Lakeside FC 2 – 0 Oaks Athletic and Oaks Athletic 1 – 2 Lakeside FC

You could argue that these results alone are reflective of the good form the Oaks are in at the moment. We may have come away without any points, but walked off at the end of 120 minutes with our heads held high, safe in the knowledge that Lakeside knew that they had been made to work hard for their points, and that their fans definitely would never have considered singing “can we play you every week”. On the contrary they will be pleased to see the back of us, and are unlikely to do battle with us again unless a cup draw dictates otherwise.

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There were some early concerns about the mental state of some of the Oaks players, with it transpiring that Nick had given some bloke the fright of his life as he jumped into his car, mistaking it for Gollum’s. Milly also mistook Jimmy for Parker, which as insults go would have felt like a bigger kick in the teeth than anything Jimmy has experienced at the hands of the local rozzers.

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The Oaks were boosted by the return of Ty and Jordan, but with Rob, Scott and JP missing it was going to be a tough morning for the 13 men available for selection. Milsey decided to start the match with the following line up:

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pppppppppppppppppTyrone (GK)
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ppParker (RB) Deano (CB) Milly (CB) Eye-Ball (LB)
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pJordan (RM) Gollum (CM) Mikey (CM) Aaron (LM)
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pppppppppppNathan (CM) (C)

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ppppppppppppppppppppppNick (CF)

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Subs: Sharpy, Jimmy

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For the first ten minutes, we were more than equal to top of the league Lakeside, whose game plan to play the ball behind our back four, and exploit the bags of pace they possessed both on the flanks and through the middle, was clear. However, Ty was quick of his line, and dealt with anything that came into the area.

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I don’t want to use the fact that Lakeside were wearing red as an excuse, but along with their petulant youth, the proverbial rag to the bull seemed to be waved by the opposition, as the Oaks completely lost their discipline, and with it their competitive edge in this first half. One incident early in the half saw both teams reduced to ten men, and following a reshuffle a misjudged header from Eye-Ball turned into a through ball for the Lakeside striker, who had too much gas for Aaron and executed a composed finish past Ty: 1-0.

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A deflated Oaks made it to half time without going further behind (mainly thanks to some fine saves from Ty with his legs), and had a much needed five minute break to recompose ourselves and attempt to regain the self-control that had been sorely missing in the first half.

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Milesy could see that the reshuffled team following the dismissal just wasn’t working, and in an inspired move decided to shift Nathan to centre half, whose aerial presence, pace and strength in the tackle were a welcome boost to the make-shift defence. This also allowed Eye-Ball to return to the left-back position which helped to deal with the threat Lakeside possessed on the flanks.

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Sharpy also came on for the second half and took up a position on the left where he was finding lots of space and causing all sorts of problems for the opposition. The team was functioning much better now, and we started to look back to our best. Despite this we were obviously weakened in attack with Nathan playing at the back, and failed to create many clear cut chances. Eye-Ball did come close to scoring when he broke in from the bye line, but could only hit the post from a tight angle.

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Given how much better we had played it was disappointing to go two down, when Lakeside eventually found a way through our defence and finished past a helpless Ty: 2-0.

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Lakeside are a very young and talented side, and if they stay together they will be a force to reckon with in the Thurrock Sunday League in years to come. However, what they have in footballing ability they severely lack in the art of self preservation. I don’t like to see any retaliation on the football pitch, but some of their players (the goal keeper especially) need to learn where they are in the food chain, and mouthing off at, or antagonising, any of the many players in this league who are just waiting to make them their lunch is like booking a one-way ticket to A&E. Still, these predatory instincts are often to the detriment of the team, which was once again proved when the Oaks lost their most influential player from the second half, and any chance of getting anything from the game. So an ill-tempered affair finished 2-0 to Lakeside.

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Milesy and the referee made it clear that we needed to wipe the slate clean, clear our heads, and start again from scratch for the second match. Milesy had obviously decided we should look to soak up the pressure and try and hit Lakeside on the break as he packed the defence, with Nathan continuing in the centre with Deano and Milly, and Eye-Ball moving to the right to try and deal with the lightening fast winger who had terrorised Parker and Jimmy in the first match.

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ppppppppppppppppppppppTyrone (GK)
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ppEye-Ball (RB) Nathan(CB) (c) Deano (CB) Milly (CB) Parker (LB)
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ppppppJordan (RM) Gollum (CM) Mikey (CM) Aaron (LM)
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ppppppppppppppppppppppNick (CF)

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Subs: Sharpy, Jimmy

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Such was Lakeside’s strength in depth, that they were able to change a number of players without appearing to weaken their side. The new winger who Parker was given the job of marking was even quicker than the one he replaced, and they were also able to call on a lightening fast 6 foot plus striker who had been surplus to requirements in the first match. It was this striker who broke the deadlock, with a finish we could only stand and applaud. A floated ball from the right drifted just over Milly’s head, and the striker was on hand to bring it down with one touch, and fire past Ty into the corner of the net with a second: 0-1.

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Lakeside scoring first was the only similarity with the first match, as this game was destined to take a very different path. It was down to Mikey – who was working his socks off in the middle of the park – to raise the Oaks’ spirits and get us back on level terms with a goal that is up there with the best we have scored this season. Nick won the ball in the middle following a misunderstanding between the opposition players, and played the ball out the Jordan on the right. Jordan then showed why he is our best deliverer of a ball, as he played a superb cross over the Lakeside defence to the far side of the area where Mikey had advanced. Mikey caught the ball sweetly on the volley with his supposedly weaker left foot and the ball stung the keepers hands its way into the net: 1-1.

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This goal really lifted the Oaks and with only 40 minutes or so to play in the match we started believing we could grab at least a point. Lakeside continued to look dangerous, and the new striker would have had a second goal if it hadn’t been for an outstanding save from Ty as he got down well to flick the ball away from the goal when it was heading towards the back of the net. The half ended 1-1.

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The 4^th half followed a similar pattern with the Oaks entrenched in their own half for much of the time, and Nick casting a lonely figure as he tireless tried to hold up possession to give the rest of us time to get up in support. We did play some good football though, including a sequence of passes from kick-off that numbered between 10 and 15, but still ended up in a Lakeside attack. We even created a good chance to take the lead when the ball fell to Mikey in the area; he had more time than he realised though and his snatch shot with the ball bouncing sailed way over the bar.

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Lakeside created plenty of chances to score as well, but were pretty wasteful in front of goal. They also had the difficult task of getting past Ty, for whom I’m running out of superlatives. He continued to keep us in the game, and made one splendiferous save in particular, diving to his left to tip a rasping shot past the post.

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With only a few minutes remaining we were starting to believe that we were going to hold out for a much deserved point, but then a rare lapse at the back saw us lose our shape, and the five that had worked so well were now more like three. The youthful Lakeside players were quick to turn this into a numerical advantage inside the box, and one of the unmarked players had time to steady himself and shoot high into the net past a despairing Eye-Ball and possibly unsighted Tyrone: 2-1.

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There was still time for one last throw of the dice, and when a throw-in was won out on the right Nathan hurled the ball into the box. Mikey leapt to win the header and flicked it on to Deano, whose own flick on look like it was going to slip under the bar, but unfortunately went just the wrong side. The game ended 2-1.

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At the end of last week’s report I said that, whatever the results this week, if we continued to play in the way we have been recently we could leave the field with our heads held high. This we certainly did, as although our endeavours were not rewarded with any points, this performance should fill us with confidence when we go up against any of the teams in this league, and also leave us with some satisfaction from knowing how hard our opponents were made to work. Well done boys, and more of the same next week.

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Eye-Ball

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Next match – Sunday 27 Feb @ Home v Thameside – 10:30 K.O.

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There will be a twist this week, as Milesy is away and has left Sven and Nancy (aka Nathan and Sharpy) in charge. This could be interesting…

Oaks Athletic 3 - 1 Rec Rovers

A great win against the odds against George and Dragons meant the Oaks would have been confident of gaining another three points against a team we are more than capable of beating. However, as is typical of the Oaks, we turned out at Blackshots this week with a bare eleven and no goalkeeper. It is therefore testament to the attitude and determination of those who were there that we outplayed Rec Rovers and gained another deserved 3 points despite finishing the match with ten men.

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With Parker not recovering from the elbow injury endured last week, and neither Ty nor Scott available, Deano put his hand up and put on the gloves, goalie shirt and padded shorts. Deano may not have been the first choice in terms of stature, but he stands tall above all others when it comes to putting himself on the line for the Oaks.

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Apart from the lack of a recognised goalkeeper, the rest of the team had a good balance, and with Parker on his way to watch we could at least name a sub.

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pppppppppppppppppDeano (GK)
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ppEye-Ball (RB) Rob (CB) Milly (CB) Aaron (LB)
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Nathan (RM) (c) Gollum (CM) Mikey (CM) JP (LM)
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pppppppppppSharpy (CF) Nick (CF)

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Subs: Parker

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It was inevitable that the squad problems would affect team confidence, and this was evident in a nervy first half in which we struggled to settle into our stride. The intention to play football was clear however, but stangely Sharpy and Nathan’s telepathic link was letting them down and strong defending from both sides kept clear cut chances to a minimum. Deano was well protected by his back four and although he looked assured when coming out to collect the ball, he wasn’t required to make a save of note. Nil – nil at half time was no bad thing, and we were definitely more than equal to Rec in every department.

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Unfortunately James (JP) Poskitt only lasted 45 minutes in his second outing for the Oaks. He wouldn’t have expected to have been thrown in at the deep end quite so quickly, but looked to be finding his feet as he put in an assured and composed performance on the left. He also showed he isn’t scared of a challenge, which means he should fit in well at The Oaks Athletic. Let’s just hope those hamstrings last longer as the weeks go on. This meant that Parker – who had no boots and had to borrow a pair of Gollum’s canoes – had to come on for the second half on the left of midfield.

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Milesy’s inspired half time advice to make sure we got that first goal seemed to do the trick, as the Oaks started to get on top early in the second half. Nowhere more than the centre of the park, where the Gollum-Mikey partnership is really starting to work well. Gollum continued his good form from last week and was winning everything in midfield. Once he had completed the donkey work he then looked to give the ball to Mikey as quickly as possible, who is getting close to his best having now had a run of games following a lengthy lay-off. With the ball at his feet, Mikey looked to create space and bring the wingers and strikers into the game, and we began to look a real threat to the Rec Rovers goal. One pass in particular stood out as Mikey played a fantastic ball to Nathan through a crowd of players, which unfortunately didn’t lead to anything.

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It is no surprise that Mikey was involved in the opening goal, when he played the ball out to Parker on the left who then feed the ball to Nick in the centre of the goal. Nick is becoming more familiar with the concept of shooting, and was rewarded on this occasion as his turn and shot found its way into the net via a deflection: 1-0.

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Any worries about the vulnerability of our depleted team were now long forgotten, and although we had to remind Deano that standing on the edge of his area with the wind against us probably wasn’t a wise move, we were playing with a huge amount of confidence. It wasn’t long before 1-0 became 2-0, with the Oaks regaining possession after Eye-Ball single handedly defeat the Rec hords to the cry of “I am Spartan!” In Rec’s desperation to regain possession a foul was committed, and Rob showed good awareness to play the ball behind the high back four for Nathan to run onto whilst Sharpy walked back, hands aloft from the offside position. Everyone’s money was on Nathan to finish with ease past the stranded keeper, and although his effort was a little closer to the keeper than expected, the goal was scored and the three points seemingly were in the bag: 2-0.

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I should have realised that there is no such thing as an easy victory as far as the Oaks are concerned, and when “he who shall not be named for legal reasons” talked the referee into sending him off, we faced the task of seeing out the last 30 minutes of the match with ten men.

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Everyone dug deep, but Deano was the real hero as he pulled off two great saves. The first (which I suppose counts as a save) came when the ball fell to the Rec’s burly centre half in the six yard box following a scramble from a corner. As he took aim to smash the ball into the net (and probably take Eye-ball – who was on the post – with it) Deano came from nowhere to throw his body in the way and block the shot. He then pulled off an amazing one handed save to deny the Rec Rovers striker on the odd occasion that the Oaks offence was breached. He also commanded his six yard box from the numerous Rec corners, and looked destined to keep a clean sheet.

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There was still plenty of time on the clock when these two efforts materialised, and if either had been converted it could have been a very nervy last 15 minutes for the Oaks. As it was we held out to the last minute, when a free kick just outside the area was well converted by Rec – if only we’d kept that extra man in the wall: 2-1.

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The following is a list of rare events involving Oaks players:

1. Deano wearing a jumper
2. Sharpy winning a bet
3. Gollum announcing he is feeling “as fit as a fiddle”
4. Aaron timing a tackle
5. Nick having a shot
6. Milesy paying Parker a compliment
7. Milly mis-timing a volley
8. Rob being booked for dissent
9. Eye-Ball scoring at the right end
10. Deano playing in goal
11. Alex not being at Alton Towers
12. Ty just taking the ball when the player is in striking distance
13. Nathan being beaten in the air
14. Sharpy getting on with the referee
15. More than 35% of the squad having a shower
16. Jimmy turning up wearing an Everton shirt
17. Mikey not complaining about having done too many squats at the gym
18. Parker managing two nights out in a row
19. Rob not ending up bleeding from some part of his face
20. Jordan making a full blooded crunching tackle
21. Ty complimenting us on the lack of watching.
22. …..[please feel free to add your own rare events to the comments]

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Now they say miracles do happen, and with two of the more outrageous statements having already occurred this weekend (Sharpy actually won a bet and Deano was between the sticks), you may say that anything was possible. However, not even Sharpy would have been stupid enough to put his money on what happened next.

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Following Rec’s goal the referee indicated that there was only 45 seconds to play, so the plan seemed obvious: kick-off and boot the ball into the corner. However, such was our confidence that we decided we could keep the ball from Rec for long enough to run down the clock. So Mikey kicked off with Nick and we advanced into the opposition half. Possession was temporarily lost, but quickly won back by Mikey who played the ball out to the right to Nathan. Nathan then looked to run the ball into the corner to safety, and Eye-ball followed him to give support and an extra outlet. The ball then found its way to Parker who turned inside and had a good effort at goal that shaved the post and dropped again to Nathan on the right. He played the ball back across to Parker, whose second attempt came off the wrong side of the canoe and looped back to Nathan on the right by-line. He then headed it back into the middle, where Eye-Ball of all people was standing unmarked on the edge of the six yard box. All those years of Heads and Volleys finally paid off as Eye-ball jumped and direct a firm header towards goal which went over the flapping keeper and into the net: 3-1.

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In five seasons of playing with the Oaks Eye-Ball finally had his first goal, but unfortunately the celebration that followed wasn’t quite what had been planned as he turned in shock, expecting to see that the goal had already been taken down at the other end and everyone walking towards the changing rooms. It wasn’t until the rest of the team rushed over to congratulate him that he realised the goal had been awarded. As a fellow West Ham fan, I felt a bit insulted to be compared, by the manager, to Frank Lampard, but it was later made clear that he was referring to Frank Snr’s goal in the 1980 FA Cup semi final rather than the portly version who plays for Chelsea. It’s just a shame that the chairman of the “Get Eye-ball a goal” society wasn’t there to see it, but hopefully he’ll still be playing long enough to see the next one. Records show that Milly is the only regular member of the current squad still to score for the Oaks, but I’m sure it won’t be long.

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Some have question what the right back was doing on the edge of the opposition penalty area when we were protecting a one goal lead with ten men, but in my defence I thought the referee had said there were five seconds rather than 45 left, and that he would blow up as soon as we kicked off. As it turned out, this was the longest five seconds in history, for which I am very grateful.

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This was a great team performance from the Oaks, and although everyone played their part the manager heaped particular praise on Gollum and Nathan, both of whom played out of their skins and between them were iconic of everything we did well in defence and attack.

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Next week will be a much tougher affair as we face top of the league Lakeside in a double header, but if we continue to play like we have the last two weeks we can leave the field with our heads held high whatever the result.

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Eye-Ball

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Next match: Sunday 20^th Feb Double header Away v Lakeside @ Lakeside

George and Dragon 1 – Oaks Athletic 2

I learnt this Sunday that there are two things you should never do: write off The Oaks, and let Parker use your towel! Discounting last weekend’s walkover, the Oaks have had a torrid time of late, with two very tough double headers and their worst defeat in recent memory. With confidence already low, the fact that we were up against the only undefeated side in the league, who had beaten us 7-4 earlier in the season, wouldn’t have done much for morale. However, not only did we win this match, we outplayed G&D for large periods of the game and thoroughly deserved to earn all three points.

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With Deano passing a late fitness test (which involved running from one end of the living room to the other), and Milly also back from injury, Milesy was able to name his regular back four for the first time since the start of January. Unfortunately the instructions on Ty’s antibiotics clearly stated that shouting “Out!” and “You’re all watching!” was an absolute no, no, so there really wasn’t any way he could play. Parker stepped in, who we all know can do a job if his head is screwed on and he is reasonably sober.

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With Sharpy’s ankle still not 100%, he had to settle for a place on the bench as Milesy started with the following eleven:

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pppppppppppppppppParker (GK)
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ppDeano (RB) Rob (CB) Milly (CB) Eye-Ball (LB)
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Jordan (RM) Gollum (CM) Micky (CM) Aaron (LM)
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pppppppppppNathan (CF) (c) Nick (CF)

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Subs: Jimmy, Sharpy, James

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Watchers: Tyrone

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Milesy summed up the first half as: first fifteen not very good, last half hour much better. We started slowly, and seemed also in awe of G&D as we allowed them to pass the ball around us and enjoy the lion share of possession. As if a disallowed goal for a narrow offside wasn’t enough, we once again got caught playing too high a line and the G&D forward ran in behind our defence to shoot passed Parker, who got a hand to the ball but couldn’t keep it out: 1-0.

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I have been told the majority of the seven goals conceded last time these two sides met were scored in this fashion, and it took Mikey to remind of us this fact and suggest we drop off five. The advice was taken, and set the tone for the remainder of the match. The Oaks started to find their feet, and found some time on the ball. With Nathan dropping deep to link up with Mikey and the wingers, and Nick causing havoc in the swirling wind, the Oaks began to get on top.

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Nathan started to find space between the defence and midfield, and with good service from those around him would have been disappointed not to test the keeper with a couple of scuffed efforts. Even Nick got a shot away at one point, which proved too hot for the G&D keeper to hold as he could only deflect it onto the post.

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The Oaks deservedly got back on level terms before half time when Aaron – who was having a superb half – executed a cheeky volleyed flick with the outside of his left boot following a good delivery from Rob. The ball looped passed the bemused G&D keeper and into the net: 1-1.

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The Oaks were now on top, having discovered that this young G&D side weren’t particularly up for the rough and tumble that the Oaks are so good at. With the defence quick to put their men under pressure from goal-side as soon as the ball was received, and Gollum breaking up play in front of the back four, G&D’s passing started to go astray. This allowed Mikey to pick up the loose balls and link up with Aaron, Jordan and the two front men who were causing the G&D defence all sorts of problems.

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It was a real blow when Nick, who was having one of his best games of the season, limped off just before half-time. This meant an early debut for new signing James, whose initial contribution was to fall over every time he ran towards the ball. Despite the obvious rustiness, James was set to play a major part in the outcome of this match.

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The second half was a really competitive affair, with the play moving from end to end. G&D created chances but, when they did break through, Parker was equal to the threat and produced some fine saves. On one occasion he charged out to meet the advancing attacker, and blocked the shot with what was later described by one of the Oaks players as his “moo moo” (which I think roughly translates to nose). He also leapt (or flopped if you want to be more accurate) to his left to stop an effort that was destined for the corner of the net. As well as a knock to the nose, Parker also sustained damage to his left elbow when a G&D player fell on it. The person who showed most concern was the referee, who was particularly interested to know if Parker was left handed, and if this would affect his evening entertainment. When he offered Parker “a hand” that was the cue for the rest of us to return to our positions. Maybe Parker can update us next week…

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When G&D were awarded a free kick in a dangerous position on the edge of the area, their lack of experience was once again evident as, despite Deano making his intention to drop back onto the post evident to everyone (he even demonstrated how this would work before the kick was taken) no attacker went with him, and he was perfectly positioned to deflect the goal bound effort behind unchallenged.

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Sharpy may not have been fit enough to start this match, but nothing was going to stop him playing some part in the game, and with about 20 minutes to go he came on for the exhausted Aaron, who had put in a great shift down the left. James moved to left midfield, and Sharpy took up his customary position spearheading the attack. Sharpy admits that he has often been used as an impact player, and it’s easy to see why as defences tend to think they are going to get an easier time when a sub striker comes on. However, with Sharpy chasing down every ball and competing in every challenge he must be a defence’s worst nightmare. Perhaps he works so well in this role because he hasn’t spent an hour getting more any more angry and frustrated with himself.

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It is therefore no surprise that he was heavily involved in The Oaks winning goal, as the Oaks caught G&D on the counter attack. I can’t quite remember exactly what happened in the build up, but I think Sharpy held the ball up before laying it off to Nathan. The ball then found its way back to Sharpy on the edge of the area, and he turned his man before seeing his shot deflected and looping up over the keeper towards the goal. James, who had made up good ground was then on hand to poke the ball over the line. It is debatable whether or not the ball would have gone in without James intervention but nobody (including Sharpy) was moaning: 1-2.

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The Oaks actually held out quite comfortably, and the strength of the squad was once again demonstrated as Jimmy slotted in for Deano, who had been struggling since his goal line clearance, and more than once popped up in the right place to clear the danger.

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The full-time whistle was greeted with muted celebrations (I think we tend to be more relieved than anything when we get a win), with the oppositions management team (yes “team”) being very gracious in defeat and acknowledging that the best team had won.

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Including the three points for the walkover, we now have 21 points with 9 games remaining so should be looking to better last season’s tally of 26 points. Next week’s game against Rec Rovers should be a real opportunity to get 3 points closer to that goal, but worryingly our second best performance of the season (I would rate this week as number one) in beating LTD was followed by a dismal display against Rec the following week – let’s make sure history doesn’t repeat itself.

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Eye-Ball

Next match - Sunday 13 February @ Home v Rec Rovers - 1030 KO

Katkus W - O Oaks Athletic - Oaks awarded three points

Sharpy is probably the only Oaks player with a smile on his face following Kaktus's withdrawal from this match due to insufficient numbers to field a team. Injury means he would have missed this match, but his 3 goal cushion in the goal scoring chart remains in tact.

There are obviously no guranteed points in this league, but after three very tough weeks we were looking forward to getting off the ropes and going toe to toe for a few rounds with a weak Kaktus side. As it happens we got three points without having to get out of bed, let alone break into a sweet which I suppose we should be glad for.

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AFC Staggs 5 – 1 Oaks Athletic and Oaks Athletic 1 – 4 AFC Staggs

The one good thing about this double header is that, after 120 minutes of being taught a severe lesson, we can say goodbye to AFC Staggs for this season and probably beyond given they must be one of the favourites for promotion.

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We were found out by a very good footballing side on this occasion, with matters not being help by injuries and absences that mainly affected the Oaks defence. Ty, Alex and Milly were missing, and Deano just wasn’t ready to return to action despite his best efforts.

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Scott was called on to play in goal in the first match, having impressed in his last outing against Linford in November. With what was left, Milesy went for the following line up for the opening match:

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pppppppppppppppppScott (GK)
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ppJimmy (RB) Rob (CB) Eye-Ball (CB) Aaron (LB)
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Nathan (RM) (c) Gollum (CM) Jordan (CM) Aaron(2) (LM)

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pppppppppppMikey (CM)
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pppppppppppppppppppNick (CF)

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Subs: Sharpy, Parker

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The first half was definitely one to forget, with Staggs cutting us apart with their pace and movement. The unfamiliar back four struggled to gel, and weren’t given any time to settle by the opposition. The situation wasn’t help by our failure to keep possession for more than two passes, and as soon as the ball was cleared it was coming back again.

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It was 4-0 by half time with two goals coming as a result of breaks down the flanks which ended in perfect low crosses for the man in the middle to finish. The others came from a break down the middle and a goal through a crowded area. Later in the pub, Mikey was adamant that he should take the blame for two of the goals despite there being no fingers pointed. His argument was that he should have made the tackle on the winger leading up to one goal, when he showed good pace and determination to get back to put in a sliding tackle, but somehow missed the ball and the player. The goal through the crowd of bodies could possibly have been avoided if Mikey and Scott hadn’t challenged each other for the ball. However, this doesn’t change the fact that we were totally out played and couldn’t complain about the half time score.

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Sharpy and Parker came on in the second half and Jimmy swapped with Eye-Ball. Jimmy was given the job of man marking Staggs dangerous number 10, and it was possibly felt Eye-Ball might have a bit more pace to deal with the breaks down the flanks which had given us so many problems in the first half. The second 30 was a much better performance, and we actually drew the half 1-1, and only conceded because Eye-Ball was caught out by the oldest trick in the book as he allowed the Stagg player to make a gap in the wall following the award of a free kick. The ball was duly placed through the gap and into the far bottom corner.

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The Oaks goal came courtesy of good work from Nick in the area, and Nathan was on hand to put the ball in the back of the net via a deflection. He assures me his effort was goal bound, and he is therefore credited with the goal.

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Unfortunately the Oaks lost yet another key player to injury, as Sharpy fell awkwardly on his ankle whilst trying to keep the ball in play. He initially thought that he had broken it, and as he lay stricken with one foot still in play the game had to be stopped for a good 10 minutes and an ambulance was called. The paramedics confirmed the diagnosis that many of us had already made – Sharpy was just being a big girl (there goes any chance of being a Sky Sports commentator). Although the ankle wasn’t broken, damage to ligaments had obviously been sustained and Sharpy would take no further part. The game ended 5-1.

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The referee we had been assigned for this match was stranger than most, and in particular was adamant that we should have as little a break between halves as possible, and also seemed very upset to have to delay play whilst Sharpy lay on the side of the pitch. He apparently didn’t have anywhere to be, so the only other explanation was that he had foolishly ordered a beer from the club bar before the game, and was concerned it would be warm after two and a half hours. Weight was added to this argument when he stormed off after the first match following a discussion about a decision with the opposition, only to be seen at the end of the match sitting in the bar enjoying a cold beer.

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This caused a further delay as we tried to sort out what to do about the second match. The Oaks have fallen foul of opposition officials standing in as referees before, but on this occasion agreed to the suggestion that their man could take the whistle. To be fair he did OK, even though he couldn’t stop himself from giving advice to, and willing on his own men. His pitch coverage and running lines were also woeful – there is a lot more to being a referee than just knowing the rules.

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The twelve men left in Oaks shirts did very well in the second match despite still conceding 4 goals. Parker replaced Scott in goal, which gave us a fresh pair of legs on the left. This definitely made a difference as we started to see more possession, and even put some good passing sequences together. Scott even managed to improve his goal aggregate for the day, as a cross come shot from the left sailed over the keeper into the far corner.

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Tiredness began to show as the game wore on, and Staggs’ superior quality and much larger squad meant they were able to keep the pressure on right to the end, and despite some good chances for Nick and Nathan we were well and truly beaten. It was something of a relief when the final whistle blew and we could lick our wounds on the way to a much needed pint at The Oak.

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Eye-Ball