Oaks Athletic 4 - 2 Thameside

The oaks twice came from behind to eventually win at a canter, in a game that they were by far and away the better team and, had it not been for a couple of wind induced errors (although I'm not directly referring to Parker's pre-match issues, inhaling whatever it was emanating from his person can't do a man any good) and a hatful of missed chances, we could have made the Manchester Derby look like a close game.

With another great turnout Milesy had plenty of options again, and with Harry available was able to revert back to his preferred 4-4-2 without having to play anyone out of position:

ppppppppppppppppTy

Deano (c)ppppppRobppppMillyppppEye-Ball

BunnyppppMikey BpppppTapsellppppppJoe

ppppppppppNickppppHarry

subs: Parker, Steve, Whiley, Luke, Al, Gollum, Nathan

Watchers: Sharpy, Ryan

New player introduction: Steve Browne

Known as:Brownie

Best attributes: A marauding full-back whose low centre of gravity, combined with a good turn of pace, make him ideal for exploiting the space that inevitably appears between full backs and wingers in Sunday League football.

When not playing football you'll find him: enjoying a glass/bottle/beaker (or whatever else he can lay his hands on) of beer and perfecting his slip-stich technique (he does knit a lovely hat).

Before we get into the details of the game, it is worth giving a brief weather report. It was a clear, mild day, but most importantly there was a strong breeze blowing from one end of the pitch towards the flats at the other end. This was to give the team playing into the wind an immediate advantage, as clearances from one end would fly all the way into the last third whereas from the other end the defending side would struggle to get the ball past the half way line.

In the first half the Oaks were kicking into the wind, but seemed to be coping OK with the conditions to start with. The first chance of the game even fell to one of our players, and when Rob placed his shot into the bottom corner Tyrone did well to get down and tip the ball around the post (no typos there honestly).

Title for most relieved man on the pitch goes to: Mr Robin Lawrence

It was from corners that Thameside looked most dangerous, as with the help of the wind they were able to swing the ball right into the heart of the six yard box. The Oaks didn't help themselves by giving away far to many avoidable corners, mainly through miskicks and indecision for which the wind can only be partly to blame for. As it happened we defended these corners well (with a bit of luck as well as Thameside hit the post on at least one occasion), and should take some credit for not conceding via this avenue.

It was totally against the run of play that the Oaks went behind when Bunny committed a foul just inside the opposition half (let's call it 50 yards from goal for arguments sake). Bunny's tackle hadn't made him any friends from the opposition side, but all was soon forgiven as their skipper over hit a long ball into the box that sailed over Ty's head and into the roof of the net. Deceived by the flight of the ball (which initially seemed to be sailing well over), Ty didn't even move and it took a while for us all to realise that the ball had indeed gone in and we were 1-0 down.

In the past heads might have dropped at this point, but we knew that we had the beating of Thameside and were playing some really nice football. One particular move that stood out was a passing exchange that saw Mikey play the ball on to Nick, who immediately layed it off to Mikey who had continued his run towards the area. Mikey then passed it to Tapsell who spread the play to Joe on the left. It was unfortunate that this move came to nothing as we could have been looking at an early contender for goal of the season (an award that doesn't even exist by the way).

It wasn't long before our class finally shone through as Tapsell once again linked up with Harry to create a fine opening that was finished in style. On this occasion Tapsell actually used the head wind to his advantage as a firmly struck through ball (is it triangle in Fifa Harry?) held up perfectly for Harry to run in behind the defender, across and around the stranded keeper and to slot the ball expertly into the empty net: 1-1.

Title for most relieved man on the pitch now passes to: Mr Tyrone Owen

**INTERLUDE**

On the 16 August 1977 Elvis Presley was found dead on the toilet (conspiracy theorists still claim the fact Parker was seen leaving the bathroom shortly before Elvis entered can't be a coincidence). On 23 February 20 million viewers watched "Dirty" Den Watts get shot and fall into the canal (supposedly to his death). In 1991 Harold Bishop mysteriously disappears, with nothing but his glasses being found on the edge of a cliff. And on the 16 April 2011 Eye-Ball Paul wrote a touch obituary to the Oaks late inspirational captain Nathan Kerin.

http://oaksathletic.blogspot.com/2011/04/oaks-athletic-5-0-laird-athletic.html"

One thing all these men have in common is that they all have attempted to make a comeback in recent years (I believe you can see Elvis at the Indian Restaurant in Billericay in a few weeks time), but for three of the four these have proven to be relatively unsuccessful. After being given the all clear to return to playing football (although with the obvious warning to not over do it), Nathan returned to the Oaks fold this week, and on coming on for the injured Bunny (one of our new stars) he made an instant impact, and there is no doubt that his presence and determination galvanised the team.

**END OF INTERLUDE**

For Nathan to grab the headlines on his return, someone needed to give him, and the rest of the team, a reason to display their grit, determination and team spirit. Step forward Eye-Ball. The miskicks and slices that plagued the first half have already been mentioned, and Eye-Ball was by far and away the worst afflicted. The way he was playing in the first half he would have struggled to kick Sharpy if you'd tied him to a lamppost by his ear hair. Having already had Harry to thank for tackling back when possession had been given away perilously close to our own area, there was no-one to save him when a descending, spinning ball completely bamboozled him (think Mike Gatting and Shane Warne), leaving the Thameside winger to run clear through on goal and finish neatly over Ty's head to give Thameside another undeserved lead: 1-2.

Although I wanted the ground to swallow me up, the words of support and encouragement from around the team were much appreciated, and showed to me what a great bunch of lads we have assembled at the club. Now they just had to dig deep to get Eye-Ball out of jail and win the three points they deserved.

Although no goal came before half-time, the signs were good and there seemed to be plenty of confidence that, with the wind on our side in the second half the deficit could be overturned.

The chances were to come thick and fast in the second half, and there is no way I can remember all of them. If there is anything I miss that you would like mentioned (this week and every other week) just leave a comment and I'll add any additions/corrections. With Harry's pace upfront to exploit the wind, Nathan charging down the right hand side and Tapsell and Mikey now controlling the midfield the Thameside goal was now under siege. Add to this the added bonus of Nathan's trademark long throw (yes lads, get on the BACK post) - which must now only be used one most needed - it is amazing that the score was still 1-2 after 20 minutes of the second half.

Particularly good efforts that came to nothing included a rasping shot from Harry on the left hand side of the box, a towering header from Tapsell following a cross from Nathan that he couldn't quite direct on target, and a header from Mikey following a corner that hit the woodwork. There was even a moment of controversy as Robin's initial header from Nathan's throw was palmed up by the keeper only for the assistant referee's flag to be raised as Robin and Harry combined to put the ball in the net. Although Harry would have been offside from Robin's initial header (neither would have been offside from the throw-in) should the goal have stood if Robin got the final touch on the rebound? You could debate interference and "being active" until the cows come home, but at the end of the day we just had to go again.

We even had the odd scare, and both Eye-Ball and Ty went some way to making up for their early errors with interventions that kept the score at 2-1. Eye-Ball chased back to make a well timed sliding challenge in the area (although Deano rightly pointed out that it was his man who had been allowed to temporarily escape), and Ty closed the angle well to make a good save after the Thameside substitute had slipped in behind our back four.

By this point we were throwing absolutely everything at Thameside, and with Brownie now on and charging down the left wing (he'd originally been put on at left back but Milesy soon realised his switch was cranked to full attack mode, so pushed Eye-Ball back to full back) and Mikey and Tapsell getting further forward surely our luck had to turn sooner or later.

Nathan has always been a big fan of the goal scoring chart, and now that assists are also being recorded he would have been very happy to make his first notch. His through ball was initially meant for Deano (who had selflessly offered his cherished captain's armband to Nathan earlier in the half), but was latch on to by Tapsell who charged into the area and sent a screaming volley past the keeper and into the roof of the net: 2-2.

New holder of the most relieved man on the pitch award: Mr Eye-Ball

Thameside were now playing like they had already lost, and despite their best efforts to hold up proceeding with an array of confusing substitutions and re-organisations that at one point saw them with only ten players on the pitch for a good five minutes, there was still plenty of time to grab a winner. In fact we went one better and got another two inside the last 15 minutes.

The Oaks were now committing more and more players forward, and when Nathan broke down the right to the bye-line he had plenty of men to pick out in the middle. He opted for the biggest one, and Nick gratefully accepted the inch perfect low cross that left him with the simplest of tap-ins and earn him his third goal of the season: 3-2.

The scoring/assist chart only made its first appearance last week, and it has definitely made a big impression on Tapsell who seemed desperate to add to the one goal and 3 assists that he already had to his name. I won't ask if he collects notches, but he soon got another one as reward for the frequent lung bursting runs he was making into the box in the last 10 minutes. On this occasion it was another assit for Nathan who's long throw once again struck, with Tapsell beating the keeper to head home from 6 yards: 4-2.

I'm not sure any of us wanted this game to end, but all good things must. We're going to come up against tougher opposition but hopefully we can continue to play with the same determination and team spirit regardless of the opposition and the state of the game.

Interestingly our opponents next week - Pegasus - had lost 3 out of 3 before this week, when they beat the only other unbeaten side other than the oaks (Beauchamps - 4 wins out of 4 before this week) by two goals to one. This just shows what an open league we are in, and why we should be pushing ourselves to be up near the top of the table come the end of the season.

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 30th October: Away @ Pegasus Club v Pegasus Coryton: 9:45 meet.

P.S. Don't forget that the clocks go BACK saturday night.

Goals an assists:

Lakeside Trojans 2 - 0 Oaks Athletic (Ted Fairchild Cup)

Another week, another cup game, and another early exit for the Oaks. You never know what you are going to be up against when you play a team from the bottom division of the Thurrock Sunday League. With so many new and reformed teams popping up each year, the weakest teams often get forced up a league leaving some very good teams behind. The Lakeside franchise is already threatening to topple the Ockendon Motorspares empire that has dominated the Thurrock Sunday League for years, with the two existing teams making steady progress towards the premier division. They have now added a team of young upstarts, who have made a flying start in the 4th division and showed against the Oaks that they could compete well above their current level. However, although the better team on the day won, the Oaks still walked away disappointed in a performance that lacked composure and discipline, and was well below what we know we are capable of.

Milesy returned this week (complete with pink shirt and sun-tan), and although the tequila and sombreros were sadly missing, he did bring our shiny new purple kit (complete with matching socks) as chosen democratically at the end of last season. Although this wasn't a great start for the new kit, it still signals the start of a new era for the Oaks as Milesy looks to gel the significant contingent of new players with the old. For this game, with a severe lack of recognised strikers, Milesy chose to experiment with five in the middle, leaving Nick on his own up top:

ppppppppppppppppTy

RobppppppDeano (c)ppppMillyppppEye-Ball

ppppppppppppppGollum
MikeyppppBunnypppppTapsellppppppAl

ppppppppppppppNick

Subs/Watchers: Parker, Luke, Whiley, Gavin, Scott, Steve, Joe, Nathan, Chris, Jordan, Ryan

I haven't had any complaints about the new player intros so will continue this week with Bunny:

Ash

AKA:
Bunny

Most likely reason for nickname:
His surname is Bun

Least likely reason for surname:
Three years spent satisfying Hugh Hefner's labedo in the Playboy Mansion

Best attributes:
Strong in the tackle and in the air, and a great first touch that gives a stronger case for the above nickname suggestion.

Lakeside dominated the early exchanges, and showed themselves to be a confident and energetic young side. Virtually the first move of the game saw them work the ball to their main front man, who found some space on the edge of the area and shot wide of the right hand upright.

It wasn't long before Ty was called into action as he had to atone for his own error as a miscued kick from a back pass presented the ball to a Lakeside player in space. Ty recovered well to close the angle and block the shot with his legs.

Lakeside's constant harassment evidently unsettled the Oaks who failed to make use of the possession they had, and were guilty of giving away far too many soft free kicks when there was still plenty of cover to deal with any dangerous situations that may arise.

Twice in the first half the Oaks were punished for this indiscipline and the two goal difference that was to remain until the end of the game was soon established. Teams are often accused of lacking width, but I don't think this comment is meant to apply to a defensive wall. However, when a free kick was conceded 10 yards outside the area, and hit low around the right side of the wall and out of Ty's reach, it was clear that our one could have done with a bit more girth: 1-0.

One nil became two nil when, with our penalty area packed with red and black shirts (remembering we now play in purple) following another free kick, Ty attempted to play a 1-2 to with the opposition player who didn't oblige and deflected the ball into the net. While there was some debate over the legality of the method used to get the ball into the net (some sort of combination of hand and right testicle being one possibility), Ty sets himself high standards (his dazzling new green kit being a prime example) and I'm sure he would have been disappointed to have not held the initial shot, especially as he had commanded his six yard box from numerous dangerous inswinging corners up to this point: 2-0.

Still, with over sixty minutes left to play we had plenty of time to get back into this game and could have been level at the break if we had got a better rub of the green with two excellently manufactured chances.

Tapsell and Bunny play a lot of football together (they joined the Oaks from the same side and play five-a-side together each week), and showed an almost telepathic understanding when they linked up to create a chance that almost saw Bunny score his second for the season with a goal that would have been a contender for goal of the season. As the ball came towards Tapsell in the air, he heard the call from his mate and nodded the ball on in Bunny's direction. With his back to goal, Bunny let the ball bounce across him, swivelled and hit it first time towards the right hand side of the goal from 25 yards before anyone else reacted. We all watched on as the ball bounced, hit the post and bounced away out of the reach of Mikey, who was the only one who realised a re-bound might be on.

The second best chance of the half also fell to Bunny, as he rose like a ...(sorry, that's too obvious even for me) on the edge of the six yard box to meet Mikey's excellent cross from the right, but could not direct his header under the cross bar.

We also showed we could be dangerous from free kicks as Al "I can't take free-kicks" Blake floated an excellent ball to the back post which almost lead to a goal.

The half time team talk from Milesy was mainly positive: he could see that we could create chances against this side, and despite the goals, Ty's save and one defensive lapse when their striker broke through and shot over, we had defended well. Milesy did decided that Nick needed some support up top, and whilst to some of us the obvious choice would have been to simply move former prolific striker Gollum further up the field, he instead chose to give Scott (who we were all pleased to see return from injury) a run out whilst reverting to a 4-4-2 formation.

Although the infuriating sound of the referee's whistle continued to interrupt play during the second half, we soaked up the continuing Lakeside pressure and Ty had a much quieter second half.

With Scott now on we could look to make better use of our aerial threat from crosses and corners, as he showed that the lay-off through injury hadn't affected his ability to swing in tempting corners into the danger zone. Two stand out chances from these whipped in deliveries fell to Bunny and Rob. The former making a well timed run to the near post to head narrowly wide. Rob came even closer when his nod down at the back post unfortunately hit the Lakeside keeper, who didn't know very much about the save.

The keeper has to take more credit for the save he made from Tapsell, who made a superb run into the box and struck the ball with venom using the outside of his right boot, only to see his effort tipped over by a diving yellow blur.

If any of these chances had gone in, it would have been interesting to see how the young pretenders would have handled the pressure of protecting a one goal lead, and despite the fact that we failed to disturb the net there were a number of positives to take from the second half performance. The stand-out one for me being the cameo performance by Luke at right-back; for a man who has been patiently waiting to get his chance wearing a goalie's jersey he show himself to be a composed and tidy defender, and with a booming right boot that can be used to clear the lines or set up an attacking move Milesy has yet another option (or is that head-ache) to consider. Milesy should also get credit for managing to re-organsie the side during the second half to get all three permitted subs onto the field. With not many like-for-like changes possible he first brought on Gavin for Al, who was replaced by Scott on the left with Gav join Nick upfront. Then for Luke to get his chance at right back Mikey left the field and Rob moved to the right wing.

So although the result wasn't what we would have liked, I think we all (including Milesy) can learn a lot from this game as we look to compete in what looks to be the most evenly matched division in the league.

I should add that the main thing I learned is that it's advisable not to spend too long on the ground injured, as the next time Parker waddles on to provide unrequested treatment he may have something worse than orange squash in his bottle.

Eye-Ball

Next game: Sunday 23rd October @ Home v Thameside - Meet between 0915 and 0930 (as we have to put the nets up).

Goals and assists chart:

East London Catalans 6 - 0 Oaks Athletic (Essex Cup)

The boys from Beckton sent the Oaks lads back to Thurrock with their tails between their legs, in a game that saw skill, speed, power and determination in abundance (unfortunately it all came from one side).

It was pleasing that so many of the squad turned up for this game; especially as many knew before the game that they would not be playing. Sharpy (who had been given a vote of confidence by the board after an impressive first week in charge) stuck to Milesy's plan to give a lot of the new lads - who had played a limited part in the first two games - the opportunity for a good run out. This meant a first start in goal for Luke, and with Gollum, Parker, Al also getting their first taste of the action this season:

pppppppppppppppppppLuke (GK)

pSteve (RB)ppWhiley(CB)pppDeano(CB) (c)ppppChris (LB)

Jordan (RM)pppGollum (CM)ppAl (CM)ppppppEye-Ball (LM)

pppppppppppppParker (CF)pppppHarry (CF)

Subs/Watchers: Nick, Rob, Mikey, Ty, Joe, Gavin, Tapsell, Nathan, Sharpy, Ryan

This week's introduction to the new players sees us take a look at Harry:

Harry

Known as: 'H'

Biggest hit: 'Tragedy' - a UK no. 1 with over 1 million copies sold

Young enough to be mistaken for: Robbie Lawerence's grandson

Best Position: Striker

Best attributes: Pace, quick feet, an eye for goal, and legs that miraculously turn to jelly inside the 18 yard box (funny, sounds remarkably like our old skipper...)

Don't be surprised to hear him shout: "Triangle R1!" as he forgets this is real football (OK perhaps only loosely speaking) and not FIFA 2012.

The Oaks started well enough with Al and Gollum breaking up the play in midfield, whilst linking up well with Jordan, Harry and Parker. However, it wasn't long before the Catalans got into their stride and showed that they were at least one level above us in every area. If any of us had ever wondered what it would be like to defend against Shaun Wright-Phillips and David Villa (yes Harry, I know you probably have done), this is probably the closest we'll come, as their speedy wingers terrorised us down the flanks whilst their midfielders started to over-run us through the middle as well.

As a result of their almost constant attack on our goal, Catalans won numerous corners and free kick. It was these set pieces that exposed the main weakness of the Oaks starting eleven for this game, as all our main aerial ball winners were either on the bench, suspended or semi-retired. The first goal conceded was a prime example of what we were missing, as Eye-Ball found himself knocked off-balance from a corner in an area that Rob and Milly would usually dominate, which subsequently left his man free to nod the ball home.

At least two more of the other three goals conceded in this half came as a result of us not clearing the ball from set pieces, and Catalans found various ways to get the ball past Luke, including an overhead kick from their centre back and skipper (says it all really!)

It wasn't all doom and gloom in the first half, as we managed to create two half chances with Harry heading goal wards from a cross by Jordan, and Parker failing to capitalise on a chance to show his technical ability as a volley skewed off the side of his boot. Luke also pulled of a fine diving save to keep the scoreline looking slightly more respectable than it could have done.

Even Deano's boots couldn't cope and had to be retired during the game

Joe, Tapsell and Gavin came on at half time for Chris, Gollum and Parker, and although things didn't improve dramatically we did manage to cut down the number of corners and free kicks which helped slow the rate of scoring. In fact both the goals in this half came from open play, with Eye-Ball once again having to put his hands up for the 5th goal as he was outrun by their forward following our own corner, and the striker was allowed to centre the ball for his partner to score. The 6th goal was scored by one of the Catalan substitutes who seemed to be even quicker and more skillful than the ones they had replaced. This was proven as the aforementioned player glided round Deano and Eye-Ball and shot low across Luke and into the bottom corner.

We did have our moments, with Tapsell once again showing his eye for a defence splitting pass; unfortunately on this occasion it was our defence he decided to split! Al repeated the feat, but this time the pass was for Harry, who may have continued his goal a game ratio if it hadn't been for a dubious linesman's flag that was to frustrate him all afternoon.

It was becoming apparent that, with the score at 6-0, the Oaks watchers were beginning to lose faith in their team mates. This was confirmed when Eye-Ball's attempt to raise the spirits of his team mates by proclaiming that "we're doing alright lads", was met by a barrage of hysterical laughter - very disappointing...

Anyway, the referee finally put us out of our misery and allow us to return to our new home at The Ship and reflect on what can only be put down as an experience. The good thing is that confidence should remain high going into next weeks game as we know we won't ever be this far out of our depth in the Thurrock Sunday League.

Eye-Ball

Injury List: Ryan damaged his ankle ligaments during the week and will be out for around 4 weeks, but this didn't stop him coming to support the team. This is a big blow given the great start he has made to the season, and we obviously wish him a speedy recovery.

Next Game: Sunday 16th October Away @ Blackshots v Lakeside Trojans - Ted Fairchild Cup.

Scoring chart to be added later in the week.

Jacks Lads 0 - 3 Oaks Athletic

The Oaks carried off where they had finished against Belhus, and picked up their first win of the season with an impressive display against Jacks Lads.

With the Oaks' Manager continuing to refuse to engage the press due to a long running dispute which stemmed from incriminating photos of Hercules appearing in the local rag, assistant manager Juan Sharpy Del Bag-i0 emerged from the dressing room to simply proclaim that "The boys played the nuts!"

Today's brief synopsis is gratefully supplied by our very own Michael (Peter) Parker (we've always said you shouldn't leave him with your children...), and edited by Eye-Ball.

It would have been hard to change the team that finished so strongly last time out, but with club captain Deano returning, Eye-Ball missing and Harry turning up late changes were inevitable. However Sharpy showed himself to be more than capable of putting together a team that would give the Oaks a good chance of picking up all three points:

ppppppppppppppppppppppTy

WhileypppppppppMillyppppppppRobppppppppDeano (c)

Mikey B pppppTapsell ppppppppGavinppppppppRyan

ppppppppppppAsh pppppppppppNick

Subs: Parker, Steve, Jordan, Luke, Chris, Gollum, Nathan, Harry,Al, Joe

The Oaks took to the field in their skin tight Italian style blue shirts (although some of us would argue they actually fit snuggly). With Harry missing out on a starting spot for being late, Nick took full advantage of his starting place to net twice in a first half that the Oaks completely dominated.

It seems the curse of the Oaks captaincy struck once again, as Deano was forced off at half time to be replaced by Chris, who threatened to pull a Tevez rather than pull on Deano's drenched shirt which came as a result of playing in 30 degree heat on the 2nd of October! Harry replace a tired Mikey B, who had obviously worked hard in his new right wing position, and Joe got his first taste of action of the season as he replaced Gav. I'm going to assume that Ash moved to the middle whilst Harry went upfront and Joe took Mikey's place on the wing - possibly switching with Ryan? Then again, with Sharpy in charge anything could have happened!

The Oaks were put under more pressure in the second half, but with Harry's pace as an outball there was always a way of releasing this pressure and creating a chance to extend the lead. This they duly did when Harry beat the off-side trap to finish the game. Credit must be given to the ref (one of Jacks lads contingency) who ignored the linesman flagging for an off-side player who was not interfering with play, to allow Harry to carry on and score: 0-3.

Parker

Next game: Sunday 9th October - Essex Cup - Away v East London Catalans