit would be successful

Deano then completed the domination of the drunks as he entered into a bizarre confrontation with Thameside's mouthy manager, who had taken exception to Harry swinging an arm in reacting to having his shirt held whilst trying to run onto a quick free-kick by Deano. The free-kick had been awarded following a late tackle on Deano to which Deano (who was wearing his angry green drunk hat), had reacted badly. He then mis-interpreted the Thameside manager's rant at him about Harry's swing as accusing him of throwing an elbow, which Deano was denying whilst explaining what would happen if he did want to elbow the player who had fouled him, which the Thameside manager took as vindication from the Oaks skipper for the use of the elbow. And so it went on to the half-time whistle.

The second half really had no significant moments of note, with both defences controlling the game. The Runner Bean made the six yard box his own, Nathan and Rob won every ball at the back, and Mikey continued to boss the midfield. Equally dogged work from the Thameside rear guard meant chances were at a premium, and the Oaks displayed the necessary grit to see out the rest of the game and progress to the next round of the cup.

The day got even better as we heard the news that we had even improved our strangle hold on the league thanks to a shock victory for Jacks Lads over Beauchamps.

This was our last game of the year, and was a fitting way to finish what has been a very succesful and memorable 2011 for the Oaks.

Eye-Ball

Goal Scoring Chart




Next game: Sunday 8th January @ home v Tilbury United.

Oaks Athletic 2 - 1 Jacks Lads

The Oaks won their sixth game of the season, and extended their unbeaten start to 9 games, which is the best run they have had for at least 10 years (and possibly ever). With other results going their way (both Beauchamps and Wilburn lost) they also extended their lead at the top of the league to 4 points.



Games involving the Oaks are becoming as predictable as a budget porn movie. We soften up the opposition and take the lead, but rather than finishing the job early we over do the foreplay, concede a sloppy goal and let the opposition think they can get away with more than they bargained for. Eye-Ball takes one in the face, and we rely on Harry to provide the money shot. Although it might not be pretty the desired outcome is achieved, and as it is people only really tune in to see the t....(team) and ch....(chart).

Milesy made two changes for this game as Niki came in for his first start to replace the injured Deano, and Sharpy was given a run upfront in place of Nick.

ppppppppppppppppTy

LukeppppppRobppppNikippppEye-Ball

Nathan (c)ppppppMikey BpppppTapsellppppppRyan

ppppppppppSharpyppppHarry

subs: Steve, Gavin, Jordan, Joe, Nick

New player introduction: Niki "Lawsie" Laws

Best attributes Provides a vocal presence at the heart of defence, and has a a level head that is sometimes lacking in the Oaks team. Great positional sense and strong in the air, Niki's composure and love of defending make him a perfect addition to a defensive unit that is probably the best in the league (but then I would say that).

Lawsie joins an elite group of Oaks players who: have an officially trademarked Oaks Athletic nickname; joining Eye-Ball, Tapsie, Steptoe, Weeeeeeed, the BFJ, No-Fun and "that nob in the purple shirt" (a general nickname that is shared around as required).

The Oaks took the lead in the first half when a good passing move lead to Nathan's near post shot being well saved by the keeper. Nathan did eventually finish the job from Ryan's inswinging corner, as he rose highest to head home from six yards: 1-0.

The Oaks were unable to increase their lead in the first half despite totally dominating the opposition, and when half-time eventually arrived the score was 1-0.

The second half didn't go as well as planned and we conceded a bizarre goal to let Jacks Lads back into the game. Under pressure from three opposition players, Ty failed to gather the ball cleanly in the area, and as the ball broke and was fired across goal Robbie instinctively threw up an arm to clear the ball from danger.

I felt a little sorry for the referee who was being watch by an assessor and, like a teacher on Ofsted, went completely over the top with his application of the laws of the game. Prior to the match we were lined up like naughty school children on the edge of the 18 yard box as our boots and attire were scrutinised, and anyone straying from the line was reprimanded. We were told everything would be by the book, but unfortunately for him he had some decisions to make in this game that needed a bit more knowledge than the correct procedure for a substitution. The first big decision was to award a penalty when Weed had the flag raised for offside, and to only book Robbie when it was clear that he was going to send him off before Nathan convinced him otherwise. The penalty was converted (twice) and the Oaks had let the opposition back into the game. 1:1.

The rest of the half was full of missed chances: Sharpy's shot went wide when the keeper dropped the ball at his feet, Nathan was unable to convert a chance from the right that is usually his bread and butter, Tapsell's drilled free kick went wide of the goal by a gnat's whisker, and Mikey's left footed dipping volley from the edge of the area was deflected from the top corner by the flying Jacks Lads keeper.

All these missed opportunities put more pressure on the Oaks defence to keep out the opposition, which they did by any means possible, including Eye-Ball blocking a rasping volley from point blank range with his face. The opposition actually seemed to show more concern than his team mates, but then this isn't an unfamiliar sight for them.

Not for the first time this season, it was our two youngest players (the acorns you could say...) who showed the rest of us how it should be done. Ryan broke from midfield and played the ball out to Harry on the left. He advanced towards the goal, and although his shot wasn't great, it had enough pace to squeeze through the keeper's legs and trickle over the line: 2-1.

The Oaks held on to the lead for the remaining twenty minutes, with the game ending in bizarre circumstances as Nick - who had come on for Sharpy - tried to slow down the keeper as he looked to take a quick goal kick. Nick then put the player on the edge of the area under pressure, won the ball and then was brought down as he looked to round the keeper. The ref's immediate reaction was to point to the spot, but then with Nick rolling around on the ground indecision seemed to set in again. Should Nick have been penalised for being in the area when the goal kick was taken? Had he played advantage that had then ended by the time Nick regained possession? Should the penalty stand in which case would he have to send the keeper off? Or could he avoid making any decision at all by blowing the final whistle before any definitive action was taken?

You can probably guess what he went for, much to the annoyance and surprise of many of the Oaks players who were busy discussing who was to be given the opportunity to climb the goal scoring chart.

While this strange ending took some gloss of the result, we should be pleased to get another three points, and shouldn't be surprised that teams like Jacks Lads are proving a tougher challenge the second time round. I don't know what people used to think when they saw a game against the Oaks on the fixture list, but imagine that while they expected a tough encounter, they would have felt three point should be achievable. Now we are the team everyone wants to beat rather than the team that should be beaten, and everyone is going to raise their game against us as they look to be the first to slay the mighty Oaks. As long as we can keep our game above the level of our opposition (as we are more than capable of doing), there is no reason why we can't carry on winning.

Eye-Ball

Goal scoring chart